


runaway

by INTPSlytherin_reylove97



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, F/M, Foster Care, Found Family, From a Character's Name Who Sounds Like Smoke, Gen, Growing Up, I PROMISE IT WILL HAPPEN, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parents, Rey Needs A Hug, Running Away, TIME JUMP HAS OFFICIALLY HAPPENED, Time Jump, Time Skips, Will Be a Large Time Jump After Chapter 10, Young Rey, but not now, foster children, reylo is endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-03-09 16:52:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 80,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18921148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INTPSlytherin_reylove97/pseuds/INTPSlytherin_reylove97
Summary: She was his first case.Twelve years old, arm in a cast and sling. She was going to be placed in a new foster home and was given a new case worker—him.Ben Solo knew being a case worker was not an easy gig nor for the faint at heart, but he did not expect to get attached to the kid.





	1. The Girl With the Broken Arm

**Author's Note:**

> So this is more general, kind of found family to ambiguous romance. So don’t expect anything wild or crazy, just some angst and heartwarming stuff.
> 
> I am doing some research but alas I am not perfect. But I have been toying with this idea for awhile, and I have seen a few fics where Leia or Luke are Rey's case workers but never Ben and I thought it would be an interesting concept to tackle.
> 
> I have it in the Rey/Ben Solo-Kylo Ren tag because it will happen WAY LATER. Not any time soon; no romance between the two until Rey is older. This is not mentioned in the tags right now because AO3 wont let me create tags on my phone.
> 
> ALSO--  
> This is more drabble/ snapshot style, kind of like 'it takes a village'. And a large portion of it is already written. I AM TRYING TO LEARN FRIENDS.
> 
> ANYWAYS...  
> Typos will be fixed later and enjoy!

 

She was his first case.

And subsequently the reason he quit.

However that was getting a little ahead of himself.

 

He’d been a recent grad, fresh out of college and completed the hours required for his license in remarkable time. Though that wasn’t surprising, he was Skywalker and Solo and every other name anyone else loved to list when they crossed his path because apparently he was his family’s legacy and their legacy alone.

But that was another issue for another day.

His family was known for their government and humanitarian work, and naturally he picked the tougher route and attempted to ‘follow’ his uncle’s footsteps—case worker for the foster care system.

Ben _knew_ the stories, he _knew_ the hours, and he _knew_ the work and effort. Yet he was determined, _fresh out of college and determined_ , as his uncle liked to say with disdain.

He shouldn’t have been surprised when Luke handed over his problem child the moment Ben was hired at his office.

“She’s a serial runaway.”

Ben flipped through the file, frowning at her age. “She’s twelve.”

“I know,” was all Luke said, slumping into his chair, “but she’s a good kid and she always comes back.”

“She comes back willingly?”

“Yup,” Luke picked up his yellow stress ball, squeezing it in his hand once, then twice. He tossed it to Ben, the young man catching it with one hand. “However, her run away tendencies make her difficult to place and keep her in one place. People don’t want someone they can’t always keep account of, causes more trouble for them with us.”

“Where’s she at?”

Luke nodded to the office window, showing the hall. On the bench a couple feet away sat a young girl, a cast and sling on her right arm. Her lip was busted, but patched up with a flailing band-aid. Worse for wear, she looked like she came straight from the hospital, with her clothes rumpled and hair thrown into three sloppy buns. Bags lingered under her eyes, far too deep for child, undoubtedly from lack of sleep The twelve year old leaned back into her seat, her legs tucked under her as she waited. Presumably for him, considering he held her file in his hand at that very moment.

Ben spun back to Luke, eyes alight with an odd mix of curiosity and fury. “What the hell happened to her?”

Rubbing his eyelids with one hand, Luke sighed, exhaustion wracking through him. “She fell out of a tree.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” Luke looked back up him, pity for the girl shinning in his eyes. “She was trying to runaway—however she over estimated her steps while climbing down the tree and fell on her arm.” His uncle then sat back up, locking eyes with him. “The family didn’t want her back, so we are looking for another placement, should have one within the hour figured out.”

Ben winced; he had his work cut out for him.

“Why don’t you go talk to her?” Luke suggested, Ben frowning at the thought. “Get to know her, it makes this entire process easier.”

While not exactly prepared to face the kid this early, Ben found himself agreeing and walking out to the bench outside his uncle’s office.

Up close, she looked smaller. All lanky limps and harsh edges. It sucked being twelve, he could not imagine being twelve and going through this shit.

Quietly he took a seat beside her, tucking her file to his side.

Before he could introduce himself, the girl spoke up, her eyes still closed.

“Are you my new case worker?”

Pressing his lips together, Ben nodded. “Uh, yeah. I’m Ben,” he offered lightly.

A dejected sigh came from the girl. Awkwardly, she crossed her arms as best should could with her cast on. “You’re my third new case worker in the last year. I don’t care about your name.”

“Well, I care about yours.”

She didn’t budge at the comment.

“The Kirks don’t want me anymore, right?” she asked, already knowing the answer. With her free hand, she rubbed her eyes. Bright hazel eyes blinked back at him, unamused. She was not in the mood for small talk, and wanted to get down to business. Apparently she expected him to do the same. “Well, I didn’t want to be there anyway.”

“I figured with the running away and all,” Ben told her with hint of sarcasm. His tone caught a sharp look from the girl. Maybe she wasn’t use to someone teasing her or making little quips. Her lips twitch for a moment, she ducking her head away again. “No, you’re not going back to them.”

“Good,” she mumbled.

Ben’s eyes narrowed on her, unsettled by her satisfaction. “Why ‘good’?”

“Because I didn’t like it there,” she announced. “They always yelled at each other.”

Ben made a mental note to check in on the Kirks. If they were yelling at each other enough to cause a twelve year old to runaway…well Ben could empathize with the kid.

Fleeting memories of his parents shouting matches came to mind. Never violent or disturbing, just loud and abrasive. The two were truly shouting to see who would top the other, who'd triumphantly be the loudest between the two. 

To Ben, their arguments were juvenile. He learned at an early age to ignore them, hide away in the confines of his room to make the noise fade into silence.

For Rey her best option was to runaway, even if it meant jumping out a goddamn window.

His eyes drifted to the cast on her arm again. It was fresh and clean, though visably heavy on her thin arm. The sling did little to help her, digging into her boney shoulder.

A tiny huff escaped the girl, she hugging her broken arm closer. Her mouth remained in a pout as she struggled to curl further into herself. 

A twinge of pity stuttered in his chest as she tried her best to turn away from him.

"Were-- were you good at the doctor?" Ben asked hesitently, his voice cracking awkwardly.

Her head perked up, eyebrows scrunched together at the question. She probably thought he was ridiculous to be asking a _twelve year old_ , essentially a teenager, how she behaved at the doctor. She wasn't some ferral child...just a kid in a shitty situation.

She squirmed in her seat. "Sort of..." her voice trailed off, avoiding Ben's concerned and comforting eyes. 

Ben sighed, feigning thought. "Is that sort of more along the lines of a 'yes' or a 'no'?"

"Skywalker would say no..."

Skywalker would say the gentlest infant was a menace in the doctors office. In Ben's not so humble opinion, his uncle's input was taken with a grain of salt on most occassions these days. "How about you? Where would _you_ say?"

She shrugged with her good side. "I guess I was good." She then narrowed her eyes, her hazel gaze frightening and harsh. She was not a kid to tease nor coddle, and she was beginning to get visably agrivated with his presence. "Why?"

"Because we have time to kill and if you were good at the doctor's office then we can walk across the street and get ice cream--"

"I am not some five year old you can taunt with sweets because you feel sorry for me," she interrupted, snappishly. Head held high, she sat taller, attmepting to match his height. She failed spectacularly, though that did not deter her. "I know all the tricks and tools you guys do. You're not my first case worker--"

"But I plan to be your last," Ben told her in earnest. 

Her next words died in her throat, the girl faltering at the revelation of his words. 

"Oh," she uttered, dropping her gaze back to her lap. 

"So I think it's best we try to get along," he suggested quietly as a few people passed by in the hall. The offices were uncomfortably busy at this time of day, Ben sinking into himself subconsciously. Looking back down at the girl, he tried his best to be optimistic. "I'm on your side," he reminded her, patting her shoulder lightly.

Without looking up, she mumbled, Ben slouching to catch her words. "Can we still get that ice cream?"

"Sure, kid."

An exasperated huff wracked through her body as she stood up. "My name's not 'kid'. It's _Rey_ ," she stressed, her good hand clenched at her side.

Ben nodded and tried--and failed--to smile. "Okay Rey, let's go."

 


	2. But She Was Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typos will be fixed later! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey only lasted in her next home for three months.

“She needs to go,” a kindly woman, Mrs. Thomason, confessed to Ben as soon as he arrived at her doorstep. He received numerous phone calls and few emails, he finally getting to them days later. One of his other cases had to attend court for a ruling, the boy going back to his mother after her latest successful stint in rehab. The case consumed most of his days until he scrounged up time to listen to voicemails and check his inbox at three in the morning. “I called the supervisor—I didn’t know if it was overstepping.”

Ben sighed, rubbing his jaw. “It’s fine. Paperwork is already being drawn, we should be able to get her moved again soon. Get her somewhere temporarily tonight,” he assured the woman with thinly veiled lies. Skywalker was aware of the situation and was already having someone look into possibly a home within the same school district as Rey was halfway through the fall semester.

She allowed him to step further into the house, leading him to dinning room. For the most part the house was clean, but sparse. “I originally took up foster care because I needed the company, wanted someone to care for after my husband’s passing a few years back…but I just can’t do it anymore. Foster care is…a lot,” she said brokenly. “Too much for my soul to handle right now, and Rey…” She looked over to the living where Rey sat with the television playing in the background as she worked on homework. “While she seems like a sweet kid, she doesn’t talk to me or anyone. Teachers asked me if she was mute—mute, and all I could say was ‘no, she just doesn’t like to talk’ and it concerns me.”

Part of Ben wondered if the woman was demanding Rey to leave due to her lack of conversation skills or the understandable excuse she gave him. Any other day or time he would have pressed for more details, however Ben did not have the energy to do so. Not to mention he knew foster parents had the right to turn away any child, for any circumstance with any explanation. Unfortunate at times, but necessary and true.

“Should I tell her?” Mrs. Thomason offered, guilt shadowed on her long face.

“No,” Ben said, “I can do it. I am her caseworker.”

Relief flooded the woman, she nodding appreciatively. “Thank you so much.” Stepping away, she let him take the reins over the situation.

Over the last few months, Ben never had to move one of his cases from one home to another. Most of the kids he received already were placed in homes they’d been living at for a couple of years, and his most recent case was transitioning back to living with a parent after foster care, another ballpark entirely.

He never had to explain to a kid why they needed to move when they did virtually nothing wrong.

Somehow it was fitting for the first to be Rey.

Her arm was free from the cast, if not slightly discolored from lack of sunlight. From what he knew, Rey enjoyed the outdoors, still running around and playing outside as she grew older. He heard from his uncle she had it removed a couple of weeks prior, thankfully with little lip and fuss from the twelve year old.

“Hey Rey,” Ben greeted as neutrally as possible. He move to the cushion beside her, taking an apprehensive seat. “Can we shut off the TV for a moment?” He was already reaching for the remote before she could answer. This girl was clever and gentle tactics were probably not the best methods for this situation. Ripping it off like a band-aid seemed to be the best option considering Rey’s no nonsense attitude.

Curiously, she looked up from her homework—math and by the looks of it algebra. Her bright hazel eyes scanned him for a moment, she registering who he was after a second. Scrutinizing him, she turned back to her problem set.

“I’m moving again, aren’t I?” she asked simply as she finished the equation.

“Yeah, kid,” Ben sighed. “You’ll need to get your things—”

“I know,” she interjected, shoving her math homework into her binder. All her school supplied were thrown into her backpack in a slop disarray.

“I can help—”

“ _No_ ,” she muttered, not angry nor sad, just accepting.

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, holding a hand out for her backpack. “At least let me get your school stuff together and you can get your stuff from the room.”

A defeated huff escaped the girl, she relinquishing her purple backpack to Ben.

Standing in the doorway, Mrs. Thomason watched on, moving to the side as Rey stood past her.

“Rey, sweetie I—”

The girl was up the stairs before Mrs. Thomason could finish her sentence.

She looked back at Ben, lost. “I didn’t mean to…” she gestured to the ceiling where Rey could be heard moving around. “I just _can’t_ right now.”

Ben smiled sadly, standing up. “I know, and you aren’t at fault. Things happen,” he explained, complacent despite the disappointment and aggravation he felt building in the pits of his chest. “We’ll be going soon, once she’s done packing and then you can say your goodbyes.”

Mrs. Thomason nodded mutely, eyes filled with unshed tears. Quietly, she excused herself for a moment.

Ben realized as he heard Mrs. Thomason shuffle about the kitchen for a tissue, sometimes good people had to make difficult decisions and live with those choices.

 

* * *

 

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Rey mumbled from his passenger seat. “I was good.”

They’d been on the road for a few minutes, the agency’s offices about thirty minutes away from her latest foster home. She been quiet during the goodbyes, giving a mechanical hug to Mrs. Thomason and sat in his car with little argument. He placed her duffle bag and backpack in the car truck with a heavy heart, not knowing where the kid would be placed once they got to the offices.

“I know you were good,” Ben assured her, refraining to make a comment on her lack of communication with Mrs. Thomason. Rey was relatively a quiet girl, Ben recognizing her silence as a self-preservation tactic. If she didn’t bond and connect, _talk_ , then she couldn’t be emotionally wounded when she inevitably left. “But sometimes these things happen—”

“But I was good, and if I’m good then she wouldn’t want to give me up,” Rey argued, sounding frustrated for the first time since Ben came to pick her up. “I mean…that’s why all the others gave me up… because I wasn’t good.” Her words were mumbled, but Ben heard her clearly.

He knew he track record; it was all on file. A serial runaway, got into fights at school, talked back. To someone who didn’t know the kid, the only highlight about her profile was her academics. Most kids in the foster system fell behind in schooling, yet Rey was a year ahead. He didn’t quite understand this anomaly, but he had a feeling the girl was far smarter than she let on.

In the passenger seat, Rey curled in on herself, leaning her head against the window. She threw her hood on, her oversized navy blue hoodie swallowing most of her form from sight.

Ben glanced at her, a frown tugging on his lips.

He focused back on the road, knowing even if he tried to explain the situation to Rey, she wouldn’t listen.

 

* * *

 

“We think we found a family,” Skywalker mentioned as Ben stepped into his office, “But we need to double check the space, see if they actually do have room for one more kid. So it’ll take a day or two.”

“Alright.” Ben nodded, feeling a twinge of relief at the news.

“For now,” Luke handed him a form, with the name and address at the top, “she is going to stay here for the night.”

“Unkar Plutt?” Ben frowned at the name. He knew the name came up on a couple of his cases files. Usually a foster parent kids stayed at for a short periods of time, mostly for transitions.

A yelp then came from the door, followed by a familiar head of brown hair ducking from the cracked doorway.

Skywalkers sighed, lips pursed in disappointment. “Rey—what have I told you about listening in on private conversations?”

“ _It’s rude_ ,” came her small voice from the other side of the door.

Heading to the door, Ben rolled his eyes at his uncle’s reprimanding. He opened the door wide, allowing the guilty looking girl to come into the office.

Her eyes darted between Ben and Luke, unable to decide if she wanted to shrink from their awaiting gazes or stand strong against their rather patient forces.

Chin held high, she made her decision. “I don’t want to go to Plutt’s.”

Luke rubbed his face with a groan. “Rey—”

“He is mean and awful, and he makes us scrub the floor and one time he left me alone to find car pieces in a junk yard—”

Ben blinked at this sudden rapid fire outcry from Rey. From their few interactions he never knew the girl to display fear or confident distrust, yet it shined uncomfortably true as she spoke of this Plutt.

Her bright, frightened eyes then fixated on Ben, a small hand clutching his forearm for dear life. “ _Please_ Ben, don’t make me go to Plutt’s,” she begged.

Feeling the pressure and need to protect the kid, he turned to his uncle with his decision already forming in his mind.

“Uncle she’s freaking out—”

Luke shook his head, sending Rey a stern look. “Rey has been to Plutt’s before and she has been fine—”

“No I haven’t been fine!” She shouted back. Rey then turned to Ben and said much quieter, as though remembering herself, “I haven’t been fine there.” Her had squeezed his arm pleadingly. “ _Please Ben_.”

Looking away from those frightened and watering hazel eyes, he looked back at his uncle. “Can’t you find another place?”

“There is no other place for tonight,” Luke insisted, eyes harsh as he watched him and Rey carefully. He shook his head, moving to sift through his other files. “Unless you want to stay here the entire night watching her as she sleeps here, there is no other option.”

Rey’s arm fell from his arm at Luke’s less than pleasant ultimatum.

Ben knew what he had to do.

“Fine,” he said, voice clear. “I’ll stay the night watching her.”

 

* * *

 

“Here you go,” Ben handed Rey a fresh pillow he found in the linen closet in the waiting room.

He was aware the second floor waiting room cubicles were reserved for some kids who had to stay overnight at the offices, though he never had been in there himself. Until now.

He went to the poorly cushioned chair in the corner of the cramped cubical, sitting down. He groaned with relief once off his feet; he’d been out and about all day, checking in on families, getting a new kid placed in the morning, and finally ending his day with Rey’s situation. 

While he wasn't necessarily excited to be spending the majority of the night awake and in a less than comfortable chair, Ben did not mind considering the alternative. At least he could see Rey was safe and calm; that's all he really wanted. 

On the cot, Rey watched him, her legs tucked under her chin. She changed into more comfortable clothes in the hall restroom before returning to the sleeping bag and cot.

“You didn’t have to do this,” she said into the sleeping bag, but her eyes remained on him. “My other caseworkers usually left me with Plutt.”

Ben raised his head up from his slump, his eyes meeting Rey’s. “I’m not going to leave you with Plutt unless I absolutely _have_ to leave you with Plutt,” he smiled tiredly. “Which won’t happen. I promise.”

She didn’t smile at his words, only blinking at him. “Oh…” she rubbed her eyes, laying down. She tucked the sleeping bag under her chin. “Thank you, Ben.”

“No problem, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is a good dude. He'll always be a good dude to Rey...to others...well lets not get ahead of ourselves.
> 
> If I checked right, foster families can have kids in their care removed immediately for any reason, which then sometimes leaves everyone else on the team in a sticky situation with placement.


	3. Three Strikes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this ended up being like a full chapter.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey was okay with the Shaun's for the first couple of months.

 

 

The Shaun’s were well seasoned foster parents, with nearly fifteen years of experience. One kid of their own and two other foster kids. Furthermore, the family lived within the school district and Rey didn't have to switch middle schools. A rare blessing Ben did not frown upon. Not to mention, Ben did not feel like he was ripping a limb off when he dropped Rey off at their house—another quiet win for him.

"Don't worry," Raymond Shaun assured him as Rey got settled upstairs, "This isn't our first rodeo."

"I'm just letting you know, she can be a bit of a spit-fire, but she's a good kid. Likes learning, playing outside," Ben explained. "She just doesn't have the best track record, and has a tendency to run away when she's a little frustrated."

Raymond nodded in understanding, as though hearing all this before. Soon his wife, Sarah Shaun, joined them.

"The other girls are showing her around," she announced as she went about the kitchen, putting the kettle on the stove. “And we understand runways,” she said as she turned on the burner. “It happens more often than you’d think.”

Ben didn’t argue with the true statement.

“And we have a system when it comes to runaways,” Raymond further elaborated. “Three attempts and then they are out, because if the kid is still running away and for the _third_ time, they are never going to want to be here.”

Ben hummed in understanding, not trusting himself to speak in the moment. He appreciated the gesture of their little system, Ben could not help but believe they were speaking such an event into existence. Placing Rey here would be a ticking time-bomb—he wouldn’t know when she’d try to run off, but it felt almost inevitable with her tendencies.

However, the kid didn’t make a run away attempt with Mrs. Thomason. She tried to be good that go around…

Sensing his apprehension, Sarah cleared her throat, “We just want what’s best for everyone in the house. I’m sure we won’t have to make that decision with Rey.”

“I hope so,” Ben found himself wishing to agree.

Soon enough the rest of the Shaun’s came down, chatting happily with one another. Naturally Ben’s caught sight of Rey, trailing behind the talkative girls. She seemed smaller amongst them despite being taller than the rest of the blondes surrounding her. Dread filled Ben, already aware of how Rey purposely alienated herself as the other children attempted to reel her into their conversation.

She didn’t smile, only nodding and humming in agreement when appropriate.

Watching her from the corner of his eye, Ben hoped Rey would come out of her shell to at least try to be friends with the other children in the house. It’s be a favor to both of them.

Once the remaining information and forms were settled between himself and the Shaun’s, Ben decides to leave, not wanting to over stay his welcome and acutely remembering the unfiled paperwork sitting on his desk.

Though he hesitated. Instead of departing, he pulled Rey aside, smiling kindly to the Shaun’s. They take their cue, letting Ben and the kid have a moment alone to say goodbye. A short goodbye—he’d be checking in on her in three weeks—but a goodbye nonetheless.

Rey watches him with a sense of understanding betrayal, a look he was familiar with but one he would never become accustom to no matter how many homes he’d place her in.  She knows this is the nature of the system, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.

He heard an earful the previous day of her distaste for the systems order and ways.

He not so subtly agreed with her.

It was alright, no one else was around to listen and scold.

Ben took a knee before her, a little shorter than her, but able to meet her gaze comfortably. “The Shaun’s have my contact info, okay?”

She nodded, lips pursed.

“And they are nice—did checks on them and everything, like I promised.”

It took a little more than a couple of days to get this family to take her and be at least a smidge confident in his decision. After meeting the couple, he was more than confident.

Rey was his only concern…

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small, folded piece of paper. He held it firmly in the space between them.

Locking his eyes with her, her bright hazel eyes sharply curious. Glancing over to where the Shaun’s had left, Ben dropped his voice. “This has my number and email—and can only be used for _emergencies_ ,” he stressed. “I don’t want another Plutt situation, _okay_?”

Rey nodded furiously, snatching the paper from his hand. She tucked it in her pocket, her hand placed firmly over where it was hidden.

“Okay. Only for emergencies,” she repeated, her brows knitted together with determination.

Setting a hand on her shoulder, he squeezed lightly. “Please _try_ with this one, like you did with Mrs. Thomason. They are good people and they honestly want you to feel comfortable here.”

A dejected sigh escaped the girl, but she agreed. “Fine…I’ll try.”

“Good.” Ben stood up, patting her shoulder lightly. “I’ll see you in couple of weeks, kid.”

As he made his leave, prepared to call out a goodbye to the Shaun’s, Ben felt the wind knocked out of him from Rey’s sheer force. Lithe arms wounding around his middle, the girl burying her facing into his lower chest.

Ben froze, arms hanging in the air.

His chest constricts for a moment—

A fleeting ridiculous thought hits him. He can take her in; be her foster parent so she wouldn’t look at him with those large, scared and betrayed eyes every time he left her somewhere or came for his visits. She could be safe and fine with him and—

Ben shoved the notion away. He was fucking twenty-two and he knew jackshit about taking care of a kid, let alone a preteen. He only knew what his required child development and psychology classes told him, and he personally did not believe it was enough on most days.

She’d only been his case for less than five months and he was already thinking about keeping the damn kid like she was a puppy.

Exhaling, Ben patted her head. “Like I said, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

Extracting herself from him, Rey took a step back, arms crossed over her chest. “Bye Ben,” she muttered. In a flourish, she charged back around to the dinning room where the rest of the family had been setting up for dinner.

Ben left before he could second guess his decision.

 

* * *

 

It was during month four did Ben receive a harrowing phone call.

He was out to Sunday brunch with his mother ( “You never answer my calls! I need to at least know you are not drowning in casework, Ben.” As his mother loved to remind him whenever he showed up on her doorstep at 10AM on the dot.)

“Rey is missing,” Sarah Shaun’s voice came through the phone. “One of the girls mention they heard some moving in the middle of the night. They didn’t think anything of it, but she wasn’t in her bed this morning—”

Growing up, Ben always heard stories of how someone’s world stopped turning or their heart stopped when they heard the most unimaginable circumstances come true.

In the moment, he finally understood what those stories meant…because he felt as though he was either going to go into blind rage or blackout from the information.

“—Raymond is calling the police,” Sarah continued to explain, her voice verging on frantic. “But we thought it best to call you first too since it seems like you two are close and might know where she ran off to.”

“Yes, yes—of course,” Ben said, his voice sounding far away. He stood up, dropping the napkin on his lap on to the table.

His mother sent him a concerned look, getting up to follow him. Hastily, he waved her away.

“I will be on my way right now, she couldn’t have gotten too far.” The lie tumbled from his lips easily. He knew Rey’s file; the last time she ran away, she was able to get to the other side of town and that was in just four hours.

She was already gone for up to _seven_ hours…who knew where she could have gone at this point.

He hung up the phone, giving quick apologies to his mother as he explained the situation.

She sighed exasperatedly on his behalf. “Runaways are always the worst, Ben.” She been a caseworker for a short time before verging into other non-profit work. Needless to say, she wasn’t completely on board with his career path, but supported him the best she knew how—feeding him and giving an ear to listen. “Couldn’t Luke have given you an easier case?”

“Rey’s not a bad kid,” Ben defend, feeling like a broken record. “She isn’t…she just runs off sometimes. She always comes back.”

As he shrugged on his leather jacket, he mentally started making a list of all the places to check.

A pitiful tsk came from his mother, she standing up to also grab her coat. She’d join him, never one to turn down a search party. “I know, son. But with runaways…there will be a day they _don’t_ come back.”

Ben flinched, the words stinging like lighter spark.

“Not Rey,” he said simply, heading out the door, his mother on his heels.

 

* * *

 

_Thirty minutes._

Thirty minutes was all it took to find her.

She was at the public library downtown, sitting under the wheelchair ramp. Her backpack was open with a pack of _Oreos_ and a _Nesquik_ Chocolate Milk peeking out.

Not that she was hidden in plain sight—of course not.

No, the wheelchair ramp was hidden by a cacophony of unruly lavender rose bushes. One had to actively be looking through the bushes or walking up said wheelchair ramp to see the girl. Dressed in her hoodie and reading her book—To Kill a Mockingbird—she looked like an other pedestrian. Not the kid the police force, a good handful of caseworkers were looking for all across town.

Ben want to cry and scream.

Naturally, he chose the latter.

“ _What the hell, Rey?_ ”

She perked up at the sound of her name. Looking up at the source of the voice, she shrunk sheepishly.

“Hi…” she greeted slowly, undoubtedly knowing she was in deep shit.

Ignoring the looks sent his way, he hopped the railing, landing firmly on the other side. Mud and dead leaves littered the ground, the area cramped and cave-like. He wanted to reach under the ramp and yank her out, give her the largest scolding of her life but decided it against it once he finally saw her up close.

From her corner, Rey blinked up at him, surprised.

Not afraid…just _surprised_. Possibly shocked he found her.

None of her previous caseworkers had much luck finding her when she ran off.

Then again, none of her other caseworkers asked about her interests and her favorite places in town.

Calmly, she shut her book and placed it in neatly in her backpack. She crawled out from under ramp, shrugging her backpack onto her shoulders.

“Ben I—”

He pulled her into a tight hug, the rest of her words drowned out in the leather of his jacket. Within seconds, he pulled away, his eyes meeting hers sternly.

“I thought I told you to try.”

She didn’t respond, her lips down turning. Her eyes dropped to her scuffed and muddy shoes, digging them deeper into the mud.

“I _asked_ you to try,” Ben reminded her.

Lips twisted to the side cruelly, she met his eye fearless and knowing.

“I guess you have to place me somewhere else.”

Ben quirked a brow.

Huh.

That’s how she was going to try and play it. Well, then she was in for a shock of her life.

“No, you’re going back to the Shaun’s.” Her jaw dropped, eyes wide in utter disbelief. “They want you back believe it or not, scavenger.”

“Don’t call me that!” she growled up at him.

“Where’d you get your snacks?”

She fell silent, still glaring.

“That’s what I thought.”

He grabbed her bicep and led her out of the bushes, she following along with heavy steps.

“Call the police, Mom. We found her!”

 

* * *

 

They parted on less than pleasant terms.

She didn’t respond to the Shaun’s hugs and cries, nor did she react to the relief of her foster siblings.

Instead she remained despondent…except towards _him_.

Towards him she out right glared.

And Ben accepted it.

“I was surprised she liked you for as long as she did,” his mom said as a thinly veiled compliment. “Not many kids do.”

He tired not to think he lost Rey’s trust.

 

* * *

 

About seven months into Rey’s stay with the Shaun’s, she ran off.

 _Again_.

The police were called— _again_.

And the Shaun’s called him, less frantic and more perturbed.

They thought the first time was just to get it out of her system.

Now the second time felt like a personal offense to the couple.

Half awake, Ben drove through the streets of her middle school’s neighborhood. He got the call around 1AM, stumbling through his apartment to get a sweater on, not caring if he showed up in his pajamas.

Going about half the speed limit, he watched the soccer field like a hawk.

Rey had recently joined the middle schools soccer team. He went to one game and stood in the back, hoping she wouldn’t see him amongst the crowd.

A small shadow danced under the bleachers.

 _Bingo_.

Pulling up the curb, Ben put the car in park. He shut off the car and dashed out to the chain-link fence.

There wasn’t an opening on any of the sides and it was padlocked.

She must have climbed over it.

Groaning into his hands, Ben got the nerve to climb over the fence and trespass on school property. He’d jumped his fair share of fences growing up, but never anything taller than himself.

Biting his lip, he gripped the chain-link and scaled it with some stumbling. Once over the top, the thick wire jabbed his side. Though it provided little damage, Ben groaned again in pain.

He needed to get back into shape—this was a wake-up call.

With only a couple feet between himself and the ground, Ben jumped the rest of the way down.

A shuffling of feet came from behind him. Turning around, Ben saw Rey peeking her head out from under the bleachers.

She wasn’t surprised this go around. A frown firmly planted on her lips, she glared.

“Go away,” she ordered.

“No can do,” Ben walked over to where she stood. He leaned against the supporting beam, eyes narrowing on her. “Rey—no matter what you say, you are going back.”

“No,” she grumbled, plopping down on the floor. Angrily, she ripped at the grass beneath her. “I don’t want to go back.”

“Are you in danger with the Shaun’s?” Ben implored.

“No.”

He crouched down beside her, observing her pinched brows carefully. “Then why are you running away—”

“I’m _not_ running away,” she interjected, yanking more grass from the ground. “I was planning on coming back in the morning, so no one would notice.”

“Why run off at all?”

“Because I fucking hate it there—”

“Whoa!” Ben exclaimed, eyebrows surging up. “Language.”

She rolled her eyes. “Like you don’t mutter that word to yourself ten times a day.”

He flushed at her astute observation.

Clearing his throat, he joined her ripping out the grass. “Why do you hate it?”

“I just do.”

“There has to be a reason.”

She huffed, twisting a particular handful viciously. “I don’t like the other girls in the house.” She sneered. “They’re little bitches.” Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, refraining from scolding her again. “They call me gross names,” she mumbled.

“Like what?”

“Like…crack-baby.”

Ben prepared himself for some middle school name calling bullshit…he did not expect this.

“Did…did you tell them about your parents?” he asked quietly. He and Rey never talked about her parents, though he knew her to be aware of their crimes and addictions. While the subject was never within their conversations, he did not know if she shared this information with anyone else.

Rey shook her head.

A tiny sniffle came from her. With a quick hand, she wiped away any tears before they could fall down her face.

“I think the Shaun’s told them…” She squirmed, folding her legs to her chest. “I don’t think they did it to cause problems…but _yeah_.”

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Ben thumped a nonsensical beat on the ground as he thought over the situation.

For the lack of better understanding, Rey was getting bullied by her foster siblings… but he didn’t believe he necessarily had grounds to move her to another home with those circumstances. She could always bring it up with the Shaun’s, yet it seemed unlikely due to the lack of trust building every second between Rey and her foster parents.

Unless…

“The Shaun’s have their own personal policy,” Ben began, his tone firm and serious. Rey sat up, knowing to pay attention when Ben spoke to her like this—he was going to say something important, and she needed to listen carefully, “They have a three strikes rule when it comes to runaways. Run away three times and you have to leave.” He looked up at the beams, telling himself this was the right thing to do even though it went against everything he was supposed to do concerning placements. “If you _happen_ to run away again…you’ll have to place somewhere else.”

Her eyes widened, a gleeful grin brightening her face. “Are you telling me—”

“ _I’m not telling you anything_ ,” Ben rushed out, his blood pounding in his ears. “I’m just letting you know, if you run away again, the Shaun’s won’t want you there anymore.”

“Oh.” She smirked. “Okay!”

He exhaled; she understood what he was implying. He didn’t have to spell it out to her.

“Now let’s get the hell out of here before I fucking freeze to death,” he declared, earning a good natured shake of the head from her.

“I told you,” she said under her breath, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “You curse all the time.”

In silence, the two trekked back to his car, Ben convincing himself he was doing the right thing.

 

* * *

 

About ten months with the Shaun’s, Rey ran away again.

Ben found her up in a tree at the local park less than four blocks away from the Shaun’s.

“Mr. Solo, you know our rule,” Sarah Shaun reminded him, no remorse or regret in her tone. “She has to go.”

“I understand,” Ben said with his best poker face.

In less than a thirty minutes, Rey packed up her belongings and placed them in his car. She didn’t bother with goodbyes, merely going to the passenger seat and waiting for him.

“We tried,” Raymond said tiredly, “But she wouldn’t listen to us when we brought up the running away.”

“She’s a stubborn one,” Ben said, his lips twitching. “Thank you for what you could do.”

He left them behind, walking back to his car.

Rey sat in the passenger seat, hood up as she read a book— _A Wrinkle in Time_. She was calm and unguarded, a rare sight.

He was doing the right thing.

_He must have been doing the right thing…right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Ben *shakes head* you will probably do anything for that girl. Which is both great and not so great.
> 
> Some important things and ideas were introduced this chapter! Like Leia and Rey's family. 
> 
> Also to keep the timeline straight--Ben at this point has been Rey's caseworker for a little over a year. So she is thirteen and he is twenty-three.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	4. From One Home to Another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Another chapter? 
> 
> Yeah, this is what happens when things are prewritten and I lack some self-control.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy!

After the Shaun’s it was difficult to keep Rey in one place for a couple of months, and it wasn’t _entirely_ her fault.

 

 

In October, the office had budget cuts, their usual grant a little smaller than expected in the incoming year which meant—unfortunately—less caseworkers hired.

In other words, Ben was drowning in cases. And not only him, all his co-workers as well, leading to more bargaining and discussions between caseworkers for placements and cases.

“I feel like I never sleep,” Poe Dameron announced one late night, filing paperwork. He shared a half wall of Ben’s cubical, the two able to see each other if sitting up in their chairs. The two were not really friends but companions through circumstance.  After all, no one understood the job like someone deep in the water with it. “It’s like one kid after another; they are starting to blend together to be perfectly honest.”

Dameron’s most recent case was an infant, with a family that was interested in adopting. Nothing too out of the norm for the man, who’d been consistently given infant and toddlers to manage. For some reason, kids liked Dameron, who was able to make up stories on the spot and always had candy in his pocket to give to a crying child.

Poe Dameron was a wizard when it came to crying kids. It fucking annoyed Ben to no end when he could barely keep one his cases from breaking into a meltdown when dropping them off at a placement, let alone have them adore him.

“They don’t blend for me,” Ben muttered, closing Finn Storms file. He was a good kid, a little anxious, but _good_. Never caused problems and had only switched homes twice, both instances out of his control. He’d been in Ben’s caseload for a couple of years, one of his firsts, and trusted Ben enough to keep an watchful eye.

The kid would age out of the system in two years, which didn’t seem to be a problem as Ms. Katana wanted to adopt the boy and had already begun the process.

“I know the Finn’s from the Rey’s,” he said quietly. He needed to leave soon and grab a late dinner, maybe get a couple of hours of sleep. Meetings and calls filled his morning tomorrow and Ben needed to be somewhat coherent.

“But come on, Rey’s like your kid now,” Poe insisted. Ben opened his mouth to argue, but his co-worker beat him to the punch. “We all know who she is, here practically every few months for a new placement,” he squinted at Ben curiously, rocking on the back of his chair. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was doing it on purpose to just spend time with you.”

Ben snorted. “Because thirteen year old girls like to hang out with their caseworkers.”

Dameron shrugged, “I don’t know what goes on in some of these kids heads and I don’t I ever want to find out.” He then stood up, grabbing his coat. “Well I’m going out, getting some drinks with friends. Need to forget today,” he said with a huff.

He called out a goodbye to Ben, not bothering to extend an invite. Not surprising; Ben rejected enough invites to drinks and dinner from his colleagues, no one bothered anymore. Not that he minded; he preferred to go home, spend some time with dog and watch reruns of _Seinfeld_ on a week night.  

God, when did his life become his fucking job and nothing else?

 

* * *

 

 

Rey’s first fall semester of school was already coming to an end, with soccer practice in full swing and exams coming up in the last two weeks of school before winter break.

And that’s why Ben felt like shit when he showed up at the Tico’s home to retrieve Rey.

After leaving the Shaun’s, Rey was shuffled around for three months before landing in her next long term stay; the Tico’s.

Rey with the Tico’s… _a match made in heaven_.

Rey absolutely _loved_ the Tico’s and they adored her. The couple had initially indicated they wanted an infant or toddler, the house feeling a little empty with their eldest child off to college. With every visit Ben made, Rey was _talkative_ and spoke highly of her foster sister Rose. The two girl’s were joined at the hip, laughing and giggling whenever around each other. Apparently both girl’s liked robotics and math, sharing both classes at their school. The Ticos were supportive, taking her to all her games and encouraging her to pursue what she loved. Anyone with eyes could see how they enjoyed having Rey in their home, letting Ben know on countless occasions how they’d keep her as long as he’d let them have her.

However, this wasn’t his decision.

This was Skywalker’s decision.

A new kid in their offices—a toddler—and the Tico’s were one of the families in their system willing to take in a toddler for possibly an indefinite time. Which meant Rey was leaving…again.

“She can handle another move,” Skywalker insisted. “Rey is a strong girl.”

Ben scoffed. “Doesn’t matter how fucking strong of a kid she is—we are uprooting her life.”

Skywalker raised an eyebrow. “You know this happens sometimes. Maybe you should reevaluate your career if you are this upset.”

He bristled at the comment, though remained firm. “She likes the Ticos.”

“Many kids like many homes, but there is nothing I can do until I can get more foster homes in the system—you have to make accommodations, _immediately_.” Skywalker’s tone left little room for argument.

Within the hour, Ben found himself outside the Tico’s home, shaking with anger and regret. He already called the couple, letting them know he was on his way. They’d been disheartened by the news, but understanding. A better reaction than some parents.

He just did not expect Rey to answer the door when he showed up.

“Rey—”

“No,” she said shaking her head frantically. “I like it here. I want to stay here!”

“I know,” Ben said tiredly, “I know you want to stay. _I_ want you to stay here too,” his hands rested on her shoulder, a blanket of comfort for her growing franticness. “But there was nothing I could do.”

“Try harder,” she declared darkly, mouth twisted. Her eyes filled with unshed tears. “You can try _harder_. I know you can.”

“Rey, I already did all I can to keep you here, but I simply don’t have control over all these matters,” he explained as monotonous as he could. She didn’t need to know how her words dug into him and marked him with shame he did not need to bare.

“Why?” she croaked.

Ben did not know what the question begged—why she was leaving, why he did not have control…or just simply why she needed to endure this again and again.

Answers fell short and Ben remained silent. She fell into his form as tears began to take over her, Ben holding her close as she cried.

From the window, he could see Mr. and Mrs. Tico watching with heavy hearts. He smiled sadly at the couple as he rested a warm hand on the top of Rey’s head. Her chestnut hair was pulled in a funky braid, one that would make his mother proud, though it was poorly executed. Strands fell around her face, her burring as close as she could to his chest making more hair fall from the braid.

He briefly wondered if his mother would ever consider being a foster parent. She’d love a kid like Rey and she’d finally be able to teach someone all the braids and hair-dos her adoptive mother taught her growing up.

However, Ben knew it was unlikely. Leia did not like being a caseworker, though she still gave to numerous organizations under her adoptive parents name. Her soft spot for foster care never faded, though she would not easily throw herself back into the chaos.

Sniffling, Rey pulled away from Ben. A damp spot remained on his light blue button-up. He did not mind nor comment on her tears, simply ushering her back into the house to collect her things.

Packing was a slow process, Rose helping Rey by folding each piece of clothing with care.

Mrs. Tico approached him as the girls spoke in hushed tones to each other. “Is there any way she can come for Christmas?” she asked kindly. “We’ve already made plans thinking she’d be here with us—nothing big, just a family dinner and presents. Both of our girls and ourselves would appreciate it and would do anything to help if it is a hassle.”

If there was one thing Rey deserved, it was a decent Christmas.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Ben assured her. “Her next placement has been assigned yet, it’s been a little hectic back at the office. But I’ll do what I can, even if I have to drive her myself.”

A relived smile bloomed from her. Ben stumbled as Mrs. Tico brought him in for a quick and rough hug, she patting his arms as she pulled away.

“Thank you so much,” she said. “You have no idea what this means.”

Goodbyes were rough, though hopeful. The Ticos assured Rey she’d always have a home with them even as she was placed else where and gave her their number. The girls promised to meet once back at school, the one subject of their life not changing with Rey’s move. They’d still be friends, Ben had no doubts on the matter.

As they drove away from the Ticos, Rey sat on the furthest corner of her seat, her torso turned away from him. The fourteen year old sighed as she leaned her head against the window, eyes calculating as they left the suburbs back into the heart of Chandrila’s downtown.

“I thought I was going to stay with them forever,” she mumbled. “It’s the longest I stayed with anyone,” then rolled her eyes, “besides the Shauns. They don’t count.”

Ben refrained a snort at her palpable distaste for the Shauns. “I thought so too, kid.”

“I’m not going to stay with anyone forever am I?” she asked, sitting back against her seat. She looked over at Ben, eyes red from ebbing tears. “Families want babies or toddlers. They want little kids.” A dejected sigh left her lips. “They don’t want fourteen year olds.”

“Someone out there wants you,” Ben said, his voice soft. “I can bet a million dollars—”

“You don’t have a million dollars. I know your paycheck.”

He refrained from letting her know his family did indeed have _millions_ , though it was not the time nor place. And it also wasn’t technically his to touch. “If I had a millions dollars, I’d bet someone out there wants you.”

“Then where the hell is this person?” she inquired. When Ben didn’t respond, she harrumphed, arms crossed. “That’s what I thought.”

Ben pursed his lips, waiting for a red light to turn green. “The world is not against you Rey; you’re just in a shitty situation and it will get better.” His words fell upon deaf ears, Rey not accepting his forced optimism—if it even could be called _optimism_. More like a well-rehearsed script Rey did not have the patience to listen to anymore.

“Well, it sure feels like it is a never ending shitty situation,” she declared. Seeing the office building up ahead, she sat up straighter. “Let me guess—I’m staying the night in the office?”

“Yeah,” he set the car in park, “at least until I get the next placement.”

She nodded, knowing the drill. After the first time, it wasn’t unusual for Ben to have her stay in the office when they waited on a placement. He’d prefer it over Plutt or anything of the likes.

“And I’m picking up take-out for dinner since we will both be office bound. Your pick,” he informed her.

Her lips twitched, less hostile for an instant. Then it went away, back to her stoicism and eyebrows furrowed.

“Chinese, please,” she decided before hopping out of the car and to the trunk. Watching for the review mirror, Ben made a mental note to call his mother.

Maybe she could help him out with this situation.

 

* * *

 

“ _No_.”

“But Mom—”

“Ben, I said ‘no’,” Leia repeated over the phone. “I am not even certified.”

“You know people in high places who’d have it done in less than twenty-four hours.”

His mother tsked on the other end, knowing her son was right. Her name got her into enough places and earned the respect of numerous government officials and non-profits. Practically a saint in the eyes of the Chandrila Downtown Association, Leia was known to aid several education and work force programs. She was all for providing help where it was needed…unless it was her son. In that case, ‘no’ meant ‘no’.

“I don’t work in foster care anymore.” Her excuse did not hold up, Ben knowing she donated to several group homes and would help with caseloads when needed. Her brother was Luke Skywalker for crying out loud—she never left, her handprints all over their offices.

“I’m not asking you to be a foster parent forever,” Ben said with an eyeroll, “I am just asking you to take Rey in for the end of the semester and holidays. She’d be gone before the spring semester and you won’t have to do this again unless it is an absolute emergency.”

Silence fell over the line. Ben thought she hung up—it wouldn’t be the first time—until a grave sigh came from his mother.

“Fine. I’ll see what I can do. I can probably have this all sorted before tonight.”

“Thank you, Mom,” Ben rushed out, hearing footsteps coming around the hall.

“You will thank me with more visits—”

“Alright, alright, bye.” More aggravated words came from her as he hung up, not wanting the rest of the office privy to his conversation. Begging his mother for help at work did a number on reputation and he did not want to loose what little he did have.

Dameron rounded the corner, though who he was with stopped Ben in his tracks. His co-worker was chatting with a wide eyed Rey, the girl walking with him with an air of awkwardness yet in awe of the man speaking to her. Naturally, Dameron was unaware of his effect on the girl.

“Solo, looks like your kid is here again,” he teased lightly, patting Rey on the shoulder.

She blinked dumbly at the gesture.

“Yeah, but not for long,” he shot back, his voice more gruff than he intended. “Don’t you have a baby to watch or something.”

Dameron shook his head, motioning to the door with the file in his hand. “Have a meeting with Skywalker over one of my cases.” He walked away with a grin, though he turned around and called back to the girl. “Lovely to see you, Rey.”

Oddly enough, she didn’t blush, merely frowning at the man.

“Is he always like that?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“It’s annoying as hell,” she muttered.

Ben laughed, _genuinely laughed_ , at her comment. “You are not the first and not the last to think that.”

He noticed a small smile on her lips, though he did not comment on it. She was experience a rampage of emotions at the moment, leaving the Ticos and then sitting in limbo. He’d let her have her private moments of joy to herself.

Walking back to the waiting room, Rey peeked back up at him, struggling to find the words. She stopped and started a few times before asking, “Ben…why did he call me your kid?”

“Because you are on my caseload,” he said simply as he pressed the elevator button.

They watched as the each floor lit up as the lift descended to the ground floor.

“But…,” her jaw was set, arms crossed over her chest as she regarded him seriously, “would you ever want _me_ as your kid?”

Ben’s thought halted at the question.

 _What_?

He knew some kids got attached to their caseworkers, wanting them to adopt them or be their foster parent, but never thought it would be a concern with his caseload. He kept a healthy distance with most his kids, with trust and respect evident in most of his relationships. Half his caseload, of course, didn’t like him. Considered him the enemy and monster even when he tried to do what was best for them; however, children didn’t always understand this and wanted someone to blame. He was an easy target.

“I…uh…” he swallowed, the words playing over and over in his mind. “I don’t want kids.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve never wanted kids.”

She visibly deflated at his words.

“But you wouldn’t be _my_ kid if I was your foster parent or anything—not that I want to be a foster parent,” Ben said hurriedly. Rey big hazel eyes watched him with pensive attachment, unwavering in her anger and confusion. “You’d be like a sister or something,” he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pocket. “Like family, I guess. But…but not my kid.”

He peered down at her, Rey worrying her lower lip as she ruminated over his words.

The elevator dinged. They stepped into the lift, Ben pressing the second floor button.

As the doors closed, she glanced back at him, vague understanding in her eyes. “So…you wouldn’t be my parent…but you’d be my family?”

“Yeah…” he said, agreeing with her assessment.

“Then…can you be my family now?”

Another ding sounded from the elevator, the doors opening to the second floor.

“What do you mean by _now_?” he asked cautiously, leading her to the waiting room.

Overpowering his pace, she stepped right into his path, chin held high. “I mean, kind of like how the Tico’s said I always have a home with them,” her eyes shined full of hope, a rare sight in the angry and stubborn girl, “Do I always have a home with you?”

Opening the door to the waiting room for her, Ben consider his answer. He couldn’t make an empty promise—he couldn’t house her, be her family or anything pertaining to taking care of her beyond the limits of his job. He wouldn’t let himself cross that line between personal life and work, one he was already blurring with getting his mother in the mix.

“I’ll never have you go through this alone as long as I am around,” he responded thoughtfully.

Rey seemed to accept the answer, nodding slowly to herself. She entered the waiting room, beelining to her usual corner. She had finals to study for and moving placements was not going to through off her schedule.

Watching as she got settled, Ben’s cell phone buzzed.

**_ Mom _ **

**_Bring her by after 8. Everything should be in order by then._ **

 

* * *

 

“This isn’t the Chinese place,” Rey said as they pulled up to an apartment complex downtown. She glanced back at Ben. “Where are we?”

“Your placement for the time being,” he said, turning off the car. “Her name is Leia and she is doing me a massive favor by letting you stay here.” Getting out of the car, he went to the back and grabbed Rey’s belongings. As they walked up to the complex, he gave her back her backpack and locked the car.

Her eyes caught sight of the luxurious structure, she shrinking a little at the opulence of the lobby. High ceilings and mirrors consumed most of the entry way, the elevators located in the far back. Sensing her nervousness, Ben placed a warm hand on her shoulder, gently leading her through the lobby.

“Hello, young Master Solo!” the lobby manager, the aging and neurotic Mr. Threepio called out when Ben passed by. “What brings you back? Your mother did not mention you were stopping by—I must inform her—”

Begrudgingly, Ben greeted him back, hitting the elevator button more times than necessary as he spoke to the man. “Leia knows I am here and I have guest,” he answered as the elevator doors opened.

“Oh—Alright, young Master Solo! If there is anything you need, anything at all, please let me know. I am happy to provide service—”

Luckily the doors closed as the man continued to ramble, Rey stifling a laugh while a heavy sigh of relief escaped Ben. The lift had mirrors on all sides, framed by wood paneling, leaving no where to look but each other and themselves as they rode to the top floor.

“Is…is Leia your mother?” Rey asked. “Because that man mentioned your mother and then you said Leia, so…?” she implored, rocking on her heels.

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, eyes focused on the millennium old wood paneling. “Yes, she is—so I expect you to be on your best behavior with her.” He looked over at her, eyes stern and serious. “No running away, no hiding, no anything of the likes. If you have a problem—which I highly doubt would happen—,” Leia wasn’t one to tolerate bullshit and neither was Rey, they’d make fine companions in another life and this one. “Call me. I am actually giving you free reign to call me this time,” he said, the elevator dinging as they made it to the ninth floor.

He walked out, Rey trailing behind him, distracted by the long hall and its soft yellow light. They reached one of the few apartment’s on the level, Ben knocking twice on the cream door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” came his mother’s voice on the other side.

The door swung open moments later, Leia smiling brightly at the two.

“Welcome,” she said, kind brown eyes locking on Rey. His mother was either laying it on thick, or she genuinely wanted Rey to feel welcomed. Ben believed it was a bit of both, his mother far more compassionate than she let on.

The girl stood a bit behind Ben, refraining from taking a step forward.

“Come on, don’t be afraid, plenty of room inside and the Chinese was delivered less than ten minutes ago, it’s been waiting for you two.” The older woman stepped aside, motioning for Ben and Rey to enter.

Taking the lead, Ben ambled in, setting Rey’s belongings down and straight for the kitchen. Knick-knacks and mementos sat on the shelves of the living room as Ben walked by, catching sight of his graduation picture amongst some of her other memorabilia. However, most of the family photos were gone, probably put away to avoid unnecessary questions.

Behind him, he heard Rey shuffle in, Leia speaking candidly and jovially to the girl.

“Ben told me you like mushroom chicken, so I made sure to get extra. This house believes in take out and leftovers because I can’t cook for shit,” Leia said with a chuckle, Rey’s short snorts following half a second after. “Please, make yourself at home and ignore the dog hair, my husband came by earlier today and his dog does sheds like its going out of style. You’re not allergic to dogs are you?”

Ben stilled at the mention of his father. He hadn’t seen him in a good five years, and it looked like the streak was still standing.

“Uh, no. No, I’m not allergic. I love dogs,” Rey answered as she and Leia entered the kitchen. “I’ve always wanted one.”

Boxes of take-out containers littered the island, Ben starting to poke at his orange chicken with chopsticks.

“Ben don’t eat it all,” Leia scolded lightly, handing Rey a fork and a pair of chopsticks. “Some of us like to taste a little bit of everything and are not a behemoth.”

Ben rolled his eyes at the comment, setting down the orange chicken and serving himself chow mein. Slowly Rey joined in eating with gusto, her guard dropping as dinner progressed and Leia fell into easy conversation with the girl.

Once dinner was eaten and Leia showed Rey her room, Ben made way to take his leave.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be fine here,” Leia assured Ben as she walked him out. Rey was getting ready for bed, still planning on attending school the following day. “And I will be on time taking her to school and everything, you don’t need to call me.” She pulled him into a fierce hug, causing Ben to crouch for her. “ _I like her a lot more than I thought I would_ ,” she said, her voice low, only for him to hear.

Ben nodded, holding his mother for a moment longer. “She’s…she’s something alright.”

Leaning back, Leia smiled up at him. “Like I said, don’t worry—you look like your father when you do that,” Ben immediate schooled his face, mildly insulted by the comparison. “She’s with family now, Ben. I got this.” She winked, patting his arm. “Now go home, get some rest and I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He took her advice, stepping away from the front door.

Rey would be fine with his mother. More than fine; she’d finally have something she wanted from the beginning.

 _A home_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that we have experienced enough angst, we will have some heart warming chapters coming up :) Rest assured, this is not the last we see of the Ticos, nor the last time we will hear of Finn Storm, and Poe will of course will show up because who else will annoy Ben?
> 
> Other news: We will meet Han eventually. Promise.
> 
> Also, I know I probably took some liberties with this chapter but this is fanfic *shrugs* 
> 
> Rey will also not be moving again any time soon :)


	5. Living and Learning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A switch in POVs? Why yes indeed!
> 
> We finally get some of Rey's thoughts! Yay :)
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

Living with Leia was for the lack of better term… _interesting_.

There was never a dull day, Leia working from the crack of dawn to the late night. Early on Rey discovered Leia worked at the helm of an educational nonprofit downtown—her ‘main employment’— while also volunteering at other organizations. Understandably,  it was difficult to keep track of all the work Leia did, practically a new program was mentioned every morning when Leia briefed Rey on her schedule during breakfast. After a few weeks into living together, Rey decided she was too afraid to ask what all the organizations were for, tuning out once she heard the gist of Leia’s plans for the day.

That was also something new—Leia genuinely wanted to know Rey’s plans for the day and offered her assistance whenever needed. While the Tico’s were caring and spoke with Rey on a daily basis when she lived with them, however they never quite understood her interests. Football games and decathlon competitions were not something they were accustom to, Rose interested in engineering and Paige enamored with aviation. To have a child who actively sought out competitive extra curriculars was not the norm, thought they attempted to rise up to the challenge and support.

Leia, on the other hand, was all too familiar with competition.

And encouraged Rey with reckless abandon.

“I’m surprised you know so much about football,” Rey admitted as she took a seat next to Leia. The woman scooted over and handed Rey a small fleece blanket for her lap. December winter had set firmly into the air, the air brisk and sharp against their skin in the open field.

Sipping her water, Rey watched as Leia’s eyes were trained on the players warming up, running up and down the field. Normally, Rey would leave right after her game, the girls’ football JV team playing before the varsity match. However Leia suggested they stay to catch the game, see how the varsity team works from the outside.

Rey never thought much about watching the varsity team; they were older and far more skilled than a scrawny freshman like herself. It’d be at least a couple of years before she was moved up—if she was ever moved up to the upper division team. Contrary to Rey’s own belief, Leia reminded her some of the best learning comes from observing. Who better to observe than the team she desired to join one day?

“I wasn’t much of a soccer player,” Leia explained, “more of a softball gal. But Ben played soccer,” she said wistfully. A small smile ghosted her lips, as though lost in a faint memory. “He loved it, and he was good. Even got a scholarship and played ball in college.”

Rey frowned; Ben never mentioned his footie days. Not that he’d have a reason to…but she thought he’d at least tell her when she gabbed nonstop about her practices when he checked in on her.  

“I can see it,” Rey hummed under her breath. A wince squeaked out of her when one of the girls skidded across the muddy grass; thankfully she got right back up and went back on the offense. “Why didn’t he pursue it—if he was that good?”

Leia shrugged. “He was scouted, but didn’t want to do it in the end. Wanted to be a social worker,” she gave Rey a small smile, bringing her to her side, “and he doesn’t regret a moment of it.”

“Do you think he’d ever scrimmage with me? One on one?” Rey asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. Ben was massive—always a giant in her eyes, yet she believe with great effort she could take him. Never underestimate the sharp and scrappy ones.

“Maybe,” Leia reached over and adjusted the blanket on Rey’s lap. “It is freezing out here, I am surprised you are not an icicle yet,” she said with a chuckle.

Leia came to every game, even the away games despite the travel and the rush of winter hitting like a fright train. To Rey’s surprise, Leia would drag Ben out of the office and to a game or two, he bundled up in a jacket and beanie to fight the nippy air. It was almost comical to see the mother and son sit with one another on the bleachers, Leia tiny in comparison to her fully grown, adult son. Yet he still had a petulant frown, reminiscent of a broody teenager.

Rey often wondered what Ben was like as a teenager.

He’s always been the ‘adult’ in Rey’s mind. The large man who was like a teddy bear on the inside despite his relentless frown. For the last two years he’d been the one to chauffer her off from one family to the next, always hopeful in his quiet and steady way, a sharp contrast from the murmurs she heard from around his office. His co-workers often found him stuffy and hardass, as though he were trying to over compensate for something…

Maybe they didn’t quite understand Ben wanted the best for his cases and sometimes getting the best required being a hardass and stubborn in his decisions.

Living with Leia was informative on the Ben Solo front, giving the girl an insight to her caseworker she’d never been privy to in the past.

 

 

She learned Ben was a picky eater, liking very specific foods. Not that he wasn’t grateful or respectful of the food he was given, he was simply too transparent to lie or say contrary to his emotions.

“You sure you like it?” Leia would ask every time she ordered something more adventures than their usual routine of takeout.

“ _Yes_ —I like trying new food,” Rey confessed, taking another hefty bite of her gyro. Cucumber sauce smeared on her face. Sloppily she wiped the mess with the back of her hand, Leia unbothered by the sight.

Remembering her manners an instant too late, she sunk lower in her seat.

Leia’s hand then gently patted her arm.

“Sweetheart, Han Solo— _the messiest eater I have ever met_ —is my husband. You have nothing to worry about,” Leia assured her. “To be perfectly honest, Ben is half as bad, he only acts like he isn’t.”

Rey recalled several nights of takeout at the office with Ben, he dropping contents of an egg roll on his lap due to poor dining skills. With haste he dusted himself off and acted as though nothing happened, yet the red tinging the tips of his ears said otherwise.

She smirked at the thought, taking another large bite of her food.

 

 

Besides discovering his eating habits, Rey learned Ben was an avid reader—the bookshelves in her room bursting with hard cover, paperbacks, and leather bound books his from his adolescence.

When she asked Leia for permission to borrow a book to read, the older woman appeared surprised by the notion.

“Of course dear. They’re not my books, but I’m sure Ben wouldn’t mind if you read them. God knows he hasn’t touched anything in there since he moved out.”

Rey faltered for a moment; she did not realize the room was Ben’s upon moving in.

However now that she knew…the entire space felt like a mystery. A puzzle to solve—

_Who was Ben Solo?_

Picking up a well-worn book— _The Catcher in the Rye_ —Rey learned Ben Solo from his painstaking scrawl in the margins. He despised yet loved Holden Caulfield. Found him pretentious, underlining and commenting with his own variant of snark, black pen bleeding through the pages. Contrary to his palpable dislike in the earlier pages, the understanding of Holden’s emotions and entrapment we load as his words lessened and transformed into short phrased comments, despondent on the page.

Rey found herself not necessarily reading the books Ben decided to enhance with his colorful commentary, but skimming and skipping until she found his increasingly familiar scrawl. A part of her hoped she’d uncover the missing pieces of Ben she was never truly allowed to see, the parts he distinctly kept from her because she was his ‘case’…

Instead, she simply found the words of lost boy.

And her discovery did not make her feel better in the least.

Ben was an angry boy and emotional, but for what?

Rey could not place her finger on.

After all Ben appeared to have the loving mother she longed for all her life. Leia embodied everything Rey wanted in mother—teasing, supportive, compassionate. With a mother like that, Ben never had to experience the pangs of rejection like her, or seek for belonging. He had a home, yet every time he was with Leia it was like he had root-canal. Painful, awkward, and full of distaste. He respected her, although there was a distance between the mother and son. A distance neither were comfortable with and had no desire to rectify despite their obvious tension.

Some days, Rey was jealous of Ben.

Other day she was furious, aware of the longing and sadness Leia felt over her son.

But most days, she was confused.

She could picture this perfect childhood for Ben, but the little boy with too large ears did not always match the man with a permanent brooding brow and lip.

On those days she reread his notes in the margins. Oddly, she felt less alone, recognizing his words as ones she’d never speak.

 

 

“It’s so nice to finally have a girl’s hair to braid,” Leia admitted one evening. Rey had just taken a shower and Leia insisted she braid her hair for the night, her mother doing the same for her when she was a girl.

Gently, the wide tooth comb went through her hair with steady practice. A faint image of a blurryfaced woman brushing Rey’s hair flashed through her mind, fading before she could think to long on the matter.

Rey knew someone taught her how to coil her hair into three buns, however there wasn’t a face to match the memory.

“You like braiding hair?” Rey asked, feeling stupid a moment later. Of course Leia enjoyed braiding hair, her beautifully peppered grey and brown hair twisted and tied into lovely and intricate designs every day.

“Oh yes,” Leia cooed, tucking a loose hair behind Rey’s ear. “My father was the Alderaan ambassador and my mother a native of the country. Braids were significant to their culture.” She paused her braiding, taking a moment of silence. “Many of their traditions died after they were absorbed by neighboring countries in the seventies, but people like me,” she started to tie off the end of the left braid, moving to start the right, “who grew up with these traditions like to keep them alive with our children. Pass it down to future generations.”

The destruction of Alderaan was a tough subject for Leia, one Rey picked up on quickly. It did not take the girl long to connect the dots.

“Does Ben know how to do Alderaan braids?” Rey found herself asking.

Leia chuckled, patting Rey’s shoulder. “Of course he does. Didn’t like sitting and having his hair braided, but he adored braiding my hair as a child. I think he just liked the sensory of it all,” she said  as an afterthought.

“Do you think he’ll pass it on to his children?”

Leia did not speak for a moment, her hands working deftly as she reached the end of Rey’s locks. “I don’t know. I never know with him; all I know is that I love him and I can hope someone out there can love him half as much as I do. That’s all I want from him.” She tied off the right braid. “As much as I like the thought of grandchildren, I am fine with whatever my son decides.” She then leaned forward, sharing a smile with Rey. “And now I got you, someone I can teach to braid and you can teach whomever you love and care for—that’s how we keep the spirit of Alderaan alive.”

Rey smiled quietly to herself. “Thank you,” she said.

Both knew it was for more than the braid.

 

* * *

 

Over the last few weeks, there was one odd element to living with Leia.

Leia Organa was married to Han Solo. Had been married to him for a little over twenty-five years.

Yet Rey had never _seen_ nor _met_ this Han Solo.

She’d heard plenty of stories of Han Solo; Leia had a plethora without an end in sight. He was charismatic yet idiotic man—“All the Solo men are a little idiotic. They make up for it with their heart,” Leia assured her. She’d been locked up in her room, talking on the phone for a few hours. Her voice raised numerous times, though it died down as soon as it started, only to start back up again.

Han Solo was also traveled because of job. However Leia never had the mind to tell her what exactly Han did that required traveling.

So Rey didn’t ask Leia—

She asked Ben instead.

“He does stupid things you should not be concerned with,” was Ben’s answer after he nearly choked on his coffee.

He was at the apartment for his first ‘official’ check-in. A formality considering he’d seen her less than three days ago for Sunday brunch and another couple days for dinner his mother insisted he attend because it was his favorite.

“But wouldn’t he live here even if he had a commute?” Rey asked, glancing back to where Leia was attempting to make breakfast.

Neither Rey or Ben wanted to tell her it would futile, her cooking atrocious. Stubborn to a fault, Leia Organa wanted to cook breakfast whether it be edible or not, and everyone else had to grin and bear it.

Chewing his lips together, Ben considered the best way to answer. Setting his cup down, he met Rey’s curious gaze straight on. “He works out of the state,” he said finally, wiping at the nonexistent mess on the dining table. “He only comes around a couple of months at a time.” His monotone voice cracked with emotion, visible annoyance tinging his words as he excused his father.

“Has it always been like that?”

“ _Yes_ ,” he gritted out. Looking for something to do with his shaking hands, he picked up his coffee and sipped it silently. His eyes focused ahead, occasionally flickering to her and then away.

Rey realized maybe asking Ben about his dad wasn’t the brightest idea in the world.

 

 

Yet when she did meet Han, she came to the startlingly understanding of the hostility was shared between father and son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you all probably could see, this wasn't a Ben and Rey heavy chapter, but a Leia and Rey chapter with some hints of Ben. And you guys all probably ended up with more questions than answers when it comes to Ben and his relationship with his parents. We'll get to that soon enough. 
> 
> Also, we'll officially meet Han next chapter :)
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	6. Holidays Suck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back with this!
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy :D

* * *

 

 

 

“Like hell you are back! What, you realized you needed to actually come home for the holidays? Or did you fucking run out of money?” Ben called out to the older man, his stance guarded.

Ben had just come back from picking Rey up with the Ticos for Christmas Eve. She spent part of the day decorating cookies, watching cheesy Christmas movies, and singing off key to Christmas music. A fun time, a joyous time, one Rey would recall for years and traditions she’d implement with her own kids despite her husband’s pseudo grumpy demeanor over the festivities.

But of course that was in the future. The rest of the night was one she’d remember and one she’d wish she could forget.

Because now she was witnessing the shouting match of the century.

“Now, son there is no need to yell,” the older man, Han Solo, told Ben. “It’s Christmas and I wanted to see my lovely wife—” Everyone heard Leia scoff through her budging grin. “—and my son.”

Ben wasn’t buying his dad’s smothering, sweet answer. “You haven’t seen me for five years!”

“Not by my own doing!” Han insisted. “I have visited countless times—ask your mother. But every single time you are nowhere to be found!”

From the sofa, Rey squirmed, picking at skin around her finger nails. She’s been trying for the longest time to be invisible, a skill she acquired through years of practice. But the shouting and scowls were becoming a bit much. Plenty of times she’d seen Ben get frustrated or upset, usually at Luke, but never had she seen him torn.

A uncomfortable tension rested over Ben, as though he wanted to run to Han and hug him with all his might. Or the opposite—run away from Han and never be forced to face the man again.

Part of Rey wanted to run off, go hide in her room or the bathroom. Like she did whenever she was forced to witness fights, but she rooted herself in place. If she moved now, all three of the Solos would notice. And she sure as hell did not want to be noticed.

“Because I know you are going to tell the same sob story—‘Oh I miss my wife! Oh I miss my son!’” Ben seethed, on the verge of pacing the floor into thin paper with his frantic movements. “You don’t get to fucking do that when you were never around to begin with!”

“I was around!”

“Visiting once a month and sending random lotto scratchers from which ever state you happened to be in, is not being around!” Growling, Ben walked away from his dad and into the corner of the room to gather his breath. Running a hand through his hair, he shook his head, exhausted.

Just as another tumble of anger and pain was about to come from his lips, Ben caught sight of her. His face became ashen, ashamed by how he was acting in front of her. Face scrunching, he scrubbed his face, though it did not wash away his expression.

Rey realized Ben was always a little too transparent. And always would be to her.

After a moment, Ben turned back around to face his parents, the two standing together, speaking in quiet bicker. “Um, I’m going to go for a drive—cool off, you know,” he said, voice thick.

Leia murmured in understanding while Han left for the kitchen. With their less than enthusiastic response, Ben beelined for the front door.

Rey dashed after him. “Ben, wait—”

“Stay here,” he told her, opening the door. “You don’t need to come with me.”

She huffed, arms crossed. “But I want to.”

Biting his lips together, Ben looked like he wanted to argue. Tell her ‘no’.

But he caved. “Fine. Tell my mom you’re coming. We’ll be back in an hour, tops,” he muttered before heading out the door, leaving her the option to follow.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben drove for an hour.

Silent. For an hour.

Occasionally he’d raise the volume on a Christmas song he liked. Then he’d lower the volume of a Christmas song he hated. But he never shut off the radio. Always kept on, a tune to fill the void.

From the passenger seat, Rey watched the glistening Christmas lights of downtown. She’d never seen the downtown square on Christmas; it was nice treat despite the circumstances of the drive.

Initially she wanted to talk, see if Ben had anything he wanted share. Maybe get some worries or concerns off his chest. At least that’s what her high school guidance counsellor told her. Communication key in any relationship, especially with family and friends.

However Rey realized a few minutes into the drive, Ben had not desire to talk. He just wanted to drive and brood, and she was kind of intruding on his private time.

But she always didn’t want to be stuck with Han and Leia without him there.

So she sat with him, silent for the entire hour.

The Christmas lights, music, and rumble of the car lulled Rey. As she was beginning to doze off, Ben cleared his throat. With one hand, he turned off the radio, catching her attention fully now.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said, voice low. “See me and my dad at each other like that. You shouldn’t have seen that.”

She chewed her lips together, giving a little shrug. “It happens.”

“It shouldn’t happen,” he muttered. “I’m your caseworker and you shouldn’t see me lose my cool like that. It’s unprofessional—”

“I thought we were family when you were off the clock,” she interjected, not liking how Ben was beating himself up.

Ben exhaled deeply from his nose. “I am. But I am still your caseworker—”

“So which one comes first?” she asked, her voice raising without her permission. “Am I your family or am I your caseload?”

She heard him swallow heavy, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. “I don’t know, Rey. But I’m both, _okay_?” His words edged on to a plea, asking her to understand him when she didn’t.

Stubbornly, Rey refused to respond.

Taking her silence as an answer, Ben drove them back to his mother’s apartment.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“How old are you again, kid?”

“I’ll be fifteen in May,” Rey answered Han politely.

She tried not to notice how Ben inherited more than a bit of his speech patterns from his father. Han almost religiously called Rey ‘kid’ every time he spoke directly to her. At first it annoyed her, until she realized that was just how he talked, referring to each person with an term of ‘endearment’.

Across the table Ben rolled his eyes. He’d been doing so with every other comment his father made, silently seething and sneering when his parents weren’t looking. Christmas dinner was becoming a series of unspoken conversations between all four members of the dinner table, while the actual spoke conversation was dry and idle. And mostly about Rey, considering she was the neutral party.

The older man hummed, cutting through his lasagna. “Wow, you look younger. You a freshman?”

“Sophomore.”

Han glanced over at Ben in confusion. “She skipped a year,” he supplied.

“Ah, you’re a smart cookie,” Han grinned,  “No wonder you and Leia get along so well. She doesn’t tolerate dumbasses. I should know, I’m one of them,” he said with a chuckle.

Leia snorted, though tried to hide with a shake of her head.

Ben frowned.

Rey…didn’t react. She simply continued to eat.

“Not a laugher I see,” Han muttered, receiving a swift kick from Leia under the table.

“She just takes a while to warm-up,” Leia scolded.

“And _she_ is right here,” Rey mumbled, poking at her food. Across from her Ben sent an apologetic glance. “I’m sorry—I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

Han and Leia accepted her excuse, falling into their own banter. Apparently Han was leaving in the next couple of days to Arizona for some business.

Rey still had no idea what this business was, and she wasn’t too sure if she was allowed to ask.

Once everyone was done with their meal, Leia coerced her son to stay the night and watch a Christmas move all together. As a family.

“We haven’t done anything like that in ages, Ben.” Leia was close to begging, nudging her son as she made herself and Rey a cup of decaf coffee. “It’ll be fun.”

“I don’t know…” He glanced over at Rey, then back at his mother. He seemed to come to a decision almost instantly. “If I stay, it’s for you and Rey…not him.” He nodded over to where his dad sat in the living room with his dog, Chewie.

“That’s fine.” Leia’s disappointment was palpable, but her hope was not lost. She smiled over at Rey. “Sweetie, you can go ahead and pick a Christmas movie for us to watch—anything you want!”

Taking that as her cue, Rey rushed off to the living room and plucked out the DVD she’s been eyeing for days since Leia gushed over it.

_It’s a Wonderful Life._

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben didn’t need to look at her to know Rey had fallen asleep.

At some point during the film, her head lulled on to his shoulder and she hadn’t moved since. When he first felt her slump, Ben wanted to shove her away. Her elbows dug into his side and drool pooled out of her mouth on to his sleeve. Rey was a gross sleeper, and Ben was completely and utterly _not_ surprised. But he didn’t move her away, knowing she was tired and had been in an odd mood for the majority of the day.

When he picked her that morning to go to the Ticos she’d been a bit despondent. Smiled at him, but the gesture never reached her eyes. Through out the drive she was monosyllable as Ben attempted to make conversation.

Then when he dropped her off, she gave him a hug. A weirdly long hug.

She then asked him if he’d come back and pick her up. He answered ‘of course’—an strange question considering he already discussed the duration of the visit with the Ticos and Rey.

Later in the afternoon he picked her up, and she was quiet again. When asked the Ticos claimed she was lively and happy, though a little lost in her own thoughts for part of the day. However they thought it was nothing too concerning.

Ben on the other hand, didn’t agree with the assessment.

Of course, the day took an unforeseen nose dive, as his father decided to show up unannounced for the holiday. Ben had been too consumed with his emotions, his own pain and rage, he hadn’t even thought of Rey. For a moment he forget she followed after him into the apartment and had witnessed him yell recklessly at his estranged father.

He tried to fix it with the girl, apologizing to her during a drive.

Yet she deflected and made what was meant to be a heart to heart into an argument.

Ben wondered if she realized _he_ did the same exact thing, she mimicking his own fatal tactics.

He tried not to think about the matter too much, terrified of what it meant.

“Awe, I don’t want to leave her on the couch,” Leia muttered upon seeing Rey asleep.

Sighing, Ben waved his mother away. “It’s okay. I got it—I’ll take her to her room.”

“You sure?” Leia asked, folding up her throw blanket.

“Yeah, yeah,” he hushed, standing up from the sofa.

At his movement, Rey slipped further into the plush sofa cushions, unfazed. With all the moving, the girl learned how to sleep on any surface without waking, a skill Ben didn’t know was achievable until he met her.

Giving his arms a good stretch, Ben reached down and scooped Rey into his arms. She groaned for an instant, before slouching against him once more. Her head tucked under his chin, more drool oozed from her and on to his shirt.

Carefully, he carried her to her room through the dimly lit hallway. With his shoulder, he nudged the door open, letting it swing slowly open until he could walk Rey in safely without hitting her head. The room was dark, except for the nightlight—his old nightlight—plugged into the farthest wall.

His hands were full, Ben unable to flick on the light. So with a shuffle, he edged his way to the bed. Once his shins bumped the surface, he lowered her down. Another muffled sigh came from her, Rey shifting on the bed subconsciously. Grabbing the throw blanket on the edge of the bed, he draped it on her, tucking it in slightly around her arms.  He brushed away loose hair from her face, the braid his mother worked on falling out.

Taking a step back, Ben watched as her furrowed brows relaxed, she falling back into a restful slumber.

The fleeting thought of adopting her crossed his mind as it always did in the quiet moments. Or after she insisted they were family. But he banished the idea before he could toy with it any longer. The thought of adopting her…felt wrong.

Rey wasn’t his kid; she’d _never_ be his kid.

She was his _case_ …maybe his family if he wanted to be generous and please her.

Feeling a clutch of panic in his chest for some obscure reason, Ben left her room, closing the door shut behind him.

As he made his way back to the living room, he’d been surprised to find his dad laying on one of the sofas, awake.

“Thought you would have gone to bed already,” Ben said, grabbing one of the folded blankets off the back of the opposite sofa.

Han grunted. “Your mother exiled me to the sofa. Still not happy about this afternoon.”

“Not surprised,” Ben said, offering little words of comfort. He shook out the blanket, before laying down on the cramped sofa. Not an ideal bed, but he wasn’t about to drive back to his place in the middle of the night when he needed to be at his mother’s for Christmas morning.

Doing his best to ignore the fact his dad was less than five feet away, Ben turned on his side to face the inside of the sofa. He breathed slowly, hoping his dad would think he fell asleep.

“That kid…” Han began.

Of _course_ his dad knew he was awake. Always did.

Sighing, Ben flopped on his back. “What about her?”

“She…she gonna be here long?”

Ben rubbed his eyes, not ready for this conversation. He wouldn’t be ready for this conversation with anyone. “I don’t know.”

“She seems attached.”

Ben frowned at how Han said the word ‘attached’. Like it was a bad thing.

“Yeah, her and mom get along well.”

“That’s not what I was talking about.”

Silence fell over the two.

“Then what _are_ you talking about?” Ben asked, turning to face his dad.

Han sighed tiredly. “I’m talking about you and her—she seems attached to you, son.”

“Because I’m her caseworker,” Ben defended, “I’m the only constant she gets. And as much as it hurts to say it’s not like she is going to get adopted at this rate. She’s already going to be fifteen.”

“I ran away from my foster home when I saw fifteen,” Han said quietly. “Ran off with this girl—Qui’ra. She was my best friend.”

Ben bristled, shifting uncomfortably on the sofa. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I don’t want you to lose your shit if she books it when she sees her first ticket out.”

Ben stilled, hearing his own heavy breathing rather than feeling it escape his chest. “Rey’s not like that.”

“Your mother told me she is know to run away,” Han told him quietly, a vague groan of disappointment in his tone. “And while she seems like a good kid…sometimes the system fucks you up, son. Doesn’t matter how much you try to protect her, keep her in line, find her after she runs away. She’s gonna have to eventually figure out things on her own.”

“She’s my case and I’m not going to let anything happen to her,” Ben said with unwavering conviction. “Rey is under _my_ care—”

“Do you talk about all your cases like this?” Han asked, sitting up from the sofa. Tired exasperation wore deeply on his face. “Like they are _yours_ to keep? Son, she’s her own person with her own traumas and demons. Why else do you think she was a clam all day?”

“Because…” Ben realized he didn’t have a distinct answer. With a sigh, he sat up, facing his dad. “I don’t know.”

“Because sometimes holidays _suck_ ,” Han explained, Ben reminded once again his father had an entire mystery of a life before him and his mother came into the picture. “You see people with their families, having the time of their lives or maybe an awful time—but they are _together_ and they are a _family_ , and when you don’t have that, it feels like shit.”

“Well when you put that way…” Ben mumbled, rubbing his jaw. “But she didn’t say anything—but of course why the fuck would she say anything…”

“Right,” Han nodded once, all too weighted down by understanding. “I’m just saying be careful.”

“I am careful—”

“I know _you_ are careful,” Han stressed, marching his son’s stare levelly, “but you can’t tell me you haven’t notice the way _she_ looks at _you_?”

Han’s words felt like a slap, his tone spelling out the words violently.

Ben recoiled, shaking his head furiously. “Dad, she’s a _kid_.”

“She’s almost fifteen,” Han stated slowly, “you’d be an _idiot_ to think a fifteen year old hasn’t thought about you in a less than appropriate way.”

“Appropriate way— _who the fuck are you right now_?” Ben stuttered, eyebrows furrowing. “It’s not like that—It’s not like that _at all._ ”

“Not on your end, of course,” Han hissed. “Hell, she might not realize it herself, but I have eyes. Your _mom_ has eyes, and that girl looks at you like you hung the fucking moon.”

Ben swallowed tightly, feeling beyond uncomfortable with the thought of Rey viewing him as…as something more than her caseworker or family she seemed to insist.

He felt like throwing up.

“Son, all I am saying is…maybe set more boundaries,” Han mumbled. “Because I know you love your job….and I don’t want one kid to screw it up for you.”

“Rey’s not like that,” Ben said, his word hallow. “Why can’t you understand that I know Rey better than anyone—she isn’t like that, at all.”

“You also say Rey is not the kind to run away, but how many times has she ran away under your caseload?”

Ben didn’t say anything. Shaking his head, he laid back down, ignoring his father once more.

Ben couldn’t fall asleep that night, his paranoia replying his dad’s claims on loop.

Maybe…maybe some distance would be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So does Rey have a crush on Ben, or is it paranoia? Or maybe she does, but she just doesn't realize it? 
> 
> Who knows? Oh, wait I do ;) But I'd love to listen to everyone's opinions.
> 
> Also a reminder, don't worry nothing happens between Rey and Ben when she is younger. Romantic reylo is WAY later.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	7. The Fire Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER CHAPTER! YAY.
> 
> Will get to replying to comments soon!
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

 

 

In the new year, Ben attempted a new routine.

He was no longer going to have dinner at his mother’s apartment nearly every night.

Instead, he’d go every _other_ night.

Baby steps right?

If Rey noticed, she didn't say.

Leia on the other hand saw a red flag and chased after it.

"What do you think you are doing?" she asked, cornering him at the door as he left early from a Wednesday dinner. Usually on Wednesday’s he’d stick around and help with cleaning the kitchen since it was Rey’s night for dinner. Unsurprisingly, she knew how to cook basic meals, picking up the skill from all her former homes. It was a nice break up from all the take-out and ordered meals his mother had the tendency to pick up for dinner.

However, this time he wasn’t staying late. His excuse that night was finishing paperwork.

Not a lie.

But also not the complete truth as to why he was leaving.

"Paperwork, like I told you.” Ben shrugged on his coat, ignoring the burn of his mother’s all too knowing eyes.

"Cut the bullshit," she interjected with a stern pull of her brows. "You've been stopping by less than usual."

"It's called keeping a healthy distance," Ben explained matter-of-factly.

Shuffling in front of the door, Leia a demanding frown directed at him. She purposely place herself right in his path, not letting Ben leave until she knew all the details. "From _who_?"

Were they truly playing this game. "I think you know who."

She groaned under her breath. Pathetically she dropped her forehead against the doorframe. "You shouldn’t have let your father get in your head." She shook her head, arms crossed. “He doesn’t know what he is talking about—”

“I think he did with this,” Ben admitted, himself surprised he was agreeing with his father’s opinion. That hadn’t happened in at least a decade.

“But distance?” Leia asked, a hint of disappointment in her tone. “She matters to you, Ben. She’s your kid.”

Ben’s nose wrinkled at the word—Rey wasn’t his kid, and he didn’t need anyone else going around claiming she was when she wasn’t. "He made a good point—she's not _my_ kid and I need to keep work and personal life separate."

Leia tsked. "Then you fucked up the moment you brought her here," his mother reminded him.

Aggravated, Ben smoothed and dusted off his coat, needing to do something other than listen to his mother tell him he was making an awful decision. "I know...that's why I am _trying_ the 'healthy distance' route."

Leia's stern face soften, sensing how pushing himself away from Rey was a struggle for Ben. It was no secret, he cared a little too much. He’d been a sweet child, a lover not a fighter. Never intentional cruel without reason, even if his reason happened to be exceptionally bias. Ben with a heart too soft for a cruel world full of expectations and judgement.

"Okay," she relented, "I think it is not the best idea, but I'm not going to force you to do otherwise. You just need to live with the consequences."

"What consequences?"

"Hurting a sweet teen girl’s feelings."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben forced himself to miss a soccer game here and there.

He told himself it was _okay_ to miss a few of her games.

After all it was as though he was missing _all_ of them; he'd go to every other one.

A compromise with himself. Even if it fucking hurt to know he was just sitting in his apartment or doing chores or going grocery shopping when he could be cheering on his...his girl.

(Calling her that didn't feel right either.)

Even though he missed and she knew he missed the games, she never made a peep or complaint about it.

Rey still enthusiastically told him about her matches when he showed up for dinner later that week.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben showed less and less and Rey continue to be unfazed, not saying a word. Only it became more obvious how she'd absorb the time she had with him like a sponge. She might not have said anything, but there was a keen awareness in their interactions.

She knew Ben was pushing himself away, but she didn’t know why. Despite often being a curious girl, she kept her lip shut and didn’t ask him for his reasons for the sudden distance.

A rather mature reaction; one Ben was not expecting in the slightest.

Part of him was relieved Rey wasn't attached as his father claimed.

She could function in her life without expecting him to be there. Not dependent. Her own person.

Yet he could not help but feel a little disheartened. He'd grown accustom to her presence. Her grumpy little frowns and dry humor.

Not once did it occur to Ben _he_ was the one with the attachment issue. Not Rey.

He wasn’t too sure what to do with that particular revelation.

 

 

* * *

 

 

If Rey didn’t notice his lack of appearance at dinners or at games, then she surely noticed when he missed Sunday brunch.

He called his mother the previous day to let her know; he'd been roped into a camping trip that weekend with some college buddies. An unexpected change of plans, but one he welcomed. He hadn’t spent much time with Hux, Phasma, and Mitaka since graduation, their jobs keeping their social lives to a minimum. A camping trip out at the national park sounded like a nice time to catch up and needed get away.

And it was a nice get away for about twenty-four hours, except Ben realized he needed to implement exercise in his routine because he nearly passed out on a hike. A little pathetic, but at least he wasn’t as bad as Mitaka who _did_ pass out.

Naturally, Ben came back the Saturday night exhausted, not necessarily in the mood to handle his mother's usual probing. At least he had the decency to call her the night before to let her know, Leia understanding.

He knew Rey noticed his frequent absences because he had three missed calls from her. And Rey _never_ called.

And he had a missed call from his mother, along with a voicemail. "Ben, she won't leave her room. She thinks she did something to upset you. Please call me back, son.”

"But she did nothing wrong,” Ben said as soon as his mother picked up. “She understands she did nothing wrong right?”

A tired tsk came from Leia. "I know that. You know that. Our fourteen year old does _not_ know that."

So Ben did what any good person would do; he caved.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, open up,” Ben called out through the locked door. He knocked a couple of times, but knew she heard him and was just being stubborn. “Come on, Rey!”

When she didn’t answer for the third time, Ben reached on to the ledged of the doorframe’s molding. Blindly moving his hand, he caught the door’s key.

“I’m coming in whether you like it or not!” He shouted, jiggling the key into the tiny keyhole. It’d been years since the key and lock were used, not since he was a teen. With some effort, the door unlocked, the knob loose.

Swing the door open, Ben froze.

The room was empty.

 _Rey wasn’t there_.

His stomach dropped, all blood rushing out from his body in a sickening wave of fear. Frantically, he checked under the bed and then the closet. Yet she was no where to be found.

On the desk, a few papers rustled, falling off the surface— _the window_.

Growling under his breath, Ben marched over to the window and shoved the blue curtains away. A light winter breeze came from a cracked open window. Cracked open enough for someone to slide their hand under and come right back in if they so desired.

Pushing the window pane up and open wider, Ben poked his head out. Cool air hit his face, late February winter in full force. The window screen had been removed, set down against the outside of the building. It was then Ben realized the bottom half of the fire escape had been pulled down.

“Shit,” he hissed, slamming his hands on the windowsill.

She fucking ran away through the mean of a fire escape— a fire escape that hadn’t been used ever in its existence and was probably riddled with tetanus. Ben had to admit, that was a new one.

Shaking his head, he left her room, by passing his concerned mother. “Ben what happened—”

“She ran off!” Ben said already halfway to the front door. “I don’t have time to talk. I need to find her, call whoever it is you need to call and start looking too. She couldn’t have gotten too far.”

With those words, Ben tried calling Rey again and again.

Only to received voicemail each time.

 

 

* * *

 

 

No stone was left unturned.

He checked with the Ticos.

The library after.

Then the soccer field.

From the soccer field he visited a few of the players homes, thinking maybe Rey was crashing with them, but none of them had seen her since their game on Saturday morning.

He went to his office, finding only finding Poe watching over an infant, his latest case. He hadn’t seen a flash of the girl anywhere. Begrudgingly, Ben checked with Skywalker who had also been looking at Leia’s request—no sign of her.

All the parks she knew were checked, followed by all her favorite restaurants. He even drove to the outskirts of town to her favorite Pho place, thinking she was hiding out there and eating until she was stuffed.

It was no dice.

Around midnight, Ben knew he was fighting a lost battle. If Rey was going to turn up, she would have already done so. The teenager was pro at making herself disappear; she didn’t want to be found, she wasn’t going to be found.

“I fucked up.”

“I could have told you that,” Leia tutted. She closed the passenger door with a thud. “I told you keeping distance would not have been a good idea. The poor thing thinks she did something wrong, so first thought is to run away, thinking we don’t want her.”

Ben bit his upper lip, nodding along to his mother’s words. Curious peeked up at her through the car window. “Why aren’t you freaking out more? She lives with you. Shouldn’t you, I don’t know be blowing up right now? Losing your shit?”

“No,” Leia shook her head, hugging her coat closer. “I experience my fair share of runaways as a caseworker. And it’s a little different once your own offspring goes through his little runaway phases as well.”

Ben didn’t expect that low blow. “Sorry,” he mumbled, recalling how he’d run off for a few days at a time as a teen. Always with someone his parents knew, usually someone on the soccer team, but he knew he caused some worry. Did it purposely.

Leia waved him off, a weariness in her eyes and bones. “It happens.”

“Will…will you still be her foster parent?” Ben asked quietly, afraid of the answer.

His mother scoffed, her hand ruffling his hair. “Honey, _of course_. I love that girl; you’d have to pry her away from me before you take her to some other home. A little runaway incident means nothing, especially when you are the cause of it.”

“So you think she’ll turn up?”

“Yeah son,” her confidence gave him comfort, “she will. Rey’s many things, but she’s not an idiot. She’s probably somewhere we never even thought to look.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“ _Fucking shit_ ,” Ben mumbled. Groaning pathetically, he dropped  his head against his apartment door.

This was just making a bad night worse.

He’d been struggling to get the padlock unlocked, one he could have sworn he left unlocked. The damn thing got stuck all the time, Ben resorting to just locking the doorknob when he left his apartment.

Standing back up straight, he tried another jiggle. With a heavy shift of metal scraping against metal, the lock finally turned.

Entering his studio apartment, Ben threw down his keys and wallet on to the kitchen counter and flicked on the lights—

To find _Rey_ curled up on his sofa.

A backpack laid on the floor, along with her shoes. She used a pillow from his bed along with an old quilt. She was coiled into a tight ball in the corner, fast asleep.

His breath caught in his throat—

She was there. In his apartment…

_The entire fucking time._

Relief flooded into anger at lightning speed. Locking the door behind him, Ben stepped over to sofa. He shook her shoulder a couple of times, a upset groan coming from the girl.

“Hey, wake up.” When she didn’t listen, curling further into herself, Ben nearly pulled her up and off the sofa. However he refrained himself, shaking her a bit harder. “I said wake up— _NOW_.”

Blearily, Rey’s eyes opened, blinking up at him. “Wha—”

“ _What the hell were you thinking_!” Ben did not hold back, staring down at her with complete fear and frustration. “I have been looking for you across town _all night_! And what? You have been hiding out here? How the fuck did you even get in!”

Shoving his hand off, Rey sat up and glared. “You haven’t been around,” she accused stubbornly, not bothering on answering his surge of questions. “You hardly come around anymore and I don’t know why! Is it something I did? Or said—”

“Forget about that!” Ben ordered, his voice raising. “You ran off! Do you know how many people were looking for you— _scared for you_? Worried fucking sick?”

She scrambled off the sofa, grabbing her shoes and backpack. “ _I don’t care_! I came here for answers and you are just being a _dick_!” Mouth in a firm disgruntled frown, Rey made a dash to the door.

But Ben was quicker.

Grabbing her by the waist, he pulled her back before she could run out the door. Flailing arms and legs kicked at him, Ben barely dodging her hits. She was scrappy, about ready to smack him in the eye or tear at his shirt.

Rey was upset and all she could do was fight against him, Ben, who was doing nothing but holding her back from hutting him and herself. He simply kept her in his arms until she finally gave up, Ben a fortress against her lithe arms.

As he felt her energy and gusto start to droop from her fruitless efforts, Ben quickly deposited her back on the sofa. She flopped down, eyes pooling with aggravated tears, but didn’t jump back up for another round.

He stood tall in front of her, ignoring how her betrayed glare cause a pang in his chest. “You sit and listen— _I’m_ the adult right now.”

Her mouth screwed up into the a pout, but she did not argue.

“I have spent the last _seven hours_ looking for you. Seven fucking hours,” Ben stressed, staring down at her. She continued to glare, unfazed by his words. “I looked everywhere—my mother and Luke looked everywhere, and we could not fucking find you _anywhere_.”

“I was fine,” she spat.

“BUT WE DIDN’T KNOW THAT!” He bellowed, not caring if the neighbors heard. He was pissed and she was going to know it, if it was the last thing he did. “Rey, we did not know you were possibly in the _safest spot_ possible because you just fucking ran off!”

“I figured you’d find me,” she said, her voice small but strong. “You always do.”

Ben realized she unconditionally believed her words— _that he’d find her_. That he’d somehow find her every single time.”

That was not good. Not good at all.

“If you keep this up, there is going to be day where I _won’t_ be able to find you, Rey.”

Her eyes widened, frighteningly so, she looking far younger than she acted.

“People…” Ben licked his lips, exhaling sharply through his nose. He couldn’t cry right now—he could _not_ loose it. Not like his father claimed he would. “People care about you, Rey. They care a shit ton about you. It’s about time you get that through your fucking skull.”

With the back of his hand, he wiped his nose, feeling wet snot drip down from his betraying tears.

Rey’s face crumbled, the girl succumbing to her begging sobs in the depths of her chest.

Oh, shit. Ben didn’t want this. Seeing her cry….that was ripping his heart out in the most painful way.

“I—I—” she hiccupped between her words, “I—I didn’t mean—didn’t mean,” she scrubbed furiously at her face, eyes and cheeks reddening, “I didn’t mean to make anyone worried or upset—I just wanted to see you, “ she confessed, sniffling. “I missed you,” she hiccupped again. “You’re my best friend and you weren’t coming around,” she rambled out, inhaling sharply as she struggled to catch her breath through an oncoming storm of tears.

Taking a seat beside her, Ben gently brought her into a hug. She curled into him, arms hugging him back and her hand clutching him for dear life. “I know, I know,” he mumbled into her hair, resting his cheek on the top of her head. “You’re right…it was being a dick, for stupid reasons. Nothing you need to worry about.”

She nodded against his chest, her sobs gradually becoming involuntary sniffles.

“I…I won’t do it again,” she said once her tears stopped. “I won’t run away again— _I promise_.”

“Okay,” Ben hummed, “okay. Then I won’t be…missing in action anymore either.”

“Good.” A watery chuckled came from her. Sitting up, she wiped her eyes. “Do I need to call Leia?” she asked, for once sounding scared of the idea of his mother.

“I’ll call her,” Ben assured her, handing her the quilt. “I’ll call everyone. Don’t worry about it, just…just go back to sleep. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

With that said, he stood up, giving her more room on the sofa. Before he could make it any further, her hand caught his arm.

“You don’t…you don’t hate me, right?” For once Rey’s voice was timid, she looking up at him with desperate eyes.

Ben shook his head, a small sad smile on his lips. “Oh sweetheart, I can never hate you. I’m just…tired and not happy right now. But we’ll be okay,” he promised her, giving her hair a little ruffle.

She frowned at the gesture, but her hazel eyes shined back at him with freeing relief.

He and the kid were going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do you all think Rey will keep her promise and not runaway again? I don't know...
> 
> Keeping distance clearly did not work for Rey and Ben, so we'll have to see how that pans out.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	8. The Falcon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter!
> 
> Typos will be fixed later! 
> 
> ENJOY.

* * *

 

 

Han showed up for Rey's birthday.

And Ben tried his best to quell the jealousy beating violently inside him.

Because Han made Ben's childhood full of empty promises, half-baked plans, and odd postcards or lotto scratchers sent in the mail as sour substitutes for his presence. Trust flew out the window with Han Solo, Ben humming along when his dad said he try to come back in May for the kid’s birthday.

Ben, like any reasonable person, took his father’s words with a grain of salt.

Yet his old man somehow scrounged up the effort to show up for a girl’s birthday he only knew for a handful of months. 

Rey was ecstatic at his father’s presence, the two hitting it off once the mish-mash of emotions the holidays caused washed away. The girl thought Han Solo was the coolest guy ever—and Ben was more than little bothered. Just a degree short of furious.

"The big one-five, kid. You can legally start learning how to drive," Han teased Rey.

"Han, she just turned fifteen," Leia scolded. She handed off another slice of cake to her husband. "She probably doesn’t even know how to operate a car—"

"I do!" Rey insisted, her mouth full of her third serving of cake. Swallowing, she nodded towards Ben. "He showed me."

"Ben!" His mother scolded.

"Atta boy," Han praised, clapping his son's back. "Knew I was doing the right thing with teaching how to drive at twelve—"

"Where'd you get this cake, Mom?" Ben asked, taking a large bite of the chocolate cake. It's delicious."

His mother did not need to know when his father deemed him ready to operate heavy machinery. Han Solo was reckless when it came to teaching Ben ‘life skills,’ mostly due to the fact he didn’t want to miss out on Ben’s life despite the fact he was indeed _actively missing out on Ben’s life_. A strange sort of irony neither Ben or his mother initially fought on with Han.

So Ben learned about certain things way earlier than he should have and obtained skills no kid needed to have learned—such as knowing how to pick a lock, how to carry his keys so he wouldn’t get mugged, knowing the basics of operating a car, and—unfortunately—about the birds and the bees, all before he hit the age of twelve.

The only reason Ben showed Rey how to operate a car was because…well because of his own paranoia.

He knew she made a promise to never runaway again, a promise she seemed to have every intention of keeping. After all, they made it to May without an incident.

Yet he could not shake off his conversation with his father—would Rey run at her first ticket out of town? Would she finally get sick and tired of this life and dash?

Or worse—would she meet someone and run off with them?

Ben told himself he was being ridiculous; Rey was a relatively sensible girl. She wasn’t as reckless as maybe some thought, instead rather patient. More patient than most teenagers her age. But that did not quell the worry festering inside Ben. He feared she’d run off, run into trouble, or end up somewhere— _anywhere_ —and by god, she wouldn’t know how to drive and be stuck and lost and not be able to find her way back to him and—

 _Anyways_ , he taught her how to drive because of his own paranoia, and who else was going to teach her? Certainly not Leia.

His mother, once a rebel, but a stickler for _certain_ rules, stared down her husband. "Han, how old was Ben when you taught him how to drive?"

"Doesn’t matter, the kid is a natural and I'm sure Rey is too." Han's eye lit up, nudging the girl. "You know what, once you pass your written exam, you can take the Falcon out for a spin."

"Really?" Rey gushed, perking up at the idea.

" _Really_?" Ben deadpanned, hunching lower in his seat.

"Yes, really.”

Good god. Han was truly attempting to give Ben a premature death. The Falcon, for the lack of better terms, was a stick-shift death trap. The 1970s vehicle was the machine of Ben’s dreams and the worst invention in existence for the mere fact his father owned it and adored the hunk of junk more than his own flesh and blood. The damn car always got stuck on the second gear, stalled for reasons unknown to this date, and guzzled gas like it was going out of style.

Rey ignored the horror on Ben’s face, enamored by the thought of driving the Falcon. "I don't have my written  for another few weeks.” Her face fell, prepared for an excuse. At least the kid was learning not to put all her trust into the old man’s word. She must have listened to all of Ben’s griping despite her usual muted nod as she put on her earbuds to drown out his whines.

"That's alright. I'm stick around for a while anyways," Han told her, passing the rest of his cake to Rey.

"You are?" Ben asked stiltedly, an age old panic grasping his lungs. "I thought you had a job out on the East coast?"

"Nah, it got pushed back a few months. A funds issue," his dad shrugged, "what can you do?"

"I don't know," Ben copied his shrug, "maybe _retire_?"

Han did not say anything else, Leia cutting more cake.

"Rey, sweetie why don’t you get a pot of coffee going, so we can offset all this sweetness." Rey sighed, but listened. It was fairly obvious Leia's instructions were code for the girl to leave the room.

Once she was gone, Leia turned back to the two Solo men, a disappointment frown on her mouth.

“Seriously? Is there not one day where we can be a happy, easy-going family—not even today of all days?”

Both men had the decency to look ashamed.

“Wonderful point you brought up, Princess,” Han said with a twinge of an apologetic sigh. “We’ll be a bit better.”

“Right, Mom,” Ben, in not so many words, agreed.

Han then turned to him in all seriousness. “But honestly, Son—is the kid any good? Or were you doing that thing of looking proud but feeling like shit on the inside? Can’t have the Falcon tampered with less than careful hands.”

“And you call yourself careful hands?” Ben countered. “I’d think Uncle Lando would say the contrary. Need I remind you the Falcon _was_ his car.”

“Not until he gambled it off,” Han defended, “I won that hunk of junk fair and square!”

“Pretty sure you didn’t—”

“Boys!” Leia huffed. “Didn’t we just agree—”

The two mumbled apologies, sounding all too similar to one another.

“I’ll go help Rey with the coffee,” Ben announced, seeing it best to get out of the room while he still could. His mother sent him a grateful glance, while Han folded himself into a petulant slump…And it was like no time passed for the dear little Solo family.

Ben wasn’t too sure if he liked this step back into the past.

Upon entering the kitchen, he found Rey sitting on a stool, watching the coffee drip at an agonizingly slow pace.

“Are you guys done talking about ‘grown up things’ so I can act like I wasn’t listening?” she asked, eye never moving from the filling pot.

Ben’s lips quirked to side—leave it to Rey to tell him when they were fooling themselves. “Yeah—but it wasn’t ‘grown up things,’ just my dad being my dad.”

“Like I’m supposed to know what that means,” she muttered, hoping off the stool. Opening the cabinet, she brought down a couple of mugs and set them on the counter. “I mean, I get why you don’t get along with him, but at least he’s trying. Can’t say the same about my parents.”

Ben inhaled deeply through his nose; he knew this was coming. Since a couple of years back, this conversation seemed to have a way of popping up around her birthday. He should have held his breath.

“Rey, you know what they are—”

“But they can’t they still, I don’t know,” she huffed, face frowning in determination, “Can’t they call? Or maybe send a letter—it is my birthday,” she mumbled, hiding the fact her voice hitched, treading on tears.

“They—” Ben had said it plenty of times, but each time it hurt to see her struggle to accept the truth, “—they didn’t want you, Rey. You’ve known this for years.”

“But it’s not fair.”

“I know it’s not fair,” he said coming up beside her. A comforting hand rested on her shoulder, Ben squeezing lightly. “But it’s their own fault, not yours. You know that, right?”

She nodded mutely, leaning in to his touch. “I know, I know.” A bitter response, but one with a hint of understanding. It was taking her years to accept her parents abandoned her, left her indefinitely, but she was gradually getting there. To true acceptance and deliverance.

But she wasn’t there quite yet.

Biting her lips together, Rey looked up back up at him. A ghost of smile graced her lips, before she quickly ducked her head away.

Fleetingly, Ben caught a faint flush of pink pepper across her cheeks.

_Oh shit._

Like scalding hot to the touch, Ben released her shoulder.

“Um, I’ll take care of the coffee,” he announced, making his hands busy by grabbing cream and sugar. And getting as far away from her as possible. “You can go back out with my parents, it _is_ your birthday.”

She seemed puzzled by his insistence—they usually would help each other in the kitchen, simply because they could—but she didn’t question. “Okay,” she said, her should drooping into a little half-hearted shrug, “Can’t promise if there’d be anymore cake when you come back though.” She grinned abundantly back at him, a singy-song tune to her taunt.

He didn’t say anything, just motioning for her to go.

Once she was gone did Ben allow himself to breathe.

“She’s just a kid,” he muttered to himself as he poured coffee. “Kid’s have stupid crushes all the time.”

But Ben could not help but think this was not the first time he witnessed her startling familiar blush. Nope, it was becoming a daily occurrence. Blushes, the occasional stuttering when caught staring, but at least it stopped there.

Rey was just a kid with a crush, and Ben knew he just needed to let it pass.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Miraculously, Han kept his promise.

He stuck around.

And he was letting Rey drive the Falcon

“She’s not going to crash it,” Leia assured Ben, patting his arm. “We are in a fucking abandoned parking lot. There is _nothing_ to crash.”

“Us,” Ben supplied, pushing his sunglasses higher, “there is _us_ to crash.”

“Now you are being ridiculous. I have no idea where you get this worry-wort syndrome from,” she muttered with a shake of her head. “Your father and I are not like that.”

Ben didn’t remark about how _exactly_ his father was like that—the man was worrier under all that charisma. There conversation right before he handed the keys to Rey reminded Ben how much paranoia Han Solo actually possessed.

“And she really did pass? You’re not just lying for her—this is the Falcon we are talking about—”

“Yes, Dad! She did pass, goddamn it.”

From a few yards away, Ben and Leia watched at Rey drove around the abandoned _K-Mart_ ’s parking lot. She stalled a few times, though he had a feeling it was the death trap’s fault, not her own. Other than that, she drove with ease, turning when appropriate and breaking when she reached a stop sign. She even slowed for the speed bumps.

“She’s not half bad,” Leia squinted through her sunglasses. “Might even say she’s better than you were at that age.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

A hearty, chest-full chuckle came from his mother. “Oh honey, she’s going to want to go everywhere once she gets her license.”

“She should go everywhere. Rey deserves it,” he mumbled, glaring out to the car.

His missed the way his mother’s eyes softened at his words.

“Your father wants to give her the Falcon.”

Ben whipped his head to her. “ _What_?”

“It’s too old to drive across the country anymore. He has other cars,” she explained with a dash of disdain. “He thinks she should have it.”

There wasn’t more to the reason. Simply his father believed Rey should have, and goddamn it she was going to have it if Han Solo declared it so.

“I was supposed to get the Falcon.”

His mother tsked all too knowingly. “You hate the Falcon.”

“He promised me the Falcon when I was a kid,” he grumbled through his stubborn pout.

“And your twenty-five now,” his mother said plainly, the unwanted voice of reason. “With your own car, one you got on your own.”

“I know. But it’s still the principle of the matter.”

She rolled her eyes, no doubt finding his arguments too childish for her taste. “He wants to do something nice for her,” Leia continued, “your father sees a lot of himself in Rey.”

“So is this his way of rectifying sins—being nice to the orphan girl?”

“Son, now you are just being mean.” Leia looked up at him, imposing with her sharp dark eyes and motherly intuition. “Maybe he is trying to ‘rectify his sins’—may god, where did you learn to speak like that,” she muttered under her breath, “But are you going to deny Rey this?”

“No.” A pointless question—Leia, Han, whoever else, knew Ben would never deny Rey anything. She had him wrapped around her finger, Ben bending over backwards to make sure she was comfortable and safe…he just wanted her happy. And if he could provide a happiness through the little gestures—ones she was never privy to, ones she’d never know a whisper about—then so be it.

“Hm, that’s what I thought.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Of course, six months later, Han screwed up.

And this time he was taking the happiness and world Ben painstakingly built around Rey down with him

“Son, I’m going to need to place Rey somewhere else,” Leia told Ben after dinner on Tuesday.

Rey had already gone off to her room to do homework; she needed to work ahead because she had an out of town soccer game later in the week. She worked on later assignments bit by bit each day to not fall behind when she came back; Rey was diligent like that.

Ben had been a little surprised his mother shooed away Rey so soon after dinner, but hearing her hushed plea, he realized why.

“What do you mean place her _somewhere else_?” he asked, his chest constricting the longer he stared down his mother. This did not make sense; Leia adored Rey, loved her like she was her own. Something must have happened to cause such a sudden decision.

A series of emotions flash upon his Leia’s face, most prominently frustration and guilt.

“Your father got into some legal trouble out in Florida,” she stated tersely. Her hands washed the dishes on autopilot.

Meanwhile Ben froze at the news.

“Legal trouble _how_?” he asked stiltedly. His shoulder hunched, caving himself in to keep the conversation contained in the space between them.

“Legal trouble, in the sense he needs a lawyer and will be testifying in court.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“In Florida?”

“In Florida,” Leia repeated, a short exhale escaping her. “And I can’t bring Rey with me to Florida, Son. That’s across the country, it’s the middle of the school year, there are different jurisdictions there.”

Wiping his face, Ben groaned.

This…this was absolute shit. Shittier than he ever anticipated. Worse than anything he could have thought of—Rey was going to be devastated.

“Mom,” Ben breathed, feeling he was on the verge of an anxiety attack, “she…she thinks this is her _forever_ home. She thinks this is it! There wasn’t going to be anymore moving or placements—I made a promise to myself I wouldn’t move her anymore,” he hissed, more upset with himself than anyone.

Leia nodded, swallowing back the tears begging to be released. “Ben, if I could do something— _anything_ —I would. I would in heartbeat, but your father needs me.” She pursed her lips, forcing herself to say the next words. “I’m leaving in three days. To give her some time, but I can’t stay any later. I have to go,” she croaked out. “But—But it will only be for a little while, at _most_ a few months. Then she can move back in,” the promise and conviction in her voice did little to comfort Ben, whose mind continued to reel. He needed to call Luke, start looking for a temporary place for Rey. Figure everything out because three days might not be enough and he wasn’t going to have her crash in the office again. “I’ll even leave the apartment key with her. She can stop by whenever she wants, do whatever she wants here because this is her home—but I can’t be her foster parent, at least not on paper.”

Ben didn’t say anything, eyes hyper focused on the backsplash tiles of the kitchen. “I…I need to go for a drive—clear my head, figure out where to put her,” he began to leave the kitchen before taking a step back, “don’t tell her anything yet. I’ll break the news to her.”

“I should—”

“No,” Ben interrupted sharply, “it’s my _job_. I’ll tell her.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“We haven’t been here in ages!” Rey gasped when Ben pulled his car up to the ice cream shop, the one down the street from his office. He picked her up after school, she surprised but delighted. “They probably have new flavors now.”

“Probably,” Ben mumbled, getting out of the car. It was a little cold for ice cream, however news was easier to absorb when eating something sweet. Made the blow softer.  

Rey hurried after him, matching him step for step. Her eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong with you Mr. Grumpy-Pants?”

He opened the door for her, Ben following in after. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, shrugging. “Nothing.”

“Are you _sure_?”

“Just pick your ice cream,” he ordered, hoping he didn’t sound to snippety. “Got to get you back…back home soon.”

Her eyes narrowed at him, but she listened, not one to say ‘no’ to ice cream.

Once they sat down, her with chocolate chip cookie dough and he with his cookie and cream, Ben knew he had to tell her. It was the reason for the trip to the ice cream shop.

“Rey….something came up,” he began, “my dad—Han—”

“I know who your dad is,” she interjected cheekily.

He _really_ didn’t need this right now.

“Well, my dad has gotten into some legal trouble.” Rey’s face fell as the news. Ben knew he needed to continue before she started her onslaught of questions. “And my mom needs to go help him…in Florida.”

Her hazel eyes widened. Fear creeped in her gaze. “Is she gonna be gone a couple of days?”

Ben closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. “A couple of months.”

When he opened them, he found Rey staring emptily down at her ice cream. The treat was melting quickly, creating a small puddle on the mint green table top. She made no move to eat it.

“Can I live with you?” she finally asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am not certified.”

“Then get certified,” she shot back, her shock morphing into anger. “Get certified and then I won’t have to be with someone else.”

“It takes months and I don’t have room for you. I live in a studio apartment.”

“You’re a caseworker, you can probably get certified quickly if you wanted to!” The few people in the shop glanced their way, however Rey continued, ignoring their curious eyes. “Leia got certified in less than day—”

“That was a different case and she had room for you—”

“Then make room for me,” she insisted, her breathing becoming frantic.

“That’s _not_ how it works, Rey,” Ben said evenly, matching her furious gaze. “I would if I could. _But I can’t_.” He forced the words out, each word stressed heavily. “I need you to understand that, okay?”

She didn’t say anything, only a tiny, barely there, nod.

“You’ll be staying with someone I know—I wouldn’t just place you with anyone, Rey. Give me some credit.” Unable to watch her ice cream drip from the edge of her cup any longer, Ben began to clean up the mess. He spread the napkins out, wiping up the drying and sticky liquid from the table.

Rey leaned away, sitting slumped against the back of chair. Looking anywhere but him. “Who?”

“His name is Andrew Snoke, he was a professor of mine back in school. Very kind man, even took me in at one point when I was completing my internship. You’ll be fine there.”

Rey didn’t seem to believe him, her nose wrinkled. “Snoke? That rhymes with ‘smoke’.”

“And?”

She shrugged. “I don’t trust a man with a name that rhymes with something that can kill you.”

“You can’t judge someone based off of their name, Rey,” Ben scolded lightly. He set the crumpled and damp napkins on the corner of the table. “What if I judged you because your first name is spelled different from other ‘Rays’ or on your last name?”

“‘Johnson’ means ‘son of John’, maybe I am the descendant of some great John—like John Locke?”

Ben shook his head good-naturedly. “I highly doubt you are the descendant of John Locke, pretty sure he never had children.”

“Enlightenment was a wild time,” she said in defense.

“My point is don’t make a rash judgement,” Ben said, switching there ice creams. He had already scraped the edges of his cookies and cream before it melted off the side of the cup, still plenty of ice cream to be eaten. Rey dug her spoon in, eating the treat solemnly. “And you won’t be there long. Just until my mom gets back.”

“So bidding my time?”

“Yes,” Ben rolled his eyes, “view it as bidding your time, if you want. Like I said, you’ll be fine there. If anything, he’s going to just ask you to clean up after yourself. He’s very private man. Mostly keeps to himself.”

“Fine,” she grumbled. “Whatever.”

Neither knew how false Ben's opinion would be; instead, they finished their ice cream with ignorant promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wonder what that last line meant? *looks away, whistling*
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! :D


	9. Missing Phone Calls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There is mention/discussion of abuse, blood, potential sexual harassment/abuse. However nothing is explicit, such as it is not graphically depicted nor is there a scene where the events explicitly occur.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy.

* * *

 

 

 

She glanced at the house, then back at Ben.

"No."

"Rey," Ben sighed, dropping his head on the steering wheel. "It's temporary."

"Why does a man who lives alone, have a two story house?"

"He bought it with his wife, before she passed away," Ben explained. "They thought they were going to have kids."

"Oh," Rey uttered, looking the bit embarrassed by the reason. "Well, why not put it back on the market?"

"I don't know." Ben frowned. "It's hard to sell in a recession."

Rey pursed her lips, refusing to unbuckle her seatbelt. "Still weird."

"Still need to get out of the car," he said, not in the mood for an argument.

Huffing and puffing the entire way, Rey grabbed her backpack and duffle.

Ben followed closely behind, the two soon matching pace as they walked to the front door.

"Be nice," Ben reminded her as he rang the doorbell. Rey rolled her eyes.

"I'll only be nice if he isn’t a dick."

"Watch the language."

"Hypocrite," she spat.

The door swung open before Ben could respond.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Dropping her duffle down on the trunk with a thud, Rey turned back to Ben.

If possible, her frown deepened.

"He was eerily formal, 'Hello, Miss Johnson. It is a delight to house you Miss Johnson'—he's making me hate my name."

Ben winced. "He's been like that for as long as I've known him."

"It's creepy."

He found he couldn't argue with her. Over time he must have forgotten how imposing Snoke could be. He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel unsettled at the sight of the man. Imagining how Rey felt...Ben tried not to linger too much on the matter.

If he thought too long, then he'd second guess his decision, and if he second guess his decision, he'd buckle her safely back in the car and plan for an all-nighter, or several all-nighters in the office until he found a placement again. Because he’d been lucky to find her place so soon, let alone some he knew. One of Pava's new kids was supposed to come, but there was some last minute issues involving family members wanting foster the child. Luke gave him the address as soon as it was a available.

To fill the space and prolong his leave, Ben began to help her get settled.

He set her school supplies on the desk and plugged in her phone as she unpacked the clothes she could fit into her bag.

"I googled him," Rey said breaking the silence. She sat on her bed, hugging a old pilot teddy bear to her chest. "And I still think he's...odd," she muttered, eyes wide.

Ben decided if she was this adamant, the least he could do was hear her out. He took a seat beside her. "What made you think that?"

"He dates younger women," she said bluntly. "Like...girls who are his students," she stressed lowly, as though afraid the man himself would walk in.

Ben's brows furrowed. "What are you implying?" He didn't care to look into the man's previous relationships, and Snoke was in the system, had been a foster parent numerous times without incident.

"He's nearly sixty and he's dating girls barely out of high school. That makes me uncomfortable," she said, staring hard at her hands.

"Rey, he's not going to—"

"I'm just telling you how I feel, and I haven't even been here for an hour and I feel uncomfortable."

"His background check came back clean, Rey."

"That doesn't mean shit and you know it." Rey glanced back up at him, her hazel eyes reflecting back fear...a fear he was starting to feel settle into his own chest. "Please don't leave me here."

When she stared at him like that, pleading... Ben knew he was making the wrong decision leaving her there. Didn't matter if he knew Snoke in the past.

But he also knew couldn't move her without reason; after all, she just got there.

"Give it a week," Ben told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close, so only she could hear. "His background is clear and there hasn't been any issues with him in the past. But if you still feel this way, then I will figure something out."

 "Okay." She agreed, not necessarily happy, but willing to compromise. "A week."

"That's all I ask," Ben squeezed her shoulder, wishing he could do more. But at the moment this was all he could offer. "And if anything happens, _anything_ at all, call me." She nodded, folding into him for a hug.

He held her close for a moment, dreading to leave her when she was this nervous. But he knew Luke would have his head if he didn't at least follow through with a week when the foster home was adequate.

Without thinking he pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head. "Everything will work out, okay?"

She nodded, but her eyes said otherwise.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"No."

Ben should have expected the answer, but he thought his uncle would at least hear him out.

"But there has to be somewhere else we can put her?" Ben asked, "Anywhere else. I'd even take a group home."

"Ben, we can only fit so many kids in those homes," Luke rubbed his eyes, exhausted. "You know this."

 "But this is Rey we are talking about—"

"Who is just as important as any other kid in the system." His uncle's mouth pinched, he raising an eyebrow at Ben. "You don't act like this with your other cases. You're attached to her."

"I'm not." A flimsy, transparent lie.

"You know you are not supposed to get attached to the kids."

"I care about her. She was my first case."

"Yeah, you care about her _too much_ ," Luke countered, an air of disappointment wafting from him. "I'm not going to put her before other kids, _younger kids_ , just because she is your favorite."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Leave her there. Wait it out, it's only a couple of months. Then Leia will be back, she will be where you want her and all will be okay in Ben’s little world.” His condescending tone was not lost on Ben; his uncle wasn’t fond of the idea of Leia getting mixed back into social services. His nephew bending some rules to get his way didn’t help ease the tension either.

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, knowing he'd be jumping the gun. "How long do you think it would take for me to become a foster parent?"

"Don't do it, Ben." Luke sat up, no longer sighing and huffing, no longer believing Ben was throwing a hissy fit. Luke was serious; he meant business. "Don't do it unless you seriously want to take in kids other than Rey. Don't do it just for her, because your heart won’t be in the right place. You know this."

"Then what else can I do because she can't stay there, I don't feel comfortable with he there. And I've heard some things about him..." Ben made it clear and adamant he need to move Rey even though there was no distinct evidence.

"Just because you hear whispers doesn't mean they are true," Luke insisted.

"Please, Uncle."

Conflict radiated off of Luke in waves. Glancing at the closed door, sighed. "Sometimes...if you talk to other caseworkers, you might be able to find a placement."

"You mean bargain?" Ben asked, a little surprised his uncle, the head of his division, was suggesting this option.

"Not necessarily bargain," Luke winced, clearly not liking the term. "More so asking around, seeing which families and group homes are willing budge on their personal cap. Which ones will be having kids moving out soon...just listen around. That's my only advice. Everyone wants their case in a decent, happy home. And they will do what is in their power to do it." Luke shrugged. "And if you think Snoke is no good, then maybe someone knows something about him that you can use in your favor?"

Ben blinked.

"Are you actually trying to help me right now?"

"Stranger things have happened."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"I swear this kid is going to drive me insane," Poe muttered from the other side of the cubical. "Mara is another breed man— I don't know how you do it with these teenagers, I can barely handle one."

"Talk to them like adults," Ben suggested. “You probably try to throw candy at them to get them to shut up.”

Poe frowned at the jab, rustling through his own papers. “Everyone likes candy.”

Ben rolled his eyes; leave to Poe to really on candy and charm to get through to teenagers. He needed a bit more compassion and less spectacle, though telling Mr. Hot-Shot that wasn’t going to help anyone. Ben was staying late, filing paper work and answering emails he neglected throughout the week...and doing the whole listening thing his Uncle suggested.

Which turned out to be more difficult than expected.

"Most teenagers hate being talked to like children,” Ben elaborated, earning a bored expression from Poe.  

"Doesn't she age out soon?" Another voice chimed in.

Peeking in from the other side of Ben's cubical was Jessika Pava.

"Yeah," Poe muttered, twisting around in his chair to speak to her. "She just wants to leave already. But her birthday isn't for another couple of weeks. She hates group homes."

"Group home?" Ben asked.

 "Yeah, Ahsoka Tano's group home—"

"Does she have room for one more?" Ben hoped he didn’t sound a little too desperate.

"Why? Your kid causing hell?" Pava asked.

Jessika Pava was known to take on the ‘problem’ children. The one’s who fought back, acted out, had a few too many close run-ins with the law, but handled them like a pro. She listened, gave sound advice and would occasionally follow up with the ones who aged out of the system, making sure they weren’t getting into too much trouble. She cared, but had a knack for keeping her big heart under wraps. Not to mention she was practically a human lie detector, able to crack a kid within seconds.

However, she loved to hear a good story or two from her colleagues.

"She...just feels uncomfortable at the home she's at," Ben answered vaguely. "She thinks her foster parent is creepy—"

"Is it Snoke?" Pava asked bluntly. Poe winced at the name. "I heard you snagged that house once I dropped it," Pava leaned back in her chair, an air of sage wisdom to her with casualness on the matter. "How’s she liking it?"

"Hating it."

"Figured. That fucker gives me the creeps."

"You should get her out of there," Poe interjected without warning, suddenly invested in the conversation. "If it's the same Snoke I think it is, you should _definitely_ move her. My friend Winter had him as prof for a psych class and he constantly came on to her— apparently he has a thing for younger girls."

Ben’s gut sank at the news, a prickle of sweat spiking behind his neck. "I never noticed that when I was his student."

"That's because you're a dude," Jessika sat up, she more visible over the short wall. "You don’t have a built in-radar for that shit."

"No one has reported anything though."

"Because it slips through the cracks," she said, a sour sadness seeping in her words. "No one probably takes the girls who _do_ try to report it seriously."

Both men glanced at each other, fearful of what this meant. Ben knew of the horror stories—young girls harmed, abused, harassed by foster families. Silenced, not able to speak for themselves and when they did speak up, they were ignored.

Ben did not want that to become of Rey.

Jessika shook her head. "I second with Poe. Get her out as soon as you can."

"If it’s for Rey, I'll see if Ahsoka can take another kid. She's at her cap, but I think I can convince her to take another since Mara _is_ leaving soon."

"Use that Dameron charm," Pava winked at him. "Make all the middle aged ladies swoon."

Poe stood and bowed dramatically, Jessika giggling wildly at the display. "I try Jess, I try."

"So you _can_ get her in?" Ben asked, a little relieved. He might be able to keep his ‘just a week’ promise.

"Just tell your kid to hold tight. I'll try," Poe promised. "But Solo, this is an IOU situation. Be ready to pay when I ask."

“Whatever you need,” Ben vowed, will to do anything to resolve the situation.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When a week rolled around, Ben called Rey to check in with her.

He’d been planning to do so earlier in the week but had been caught up with work. He tried not to beat himself up over not calling her sooner, knowing Rey was no doubt busy with her own life. She had school, her finals just around the corner and her soccer practices in the afternoon. The girl knew how to keep herself productive.

Plus, Ben dreaded telling her the news; she have to stay a few days longer.

Despite finding a solution to his Rey placement predicament, they were now in the waiting game. Ben and Poe were still smoothing details over with Ahsoka, the woman not quite ready to bring in a new child, but in the process of setting up another bed and space for her.

So when Rey didn’t answer his call the first time, Ben thought nothing of it.

Busy girl, busy life; it happens.

But then it happened a second time, later in the day. Then a third time the following day, and then a fourth time.

And the fifth time, Ben knowing something wasn’t right.

Rey wasn’t one to ignore Ben’s calls—multiple calls, spanning several days. Not even on her worst days, when she was upset with him or drowning in schoolwork did she ignore all attempts of communication. Usually she’d send a text to shut him up.

Ben tried not to panic. He could get a hold of her, he just needed to go about it through a different means.

Using his caseworker authority, he called Snoke—

Only to have the number go to voicemail three times.

Ben broke the pen in his hand.

Pave sent him a curious look while passing by his desk; he ignored it.

“Hey Dr. Snoke—this is Ben Solo, Rey’s caseworker. I was calling to uh…to set up an appointment—a scheduled visit. I’ll be stopping by later this week to check in on placement, see how she is settling in. If you get this please call me back, or have Rey call me back. Thanks.”

He hung up the phone more forcibly than he intended, restraining himself from throwing his phone against the goddamn wall.

Maybe he was over thinking the situation. Letting his anxieties take control.

But Ben had never seen Poe become nervous from a name until Snoke. Jessika rarely agreed with Poe until the mention of Snoke. Rey had never looked so…paranoid until she was in that house. Sure, she had her own worries and expectations, but she’d never gave him _a look_ —a look that said ‘I don’t feel safe’.

However the last straw of his rationality disappeared when he received a call from an unknown number around ten o’clock at night.

“Um, is this…Mr. Solo—uh Ben?” An unfamiliar girl’s voice said over the phone. “Um, Rey gave me this number in case…well in case of an emergency.”

Ben paused in the kitchen, about to make himself a late night snack of cereal. Setting down the milk, he pressed the cell phone closer to his ear.

“May I ask who is calling?” he asked, attempting to sound calmer than he felt.

“Kay—Kaydel Ko Connix. I’m one of Rey’s teammates, uh friends. I just…just tell her she needs to come in to practice tomorrow or she is going to be kicked off the team—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Ben blundered out, “What do you mean ‘ _kicked off the team’_? She’s your guys best player—”

“She hasn’t been to practice in two weeks without a note,” Kaydel explained, frantic. “Our coach has always been understanding of Rey’s situation and knows she had to move a few weeks back, but Rey was always good at getting right back on track.”

“She hasn’t been to practice for two weeks?” he uttered, knowing his voice was raising ever so slightly. His feet began to move without thought, Ben grabbing is coat, wallet and keys in a hurry. “What about school—has she been to school?”

“I…I don’t know. We don’t have the same classes. But some of the other girls’ said they haven’t been seeing her around either,” Kaydel gave a shaky breath, the poor girl trying to keep herself composed. “Mr. Solo I uh, I wouldn’t be calling if I wasn’t scared because well, I’m scared for her.  She’s never like this—she always answers her phone, she doesn’t miss practice—”

“Kaydel,” Ben began tying the shoes he kicked off earlier back on, “I need you to take a quick breath and I need you to confirm a few things for me—you haven’t seen Rey in how long?”

“About two weeks.”

“No school? No practice?”

“Right.”

“Okay…” Ben inhaled deeply, heading out the door. “And she hasn’t been answering you phone calls?”

“She hasn’t been answering _anyone’s_ phone calls.” Great, so it wasn’t just him she was ignoring. But her entire team and then some.

“Kaydel, I’m going to need you to tell your parents you called me because…because,” Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek. He couldn’t tell a scared teen she might need to be brought in for questioning if Rey turned out to be missing. A horrible thought to think she could be missing, but this wouldn’t be the first time.

However, this felt different.

This felt…the missing in action, lack of contact, the not so randomness of it all…Rey’s lack of appearance and communication felt out of her control.

“Kaydel, just let your parents know your worries about Rey. And that you called her caseworker. They should know.”

And with that, Ben hung up, determined to pull Rey from that house if it was the last thing he did.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben knocked on the door.

And knocked, and knocked.

Yet no one answered.

The windows were closed and locked.

All the lights were off, to be expected around one in the morning. Calls were made, reports were being drawn, and Ben had every right to remove Rey from the home if he thought she was being harmed.

And that was all he was working with—a frantic phone call from a teen with several other teen girls supporting her, a few reports about Snoke’s interactions with children fallen to the wayside and tucked away by who knows who, and a few vocal women on social media who confirmed and were willing to be question on the stance that ‘yes, they had been sexual harassed and/or harmed by Dr. Andrew Snoke.’ Yet the only strong stand Ben had against Snoke was child neglect due to Rey’s lack of school attendance once switching homes. And a potential missing child case.

“Snoke—open the door or I am going to need to resort to authorities!”

Ben’s knocks thundered.

“ _SNOKE_!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Around five in the morning, Ben had come upon nothing.

No sign of Rey.

Nothing at all.

Except for her phone. A confiscated item. Her phone which Snoke took from her as ‘punishment.’

She hadn’t had it since the first night of her stay.

All her few belongings were gone from Snoke’s. The house was searched high and low, an investigation set forth once it was revealed Rey hadn’t been around for at least three days and a towel stained with dried blood was found into her closet.

Snoke claimed the girl attacked him—'feral scavenger’ was the term he used. Yet there wasn’t a scratch or bruise, just a mild head injury.

Rey…well they didn’t know the status of Rey. Missing in action.

Apparently the kid had the right mind to get out when she could.

“I shouldn’t have left her there,” Ben mumbled, his voice horse.

“You thought you were doing the right thing,” Luke said, his words attempting to comfort. The two sat in the break room, drinking what may have been their fourth pot of coffee that morning. Waiting for more news, take a moment to breathe after a long night.

Ben’s frown deepened, he glaring down into his Styrofoam coffee cup. “No—I didn’t want to put her there. I adamantly told you I wanted her out of there—”

Luke sighed, dropping his face into his palms. “We didn’t have evidence—”

“Fuck evidence. I thought she wasn’t safe—I should have just made an executive decision,” he mumbled, feeling a sting of exhausted and pained tears behind his eyes. “Fuck I should have just adopted her years ago like I’ve been thinking about forever so she never had to experience this shit—”

“But you wouldn’t want to be her parent—”

“No, but I would have kept her _safe_ ,” Ben spat, eyes blazing with furry.  At himself, at Luke, at every single person who couldn’t do their fucking job and just care for the girl. “I could have kept her safe, I could have given her a home, somewhere where she didn’t need to run away.”

His uncle’s lips pursed, a flurry of disappointment and years old aggravation pulling on his weary face. “If she comes back…if she is found…I’m removing her from your caseload.” Luke held his hand up, stopping Ben from spouting out any more cries. “I am sick and tired of this merry-go round with you and her—you’re too attached. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it is something _far more_ than attachment. Watch yourself, Ben.”

“ _Then I quit.”_

Silence fell over the two men.

Ben swallowed, daring himself to face his uncle.

Shell-shocked was the only adequate way to describe Luke, followed by dismay.

“I’ll turn in my two weeks’ notice on Monday. I’ll find other caseworks to take my kids,” Ben said through his tears. Slowly he stood up from his chair, feeling his uncle’s eyes on him with every move he made. “I…I know I am a jerk for quitting when I have other kids to worry about,” he sniffed, wiping his face with the back of his hand, “And I fucking love this job, and I mean that with all seriousness. I love the kids, I love finding them a place where they belong even if its just for a little bit…but I can’t do this again. It’d _crush_ me,” he gritted out, a empty chuckle escaping him as he struggled to catch his breath. “So I’m tapping out now…because…because I don’t want to fucking become you Uncle, _desensitize_ to this shit. I can’t allow that to happen.”

Without another word, Ben left the break room.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Splashing water on his face, Ben scrubbed furiously at his skin. The cool water did little to wake him, but he had some paperwork to work through if he wanted to leave in a couple of weeks.

And work…work did a decent job of getting his mind off of Rey and the fact he quit the only job he ever wanted—ever had a _passion_ for—in his life. Because he made a rash decision and he wasn’t going to back away from said decision. Especially when he was seeing a ghost of Christmas future in the form of his Uncle Luke,

On autopilot, Ben dried off his face with a rough paper towel and tossed it into the trash bin without seeing if he made it. Exiting the restroom, he made way to march to his cubical without incident—

Only to be rammed in the back with a lithe body and firm, skinny arms.

Lifting his arms, Ben peeked under to find _Rey_ burrowing herself into his side. Her chestnut hair was matted and disarrayed, a few leaves and twigs caught in the strands. A dried, scabbing mark decorated the beginning of her hairline. Not deep enough to need stitches, but large enough to cause a surmountable drip of blood—enough to stain a hand towel.

His trembling hand removed each and everyone one, still attempting to comprehend she was _there_.

She was there. With him. Hugging him, holding him as though her life depended on it.

A shaky exhaled powered through his lungs, Ben blinking down at her in wonder. “Rey—what—how—I—”

A cracking, weighty sob emitted from her, she not looking up at him.

Wrapping his arms around her, Ben buried his face in her neck, _relieved_ tears soaking her hair and sweater.

Talking and questions could be saved for later…his girl was home. And he need to be there for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Rey, my sweet baby. We'll get more into the ramifications of everything this chapter caused in the next update. THEN THE TIME JUMP. EKK.
> 
> Did anyone catch we never actually met Snoke? Never had a single scene with him in this chapter. And we won't ever have a scene with him in this fic. And I will confirm now, just to settle any nerves, Snoke did NOT sexual assault Rey but he did try. But she injured him and ran away before anything could happen.
> 
> And the reason Ben couldn't do anything sooner for Rey was because lack of evidence and placement. It's implied previous women/girls have tried to report Snoke, yet they were never taken seriously or may have been to afraid to be vocal about it. An unfortunate truth in some cases. And Ben never noticed Snoke was like this because he's never HAD to be aware.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Comments and kudos are always appreciated! Love discussing the fic with readers.


	10. Dog Days Are Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT A CHAPTER BEFORE THE DAY IS OVER? TWO IN A DAY?
> 
> Yeah, because I can't go into the weekend without posting this.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later! 
> 
> Enjoy.

* * *

 

 

“ _Buddy_!”

Ben winced at the shout.

A few bystanders in the dinner glanced at his direction, their expressions ranging from perturbed to curious. Leave it to Poe to make a scene wherever he went.

Ducking his head down, Ben picked up his pace. Once he reached the table, he slid into the booth.

"What no hug, Solo?" Poe agonized. Hands clutching his chest, he sighed like a debutante. "Am I just choppes liver to you?"

"Nice to see you too, Poe," Ben grumbled. "But you and I both know this isn’t a leisure visit."

"Humor me," Poe picked up his coffee, taking a healthy sip. "How is the new job?"

“The school system is a little nicer than child protection services,” Ben confessed, “Still get to work with kids. Mostly work with the foster children, a couple of kid’s verging on dropping out. Some mental health stuff; it’s mostly free counselling, making sure they show up for school and try.”

“Sounds…like a lot,” Poe remarked, dumping more sugar into his coffee. “I mean, you have to deal with a whole bunch of kids with a thousands of problems.”

“Not much different except I get summers off and can sleep with more of clear conscious that I am not going to rip someone from a home they like,” Ben deadpanned. He glanced at the other mug on the table, untouched. “Did you order already?”

Poe hummed, adding his fourth sugar pack into his mug. He was never much of a coffee drinker, but would drink it if it was there. “It’s just plain coffee. Some toast and bacon are on the way. Thought some sustenance would be nice.”

“Late night?”  Ben asked knowingly, pouring some half and half into his mug.

“Picked up a kid on the east side of town last night, dropped her off this morning with the Ticos. It’s only a few days before the grandparents are cleared to take her in,” Poe answered as though he didn’t spend the better part of the night awake with a toddler.

Luckily their toast and bacon arrived, Poe eating the latter greedily. Ben ordered more bacon and side of biscuits and gravy. He had a feeling his former co-worker would need more than just the bacon and toast.

“How is the old-new apartment?” Poe asked mid-bite.

“Good, good,” Ben said with a half hearted mumble.

It was strange living in his mom’s old apartment. After Han’s case debacle, his parents were reevaluating their marriage, Han’s ‘work,’ and several other matters concerning their rocky family life, they decided to move. They were five hours away by car, just a state over, but Ben felt the distance more than ever.

“I painted the bathroom.”

“No longer that weird off green color?”

“It’s blue now.”

“Nice,” Poe nodded gratefully. “And the extra bedroom? All set up, because last time I visited it looked like you were struggling putting together the loft bed—”

“Yes it is set up,” Ben rolled his eyes. “Everything is set up, Jess cleared and approved everything since you were busy.”

“Well then,” his friend huffed, reaching into his satchel. “I guess I can give you these now.” He passed over the manila folder. “Nothing is official, just need a couple more signatures, but here is a copy. But dude, overall, you’re approved and she will be yours by the end of summer.”

Ben grinned taking the forms. “Perfect. I figured adoption was _maybe_ a step better than fostering.”

For once, he finally felt he was doing Rey right. He was giving her what she always wanted; a family.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"I still can't get over the fact you're graduating early," Rose groaned as Rey drove her and Kaydel back to their respective house. With her being the only one with her license and oddly enough a car, she found herself the designated driver to all events as well as to and from school. "Only a week and half and then the end!" Rose gushed from the passenger seat.

Kaydel shared her sentiments. “I know! It’s not fair—I wish I was genius and could graduate early.”

Rolling her eyes, Rey tried her best to be modest. “I’m _not_ a genius, I just happen to work ahead all the time—” Working ahead so there was never the instance of falling behind, but of course her friends often disregarded the tiny detail, or thought nothing of it.

“She’s always excelled in school, Kay,” Rose interjected before Rey made poor attempts at humility. Her oldest friend believed her intellect and hard work were to be celebrated, not forgotten for the sake of humbleness. “She was the one who always helped me with my homework—I think if Rey really wanted to, she could go to any school of her choosing.”

“And I am going to one of my choosing!” Rey argued.

"Yeah, community college,” Kaydel grumbled, less than pleased with the news. “When you got into the ever prestigious _Naboo University_. Still can’t believe you turned that down.”

Flicking on her blinker harder than she intended, Rey forced herself to hum along with Lady Gaga’s _Edge of Glory_ instead of snapping back at her friends.

She didn’t want to turn down Naboo University—she’d be an idiot to turn down Naboo University. But she was still in the system, would be until she turned eighteen.  Not to mention she worried about its affordability. Rey knew she qualified for financial aid, loans, and plenty of scholarships but the looming stress and worry of it all caused her to push the school further away.

With a heavy heart she simply told everyone she didn’t get into her dream school, not wanting them ( i.e. _Ben_ ) to push her to go to Naboo despite the cost, saying they’d _take care_ _of it_ , and put more of a burden on them.

She was tired of being a burden.

Not just Ben.

To anyone.

The only reason Kaydel and Rose knew was because they went sifting through her backpack for extra pens during class a few weeks back.

“But see—me going to community college means I get to stay _close_. You guys have nothing to worry about me leaving or anything—I’ll be here.”

‘ _Forever’_ , her brain supplied readily.

Rose squinted at her. "But you’re going to be like a real _adult_."

"No, I'm not. I'm still seventeen and I'm _still_ going to be in system,” she gritted out without realizing.

Rose and Kaydel fell silent. Both seemed to slump and duck their heads in shame. Rose pursed her lips, no doubt thinking of a way to fix the conversation while Kaydel froze in her ‘ _oh shit’_ face, chewing her upper lip until raw.

Rey mentally kicked herself for her aggravated response. She just had to ruin the moment by bringing up her situation, like a ‘woe is me’ case she tried so hard to not be.

“I know. But it's not like you'll be in the group home any longer. Didn’t Ben want to foster you?" Rose asked, her voice hedging on a cross between pity and hope.

"He's been saying that for over a year, but it's probably not going to happen," Rey said explain casually, hoping she didn’t sound too disappointed.

"Rey..." Rose said softly, some speech about hope, love, joy—whatever the fuck—inevitably on the tip of her tongue.

However, Rey simply was not in the mood to hear it. She knew Ben and his pipe dream promises.

Ever since the ‘Creepy Fucker Incident,’ Rey not so charmingly called it, Ben was…a bit much.

Both in a good way _and_ a bad way.

He spent less time with her. Which was a given considering he was no longer her caseworker and his mother was no longer her foster parent.

Then there was the fact he quit being a caseworker all together. To say she wasn’t upset would be lie, but after some time she found herself able to accept the new normal. Poe Dameron became her caseworker after Ben’s departure, a little relief considering Ben somewhat trusted the man to do her well in his place.

Of course Ben’s new job factored the most into them spending less time together. His  work involved different hours, a different schedule and location, and simply a different level of stress from Ben.

But he liked it, so Rey couldn’t complain too much.

However with less time together, meant the time they _did_ spend together was meaningful.

Saturday mornings now included a soccer scrimmage one-on-one. Sometimes they’d go to the movie theatres and see a new film, instead of Ben mentioning it fleetingly at dinner before rushing off to prep for court the next day. Ice cream was no longer designated for ‘bad news,’ but for a fun afternoon treat. On Sundays if Ben or her didn’t already have plans, she’d come over and teach him how to make real food. She learned all too quickly after the transition from ‘caseworker and foster child’ to purely ‘friends’, Ben lived off of take-out leftovers and cereal. Movie and game nights became a _thing_ (Ben was aggressively competitive, he nearly knocking over a bowl of popcorn in a rather tame game of _UNO_ ) conversations finally moved on from how she was doing in her latest placement to more personal topics.

Rey felt for the first time she was learning Ben Solo—all his quirks, likes and dislikes, his flaws…

And she loved them all. She loved him.

But she obviously couldn’t tell him that.

 _Never_.

"It's the truth. It's fine. Ahsoka isn’t that bad. And I’m fine not living with Ben. It is completely and utterly fine," she hummed off tune to the music, "Plus it'd be weird living with him."

"He's like your best friend."

"No, you guys are my best friends. He's..." Rey shrugged, hating how her face heated up. "He's...Ben."

Kaydel perked, popping her head between Rey and Rose. "Are you saying he's _your_ Ben?"

"No," Rey spat, hands gripping the steering wheel tighter. "I'm just saying it's _different_ with Ben because he's known me forever and looks out for me... _ya know_ ,” she said casually, giving a nonchalant half-shrug.

“Uh, huh.” Kaydel leaned back into her seat, eyes narrowed on Rey. “Because everyone doesn’t think of their hot guy friend in a _more than_ a friend way.”

Rey huffed. “He’s ten years old than me.”

“All the more reason why you probably think about it!” Kaydel shot back.

“Kay!” Rose scolded through giggles. “Ben’s like…I don’t know, an older brother to her. That’s gross.”

“Yeah, so gross,” Rey parroted back, fiddling with the radio. “Come on, Kaydel. Let’s be real—O! I like this song!”

Happy to change the subject, Rey turned up Florence and the Machine’s _Dog Days Are Over_ , singing along over her friends grumbles and giggles.

 

_“The dog days are over_

_The dog days are done_

_The horses are coming so you better run…”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ben knocked twice, Ahsoka opening the door with a tired smile.

“I should have known it was you,” she teased, opening the door wider for him. Her kimono flowed with each movement, lazily slicing the air. Ben recalled his Uncle saying the woman had once upon a time been close with his grandfather, but seeing the stern yet free spirted foster mother, it was difficult to believe. “Right at seven o’clock on the dot—how you early birds do it, I’ll never know.”

Stepping into the house, Ben closed the door behind him before following Ahsoka to the kitchen. Most of the kids in the house were still asleep, except for the littlest one—Margo—only four and staring at the television as if it were a god.

While she wasn’t one of his cases, Ben had been the one to initially pick up Margo almost a two years previous. Miraculously the girl recognized him, waving at him happily whenever he picked up Rey on Saturday mornings.

Ahsoka walked over to the curly haired girl and handed her a juice pouch with a pat on the head. Margo barely blinked at her foster mother, sipping her juice with fervor.

“Surprised you and Rey are going to out to play this early,” Ahsoka picked back up her coffee, sipping at a leisure pace. “She _did_ just graduate from high school last night.”

“I know I was there,” Ben reminded her, serving himself a coffee from the warm pot. “But she insisted.”

“Sounds like her,” Ahsoka muttered in agreement. Her lips then quirked, mischievous. “Poe told me the good news. Looks like I’ll be having one less kid.”

Ben froze, a low exhale coming from his nose. “That gossip.”

“Worse than the biddies I tell you,” she chuckled. “But I’m happy for you—for both of you. She deserves a good home with someone she loves like family. You _are_ her family, Ben.”  

“I’m glad you feel the same about the situation,” Ben admitted with a wave of relief.

“So when are you telling her?”

“Today,” he answered. “Taking her to get some ice cream, then breaking out the papers.”

“This might be the sweetest graduation gift I’ve ever heard of,” Ahsoka sighed. “I wish there more compassionate people like you—your grandfather would undoubtedly done the same thing. He had a big heart under all that angst.”

Ben refrained from commenting on his grandfather; he heard enough contradicting stories about Anakin to last a lifetime. Whether the subject be good or bad, he was undeniably compared to him. A man he never knew, and maybe never wanted to know.

A tell-tale sign of feet hurrying down the stairs alerted the two of Rey incoming presence. Less than a minute later she popped into the kitchen, grabbing an apple.

Biting into it, she raised an eyebrow at the two adults. “What are you guys staring at me like that?” she asked, mouth full and chomping.

“I’m a stare-er Rey, we’ve been over this,” Ahsoka taunted, turning on her heel to join Margo in the living room. “Text me when you’re coming back. And for a grad gift, I’ll push curfew back an hour.”

Rey’s eyes lit up. “Thank you, Ahsoka.” She then spun back around to Ben. “Why are you drinking coffee? We have to get going.”

Before he could respond, she was already pulling him out the door.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I still can’t get over how I completely _crushed_ you!” Rey cheered as they entered the downtown ice cream shop. “You barely got one goal in—and we played for over two hours!”

After picking her up, Rey and Ben’s morning took a slight detour. They stopped by a _Starbucks_ —much to Ben’s chagrin—on their way to their favorite park on the other side of town. While normally Ben would deny such a request, he caved when she played the ‘graduation’ card. To prevent his taste buds from being scarred forever, he ordered a plain coffee while Rey ordered some sugar infested drink that had more foam than espresso. This of course led to an argument in the parking lot over Ben’s hipster coffee tastes and Rey’s childish caffeine choices.

They didn’t end up at the park until a little after eight in the morning. Only to find their usual spot had been overran by a capture the flag game involving some alums from University of Coruscant. So the two hiked over a trail away to another clearing to set up their one-on-one game.

A game where Ben lost dramatically so, to the point where Rey wouldn’t shut up about it through lunch and subsequently their dessert.

“I get it—you won by a landslide,” Ben grumbled with a eyeroll. He swore, the older she became the more she finally allowed herself to act like a child. “Now pick your ice cream before I decide you don’t deserve it.”

Rey immediately shut her mouth after that.

Once they made their selections—cookies and cream for Ben and chocolate chip cookie dough for Rey— and paid, the two sat in their usual spots across from one another by the main window. Digging into her ice cream, Rey hummed under her breath, happy and carefree for once.

The last year did a number on her, she a bit skittish and guarded for a better half a year after the ‘Creepy Fucker Incident’. It took some time and a couple therapy sessions, but Rey was moving on. No more sleepless nights, no more worried glances at men passing by… she was able to breathe and walk through life a little easier.

A relief, honestly. He’d been more than worried for her.

Seeing her relaxed and humming delightfully, Ben decided _now_ was the perfect opportunity.

“I got you a graduation present.”

Her head cocked to the side, eyebrows furrowed. “A grad present? Why—I thought this,” she motioned to the ice cream, “was my graduation present.”

“I buy you ice cream all the time, I don’t think it is that substantial.” Ben attempted to calm his rapid, beating heart. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the papers. With trembling hands he unfolded the forms and pushed it towards her.

Frowning, Rey picked up the paper, scanning the page—

Only to drop it less than a second later.

She blinked slowly at the page, then back up at Ben.

Her eyes flared with panic— _why panic?_ —and hurt.

“You want to adopt me?” she croaked out. She swallowed tightly, eyes darting between him and the papers. “Why the _hell_ do you want to adopt me?” she spat, unable to hide her anger.

Ben flinched—this wasn’t how she was supposed to react.

She was supposed to be ecstatic. She was supposed to hug him. She was supposed to be happy—happy that they’d be a family.

Not…hurt. Disappointed…betrayed.

“Because that’s what you’ve _always_ wanted,” Ben explained plainly, not caring if his tone became callous. “Since you were a kid you always wanted me to foster you, to adopt you, to take care of you Rey. This is me taking care of you.”

She shook her head furiously, her eyes glassing over. “No—” she shoved the paper’s back at him, “—I don’t want this—I don’t want you to adopt me.”

“What?” Ben breathed, at a loss. “What do you mean you don’t want me to adopt you—you said we are family, this is me making us family—”

“I don’t _want_ it!” she insisted, her words verging on frantic. “If you adopt me, you’ll— _ugh_ —you’ll be like my dad!” Rey’s disgust was palpable, she practically withering in dismay at the thought. “And I don’t want you to be my dad—”

“I _never_ saw it like that,” Ben was quick to defend; he had no idea where this sudden animosity was coming from. “We’d be like siblings or I don’t know, cousins—but that’s not the point—the _point is_ I am trying to make us a family because we are each other’s family! You’ve always said we are family, this is me trying to make you happy.”

“Well I don’t want it like _this_.”

Abruptly, Rey stood up. She tossed her backpack over her shoulder and tucked her phone into her pocket before marching out the door.

Without a second thought, Ben chased after her.

“Where the hell do you think you are going?” he called after her. “I drove us here!”

She turned around, walking backwards to still keep distance between them. “Home! I’ll take the bus—just,” she shook her head, tears rebelling and streaming down her face, “—just leave me alone! _Please_! I need to be alone.”

The crosswalk turned on, Rey dashing down the street before Ben could get in another word.

Gone in a flash.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After a bus ride and thirty minute walk, Rey didn’t get home until after five in the afternoon.

She didn’t go through the front door. Instead, she snuck in through the back. Upon entering the house, she passed the boys playing video games in the living room, she ran past the kitchen where Ahsoka and the two unfortunate souls of the evening were making dinner, she tiptoed by the young girls playing dolls and make-up in one of the upstairs rooms.

She stopped by Ahsoka’s office, grabbed the binder with her name labeled on the side and left back into the hall.

Within moments she made it to her room, one she shared with little Margo, the two the odd ones out age-wise.

Quietly and silently, Rey packed her belongings. Folded her clothes and shoved all her paperwork and files into her duffle bag. Her shoes were next, jammed in awkwardly. A few pictures were placed on the top after; she zipped it closed. Her backpack followed the same pattern, only she tucked her savings—all the money she stashed from gifts, from her summer jobs, from odd jobs, to change she found in the cushions—into a hidden pocket. Ducking under the bed, she pulled out an unused garbage bag. Sheets, a pillow, and blankets were crushed in, her pilot bear lost in the bag amongst the chaos. She pulled the plastic strings tight, knotting the garbage bag closed.

Her entire existence was packed away into a backpack, a duffle, and a garbage bag.

Like it had been all her life.

And Rey felt nothing but muted grief at the sight.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Sometimes kids don’t react well to the news—I just didn’t expect _Rey_ to be one of them,” Ben confessed to Poe over the phone. Reaching into the fridge, he pulled out a beer. He popped off the cap, taking a long sip before speaking again. “She wanted this right? I’m not crazy—she’s been saying she wanted us to be family since forever—I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“Maybe she just wants to age out—maybe she has ODD?”

Ben scoffed. “I’d _know_ if she had oppositional defiant disorder—I was her caseworker longer than you.”

“I’m just saying, she could have a mild case—”

A knock came from Ben’s door.

Followed an insistent series of knocks.

Ben had a strong feeling of who it could be.

“I’ll call you back,” he muttered. “I think she’s here.” Hanging up the phone, Ben took his time walking to the door, letting her sit in her guilt.

Just as another knock started, Ben opened the door. Rey’s fist smacked the middle of his chest; her hazel eyes widened at the sight of him and not the door. He caught her hand against him and frowned down at her, hoping to mask the hurt he still felt from that afternoon.

“Are you coming here to apologize or—"

His words were cut short by a sloppy press of lips. Rey yanked him down to her level, pursing her lips firmly against his with an abundance of effort.

And he remained frozen, his mouth responding by dormant reaction than anything else.

Feeling his lack of movement, Rey gradually pulled away, biting her lips together.

Shame, delight, and panic flashed in her eyes as she stared back at him, still close. His hand remaining clasped over hers.

“That’s why you can’t adopt me,” she breathed. “Because…because I lov—”

Ben dropped her hand, taking a step back. He swallowed tightly, wanting to look away from her but unable to as she stared back at him as if he held her whole world.

“Please don’t,” his words came out as whimper, a hand latching on to door for strength. An anchor to reality. “Please, for the love of god, don’t say it.”

“But I _do_.”

Ben shook his head, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “No, no—you can’t. You don’t even know what love _is_ —”

“Seriously? That’s going to be your fucking argument,” she said, inhaling and exhaling deeply—trying to calm herself. “Because that’s bullshit. You know that’s bullshit—”

Ben blinked furiously, not liking how fast his heart was beating. The blood rushed to his ear drums, a crashing of waves of an ocean he didn’t know he was swimming in. One he didn’t know he wadded through until she came knocking on his door. “You think you—you have feelings for me because I am the only one whose ever shown you compassion—”

“ _Bullshit_!” she growled. Palms splayed on his chest, she pushed him. He barely budged. “Fucking _bullshit_!”

“Rey—you need to stop.”

She shoved again. “No you need to fucking stop—because—because you are lying to yourself because I can’t be the _only one_ who feels like this! I _can’t_ ,” she gasped out between a break of sobs.

“Rey, your seventeen—”

“And I don’t fucking care!”

“Well I do!” he bellowed back. “I do fucking care, because I’m not some sicko like Snoke—”

“Are you really bring that fucking creepier into this conversation—” she barked an empty laugh. “You’re _nothing_ like him—”

“—I’m not going to be with some _younger_ girl—”

“Oh, I’m a younger girl now—just _some younger girl_ —”

“ _Stop fucking twisting my words_!”

“Well stopping fucking twisting your own emotions!” she shot back, wiping away at her face limply. “I love you, Ben. I do—I really do, and I don’t understand why you won’t accept that.”

Frustrated, Ben licked his lips, staring back at her.

He refused to say anything back, knowing his silence was answer enough. Knowing his silence would break her fragile heart.

“Okay,” Rey croaked after a moment of just standing there. Both just staring at the other, unable to say anything to make the situation better—he wasn’t going to say he loved her like she loved him, and she wasn’t going to take back what she said. They were at an impasse. “I only came here to tell you I am leaving.”

Her words were a slap in the face. “What?” Ben uttered, his grip on the door tightening. “What do you mean leave—”

“Leave as in I am going away,” she explained between hiccups. She wiped her nose behind her hand again, smearing snot on her jeans. “I…I can’t be here anymore.”

“Of course you can be here—”

“No I fucking can’t and you just put the nail in the coffin,” she said, holding her head higher. Acting as though she were determined with her choice, as if this was what she wanted. And maybe it was. “There is nothing for me here—I’m just the sad, pathetic orphan girl, the one who is completely and desperately in love with her former caseworker and everyone fucking knows it except whoopdi-fucking-do, _him_.”

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek, at a loss of what to say.

“My things are already packed,” she continued, gaining more confidence with each word. “Gas is in the car and I found a place to crash—"

“So you’re what? Going to just runaway?” Ben finally finding his voice in this mess. “Go off—forget about college? Leave your life here?”

Rey sighed—tired, exhausted, lonely—“ _What life_?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Around nine at night Ben got a call from Ahsoka.

He told her he hadn’t seen Rey since that afternoon.

Another call came soon after, this time from Poe.

He told him he’d been wrong. It wasn’t Rey at the door. He hadn’t seen her since that afternoon.

Luke called—Ben gave the same answer.

Call after call, he gave the same response.

Because if leaving made Rey happy— _if running away from her life made her happy_ —then Ben was going to do all in his power to help.

Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for the people you love?

 

 

* * *

 

 

The ride was silent.

The Falcon jerked here and there, Rey still struggling to command the machine to her will, yet she pressed on. It was her only mode of transportation.

It was weird watching the town she grew up in fade in the rearview mirror. All she ever knew, going-going-gone in a few quick miles.

A shaky breath escaped her.

It was weird to be in her car and not hear Kay or Rose giggle. Or one of the little kids from the home talking her ear off as she drove them to school or around to the corner store for slurpies.

She took a deep breath and merged on to the highway.

It was going to be weird not calling Ben. Not seeing him. Not thinking of him—

Who was she kidding? She was always going to be thinking of him.

Swallowing a sob, Rey turned on the radio. Florence and the Machine’s _Dog Days Are Over_ thrummed through the crackling speakers.

_“Run fast for your mother, and fast for your father_

_Run for your children, for your sisters and your brothers_

_Leave all your love and your loving behind_

_Can't carry it with you if you want to survive…”_

And Rey hummed along.

Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SAD. So many emotions. I can't even.  
> but now...  
> TIME JUMP.
> 
> I'll show you where we land next chapter. I'll just say it is less than ten years but more than two. Take your guess. The time jump will be present day 2019, so if you know your music trivia, you'll be able to figure out what year we are currently in and how long the jump will be ;)
> 
> Also, where do you think Rey went? I think it is fairly obvious...but more importantly WHERE AND WHO WILL SHE BE AFTER THE TIME JUMP.
> 
> AND WHAT ABOUT BEN??? 
> 
> I purposely left some major thoughts out during their big argument. It's stuff we can dig through later.
> 
> Anyways...
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing fic with readers! :D


	11. Five Dollar Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIME JUMP TIMMMMMEEEE.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later! 
> 
> Enjoy :D

* * *

 

 

 

_**EIGHT YEARS LATER…** _

 

 

“You’re the bravest soul I know.”

“Mom, it’s fostering. Please don’t make it sound like it is something more than it is.”

His mother sighed dramatically. Spending more time with her husband did her no good, she was becoming just as dramatic, if not more, with the influence of Han Solo.

“I’m just saying you stepped away from the caseworker life—”

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not going to be a caseworker again.”

“—and then with Rey—”

“Can we _please_ not bring her up?” Ben mumbled, thumping his forehead against the doorframe.

“I just never thought you’d get back into it.”

“I am fostering a couple of kids, probably one kid, and it is because Luke and Poe have been complaining to me nonstop how they don’t have enough homes,” Ben clarified, still not entirely happy how he found himself in the situation. Poe cornered him with beer and a nearly decade old IOU, begging for Ben to be a foster parent. He had the room, the money, and the time. Just maybe not the right mindset or heart to do it. Of course, Poe contradicted this, claiming there wouldn’t be a better opportunity than now. “Let’s face it, I’m not getting married any time soon—”

“I told you that woman was no good,” Leia tsked. Unbelievably vocal about her dislike for Jules, Leia almost flew out to celebrate the news of their break-up. “She didn’t understand your humor or sensibilities—”

“No one does.”

“—except Rey. She understood you better than no one else. I swear if that girl were older—”

“Can we please stop talking about her?” Ben droned, this not the first time nor would be the last time his mother blatantly brought up Rey in their conversations.

He didn’t know if his mother was drowning in guilt over what happened to her, or if she genuinely missed her, but Ben heard the name pop up at least once a week.

Which made moving on and letting more difficult than he anticipated.

And he was already nearing on the ninth year anniversary since he lied his ass off and let Rey go.

He didn’t regret it.

Ben just missed her.

But he knew he missed the memory of her, knowing she was….what? Twenty-six now? Maybe twenty-five—he always did the math wrong when it came to birthdays. There was no way she was the same as she’d been at seventeen. People changed, grew up; personalities shifted, experience shaping them.

Ben knew that better than anyone else.

“As I was saying,” Ben said, checking his fridge for any milk. Nope—he’d need to go to the convinence store on the corner if he wanted to milk for some mac and cheese or alfredo. “I am not getting married any time soon and kids are looking less and less out of the picture—”

“I still have hope.”

“I know, Mother.” He went about finding his boots and coat. The December air was crisp with cool air and fresh, thin layer of snow. Ben just hoped he didn’t slip on his walk, knowing the sidewalks to be slick this time of year. “But I’m being realistic.”

“I know, Son,” she said with a tired sigh. “Have you gotten a call yet? Any kiddos coming your way?”

He rolled his eyes at her urgency, pocketing his keys and wallet as he walked out the door.

“First of all, my age bracket is middle school and teens, they are the ones who need the most placements,” Ben answered, pressing the elevator door. “Not really kiddos or tikes, Mom.”

“Still,” she mumbled. “It’s a thought.”

Ben grunted; he wasn’t a baby person. Probably would never be at this point. “I’ve gotten a couple of calls, though no kids have materialized so…yeah. Just two bedrooms ready for whenever it happens,” Ben mumbled, hoping he didn’t sound too petulant.

“Well if you need someone to talk to, I’m here,” Leia offered.

Stepping into the elevator, Ben pressed for the ground floor. “Thanks, but I think I’ll be okay,” he answered truthfully. He dealt with his fair share of children on the daily and when he was a caseworker. He wasn’t too worried.

Saying quick goodbyes, Ben hung up and pocketed his phone. The elevator came to the ground floor soon after, he waving politely at the frantic yet courteous Mr. Threepio as he made his way out the building.

The walk to the convenience store was calming, Ben able to stop thinking for a moment and focus on getting to his destination.

Not think about how he had a failed relationship. Or how he was still paying off a wedding that _never_ happened, or how Jules was now on the honeymoon he paid for with his _other_ ex-girlfriend, Leslie. Strange turn of events right there.

Or how Jules prolonged the idea of kids and fostering the entire two years they were together, even though Ben made it clear children were only on the table if they were going to adopt.

He supposed that was the only plus—he was finally doing what he wanted after almost two years of hell.

Yeah, 2018 was a pretty shitty year if Ben was being completely honest.

But tomorrow was the New Year and the New Year meant changes and a fresh start…if he tried hard enough.

Maybe romantic relationships just weren’t for him. All of them ended in train wrecks—women cheating on him, leaving him, claiming he was a emotionally unavailable ass.

And maybe he was—an emotionally unavailable ass that is—but there was nothing he could do about it at this point. At thirty-seven he felt pretty secure in some of his less than stellar attributes. Sure, he’d try to change, but nothing gave him the right push.

Nothing gave him the right push to be better since…

Ben huffed, wrapping his coat around him tighter. Best not to think of her when he just stopped thinking about her moments earlier.

But when was she not resting in the back of his mind, haunting him until his ending days.

Stepping up the store, Ben stomped his feet, getting off the excess slush. Shoving open the door, warm, stale air greeted him. Fluorescent lights made the convenience store washed out, the colors of the snack packaging’s muted and dull.

Entering further, Ben nodded to Mos Eisley behind the counter.

“No big plans with the ladies?” the man asked with a small chuckle.

“Eh, you know how it is. New Years Eve is meant for those who want to get drunk and party, or want to get drunk and forget,” Ben shouted back as he made his was over to the back refrigerated wall.

“And let me guess you want to forget?” the owner called back.

“Yup,” Ben declared, grabbing a small milk—he’d go grocery shopping later in the week, a small would do just fine for the next few days. Walking further down the aisle, he stopped in front of the liquor section.

He could be like his dad, be sad and bold, and buy some whiskey.

Then again he could be like his mother and buy a tequila—he’d surely do something stupid and wild if he drank an entire bottle.

Or he could just be simple and classy, because hell it was _New Year’s Eve_ , and buy a bottle of wine or two. Drink a bottle of wine by himself in the dark after making a rather subpar dish of mac and cheese. A wonderful way to ring in the new year.

Reaching for the first bottle of red wine he saw, he heard an sharp intake of breath.

“I wouldn’t get that one if I were you—drank a shit ton of it when I was in college and let me tell you, it is _not_ good at all. Don’t trust the price.”

Ben froze, not glancing towards the chatty woman.

Because he swore— _he swore upon his life_ —he knew that voice. An odd mesh of West coast American and a British lit she must have kept from her parents, because she was just that stubborn of a girl. Never letting go and being her own form of person.

“I mean, if you are into to cheap wines and are on a budget, go for it. But don’t be that person who buys five dollar Cabernet because they are sad and lonely on New Year’s—”

“Do you always insult strangers?” Ben snapped, still refraining from looking at her, because maybe he was just hearing what he wanted to hear because like she said, he was perpetually _lonely_ and rather _sad_.

“Only the one’s making poor life decisions,” she shot back without missing a beat.

She reached over and grabbed the bottle of wine in front of him. The five dollar one she was just criticizing. A plain left hand with an illegible tattoo on the inside of her wrist. But a hand he recognized from the faint scar riding up into her sleeve—

_Where she broke her arm when she was twelve._

“I can feel your stare—I happen to be the poor soul on budget so I have an excuse,” she answered primly.  “New job, no paycheck yet, back in my hometown—”

“ _Rey_?” Ben said, unable to help himself.

Glancing over at her, he found her staring up at him. Stunned by the name and his face.

Her bright hazel eyes widened behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses, she at a loss at the sight of him.

“Um, _hi_ ,” she uttered, blinking back at him owlishly. “Hi, hi, hello.”

She pursed her lips, her glasses slipping down her nose—she wore glasses now?

Well of fucking course she wore glasses now—it’d been eight fucking years. And her _hair_ —short and cropped in a wavy bob, no longer her funky little buns. Her face matured, any lingering baby fat of her teens gone; her cheekbones and jaw were prominent in delicate womanhood.

It was odd to see her be…an adult. His brain still wanted to supply an image of crying seventeen year old on his doorstep, growling and yelling at him.

But it contradicted the sight of the seemingly confident, though stunned woman before him.

“You have facial hair now,” she said breaking the silence they had unintentionally set between them. “Good—”

“ _Good_?”

“Yeah, you look your age now,” she replied plainly.

Ben’s brows furrowed. “I didn’t look my age before?”

“No,” she snorted, ducking her head down to look down at the bottle of wine in her hands. “No you had—well, _have_ —a baby face.”

“Huh,” Ben muttered.

Needing to do something, anything besides falling to more awkward conversation—because what did you say to the person who crushed your heart and you crushed theirs?—Ben turned back to the wines and grabbed a different red wine. A ten dollar one, one he had before and knew was not the best but would still drink despite the taste.

“You still live here?” Rey asked, rocking on the balls of her feet. Her arms were laden with snacks, clearly ready to pay for her items but still remaining beside him. “I thought you would have moved…” she shook her head. “I mean Han and Leia don’t live here anymore.”

He recoiled at the casual mention of his parents. “And you talk to Han and Leia?”

“They send postcards of their RV adventures,” she answered, giving a half-shrug. “She and I are Facebook friends.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, glancing back at her then at the bottle in his hand. “I’m not on social media.”

“I know.”

Neither commented on her quick, if not bitter, reply.

“I like it here. My life and work are here,” Ben said, peeling at the wine bottle’s paper label. “It’d be weird to be anywhere else.”

Her feet shuffled, Rey rocking side to side as she stared up at him. “I heard you were engaged.”

Ben winced. “Yeah.”

“And she left you for your ex-girlfriend.”

Why did it hurt more when she said it? “Apparently I am an emotionless, heartless asshole who does not know how communicate or spend quality time with her,” he deadpanned, wearing the insults proudly.

Rey scoffed, an incredulous laugh bursting from her. “Then she clearly _does not_ know you and it’s good you two aren’t getting married.”

His lips twitched at the subtle compliment. She hadn’t seen him nor spoken to him in eight, almost nine years, yet she still believed he had some semblance of a heart. Was life being cruel, or did she have such unwavering faith in him, to the point it was unconditional?

“How about you? Wooed any men,” he then added, a bit frantic, “or women—I shouldn’t have just said men, I mean I don’t know—”

Her face crumbled as flourish of snickers came from her in abundance. “I’m straight, Ben. Don’t worry.”

“I was just covering my bases, I mean it’s been eight years—people change.”

“And some don’t,” she countered lightly, though a bit ominous. “But no. Turns out I am more than a _little_ emotionally unavailable.”

“Look at us, two-peas in a pod.”

“And lack basic people skills when it comes to my peers.”

“Oh, I could have told you that years ago,” he commented through a budging grin. “You had…the _worst_ people skills I have ever seen from anyone ever. And being around me obviously didn’t make it any better.”

Her jaw dropped, offended. Yet the corner of her mouth begged for a smile—a large, bright, _Rey_ smile. “I can see where your ex’s get the heartless-asshole thing from, it really is one of your most _shining_ qualities.”

He could not help but laugh with her at the assessment.

She glanced at him, then to the store entrance, biting her lips together. “Do you want to go for a walk?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“See, you’ve been eating gummi bears all wrong,” Rey grabbed a red one from her pack, “you can’t just eat them—you need to make them suffer a little. Bite off a leg or two,” she demonstrated, biting off the itity-bity right leg, “before eating the whole thing.” She tossed the rest of the gummi bear into her mouth. “There!”

“That is cruel and unusual,” Ben balked at her, stealing a couple of gummi bears for himself. “Don’t you want to just put them out of their misery with all their brothers and sisters and eat them in one go?”

“No! Of course not!” Her nose wrinkled. “You seriously just throw them all in your mouth, no matter the flavor?”

“They’re gummi bears!”

“You can’t mix pineapple with—I don’t know—banana!”

“There isn’t a banana flavored gummi bear,” Ben insisted, popping another bear into his mouth. He grabbed the back, looking at the flavor list on the back. “They are all just flavored filled wax anyways.”

Rey rolled her eyes, taking back the bag. “No more gummi bears for you—you don’t know how to eat them properly.”

A huffed laugh came through Ben’s nose, he leaning further back on the bench. The two walked further downtown up until they reached the park in the middle of the square. A few food and drink stands,  and shops were open at the late hour, as well as a few restaurants. People passed by happily with their families, or rushed by in effort to make it to a party, not sparing a glance at the two adult giggling as they ate candy and junk food.

The Christmas lights glistened upon the wet ground, reflecting back in a faint glow. Rey seemed delighted at the sight, Ben recalling how she liked to go see the Christmas lights downtown when she was younger.

“You wear glasses now,” Ben muttered, observing her changes once more.

Rey pushed them up the bridge of her nose. “Just for reading. I was going over files and forgot to take them off when I left my flat.”

“Ah,” Ben murmured in understanding. “Files? What did you end up getting your degree in?”

“Uh, psychology,” she answered, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Ben gaped at her, surprised by the news. “You _hated_ psychology—you hated when I had to go all therapist on you—”

“Because you were _psychoanalyzing_ me without my permission,” she counter back defensively, “not to mention you have an awful tendency for projecting.”

There was no point in arguing that observation. “But wow—some of things I said must have stuck then.”

“Something like that,” she muttered, digging through her back of snacks. She pulled out a Twix, handing Ben the left cookie once she got the package open. “But I’m good at it.”

“Did you get your Masters?”

She nodded chewing her chocolate treat thoughtfully.

“How about a Ph.D? Working towards that?”

“No,” she confessed. “Thought about it, but decided not to. I didn’t want to do any more school. I just wanted to work and enjoy my work.”

“Good, good,” Ben muttered, doing the math in his head. “Did you take a gap year?”

“Yes, did some travelling,” she grinned at the memory, “went backpacking in Europe. Visited London—”

“Saw where your people came from?” he teased.

“Sure, if you can say that,” she shook her head, crumpling the wrapper in her hand. “Went to Spain for a bit, was very nice there. And even stopped by Austria, stood where Julie Andrews sang in _The Sound of Music_.”

“Dare I say, I’m jealous.” Ben felt lighter at the sound of her reminiscence.

She did was she always wanted to do—she went off to college, got her degree, went to new places. Left everything she knew behind and became a different version of herself, a _freer_ version of herself.

Rey lived life…

…Yet she came back.

Something about all of this—her presence, the casual conversation, a walk down memory lane—did not click.

But Ben wasn’t going to ruin a good thing when it miraculously dropped on his lap.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Did you ever go back and get your Masters?” Rey asked as they walked through downtown. Most of their snacks had been eaten while at the bench, their paper bags just holding their wine they had not yet touched. Neither we keen on the idea of getting publicly intoxicated. “I remember you wanted to do that once you had more time.”

“No,” Ben answered bluntly. “Probably never will at this rate.”

“You _should_ ,” she insisted, bumping her shoulder against his arm. “You always wanted to and you’d love it, you big nerd.”

“Maybe,” he said just to please her. “Maybe once life has settled down a bit.”

“Life never settles down, you just to learn how to ride it,” Rey said, her grin fading. Looking up at him then back down on to the pavement, Rey held herself taller, as though compensating for the drop in mood. The drop in mood _he_ caused. “I’m really glad we stumbled upon each other—I’d be too afraid to reach out if I were perfectly honest.”

“You would’ve,” Ben argued, pressing the button for the crosswalk. The very same crosswalk she dashed down when she ran away from him all those years ago. “You don’t like leaving things unfinished.”

“That I don’t,” her voice quivered, she shrugging her shoulders up and down for warmth. Ben shared the sentiment, his fingers and nose numbing from the ill wind. They’d been walking what felt like ages.

A quick intake of breath told him she recognized the street.

Without a word, Rey dashed ahead. “Oh my god, is it still here—”

She skidded to a stop at the shop, her excitement deflating.

“It’s…gone.”

The ice cream shop—their ice cream shop—was no longer. Instead of the usual bright red and white awning and classic fifties style chairs and bar, the colors were muted earthy tones. At the hour inside was dark and blinds drawn, Rey unable to peek inside to see the changes.

“What happened?”

“The shop closed down about…” Ben’s eyes squeezed shut in thought, “About five years ago?”

If it were possible her face fell further at the news. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Ben muttered, peering up at the sign on the building. “It’s a coffee shop now—I think. I’ve never been in,” he confessed a bit shyly. “I haven’t been in there since… _yeah_.”

“I see,” she spun back around to him, putting a pep in her step in alleviate…whatever tension settled over them once more. The one that had a way to sneak up out of nowhere in the quiet moments. “Us not coming over for our weekly ice cream probably put them under.”

Ben snorted, shaking his head at her ridiculousness. Because yes, a ice cream shop could go under when it loses it’s two regulars. He did not have a business degree, nor did he ever take a class, but Ben was pretty sure that was _not_ how business and economics worked.

“I mean…we had to give at least over a thousand dollars to this place.”

“Where does this ‘we’ come from?” Ben asked, peering down at her incredulously. “If I recall correctly, I  was the one who always bought the ice cream.”

“I was moral support and saved you that first day from getting a maple nut flavor when I saw you eying that cookies and cream with REAL _Oreo_.”

Ben’s step faltered. “You remember that?”

Her lips pressed together into a bite then purse. A slow nod and hugging her wine close to her chest, Rey bumped her shoulder with his arm. “Yeah, Ben. Believe it or not, I remember a lot of things. Some _you_ probably don’t ever remember.”

“Oh, I contest against _that_ statement.”

She giggled, falling in step beside him as they continued their stroll. “Maybe we should stop by there one day—see what’s different.”

“It’s a completely different business Rey—it’s going to look different.”

“Maybe the owner had a change of heart and decided ice cream wasn’t their calling, but coffee—and it is just the same place but with a coffee shop skin.”

“That’s a…thought,” Ben said hoping to not crush her optimism and imagination. “But why change from ice cream to coffee? One’s hot, the other is cold. One is sweet, the other is bitter.”

“Because how do you know you were supposed to be coffee shop owner if you were told your whole life you were supposed to be an ice cream shop owner because of a dumb reason like…coffee is bitter and ice cream is sweet.”

Ben paused, frowning down at her. “I feel like this conversation is not about ice cream or coffee.”

Rey didn’t say anything for a moment, the two walking side by side. “It’s not,” she said, eyes focused on the ground. “But it was fun to pretend it had been.” And she left the matter alone, humming an unrecognizable tune under her breath as she marched ahead to press for the next crosswalk.

Who knew a metaphor about coffee and ice cream could bring a person down? He surely didn’t.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You’d think they’d get around fixing the light.”

Rey stood before the two column styles lampposts before Ben’s apartment building. Craning her neck back, she look up at the right lamppost, the light giving in and out and buzzing. Warm light danced in shadows across her face, she both fascinated and annoyed.

“You’d think,” Ben muttered, “but that lamppost has been flickering like that for years. Threepio never gets around to calling maintenance to replace it.”

“Makes it a bit creepy.”

“Makes it a bit homey.”

After their strange ice cream/coffee conversation, Rey returned back to joking and probing, attempting to discover all the changes in town before she completely settled into a routine in the following weeks. Soon enough they looped back to the street they started on, the convinced store down the lane.

“I guess this where we part ways,” she announced, leaning back against the lamppost. Peering up at him from the rim of her glasses, she smiled— _genuinely smiled_. “We should do this again some time.”

“Roam downtown in the cold? Absolutely. Once I get feeling back in my lungs and feet.”

Her chuckle filled the air, she stubbornly hugging her paper bag closer to her chest. “I meant talking—hanging out,” she added with an eyeroll. “It’s weird to think we spent time apart.”

Ben nodded, licking his lips as he burrowed one hand deeper into his pocket. “It feels like no time has passed.”

“Now that is a lie,” she declared, standing up straight. “I felt the time pass…I just think time stops for bit when were together.”

An air of warmth bloomed in his chest at her words, his thoughts akin to hers.

A soft breeze came through, brushing her short chestnut hair in disarray. Yet she did not dare fix it, matching his gaze with a mischievous glint. Part him urged to tuck each strand back into it’s place, however he refrained with all his control.

Realizing he was staring, Ben coughed into his shoulder, clearing his throat. “Shouldn’t I be walking you home—”

She waved him off. “No, I’ll be fine. Plus, maybe I _don’t_ want you to know where I live,” she teased.

“I’ve always known where you lived.”

“Maybe all the more reason why you shouldn’t,” she argued lightly, stepping away from the lamppost. Her grin did not falter as she began to walk backwards, taking steps further and further away from him.

An insistent thought—one of old panic—told him to follow her.

But one with an mature, wiser voice told him to remain still. To not beg for more answers and pry.

To let her go.

Because she came back.

And if she came back…well it meant _something_. Right?

A sharp chime came from the historic Methodist church a few streets down, the bells ringing in the new year.

“ _Arrivederci_ , Ben!” Rey called out, already a good few feet away from him, a skip to her step. “OH! And Happy New Year!”

“Happy New Year, Rey!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, weren't they chummy chummy. It won't last for long.
> 
> Bravo to anyone who guessed about 8 years :D 
> 
> And yeah, Rey is OBVIOUSLY hiding something with her crypticness. But what? I'll take guesses. 
> 
> How do you like this older Rey? :D And Ben--what is up with him? He was engaged and now he's not and not everything seems perfectly great in his world right now.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers!


	12. Playing Pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST TIME. 
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

 

 

“I don’t want to—I’m not coming down from this tree!” Margo Robinson yelled down to her. Huffing, the twelve year old girl climbed to the next branch on the old crabapple tree with skilled hands and feet.

From below Rey and Ahsoka shared a glance.

“This one is giving you a run for your money,” Ahsoka joked, her throat rasping. Coughing into her handkerchief, she winced. “You know if I could, I would keep her here forever—but this old woman knows when to take a rest.”

“I know.” Shaking off her green peacoat, Rey handed it off to Ahsoka. She rolled up her sleeves and stepped up to the tree. “But little does she know I invented the running up the tree trick.”

With a loafer clad foot at the base, Rey hoisted herself up to the first hefty branch. She felt her beige blouse get caught on little twig, knowing the piece of clothing would be rendered useless after her little expedition up the tree. Once she made it up the first branch, old muscle memory went to work, Rey climbing up another branch and then another with ease.

Feeling the tree shake ever so slightly, Margo peeked down from her perch.

Her brown eyes widen owlishly.

Clearly she didn’t expect her new caseworker to come climbing after her.

If Ben taught her anything, Rey knew sometimes you had to keep the runners on their toes. Remind them they couldn’t outsmart their caseworker who knew the song and dance too well.

“Why are you coming up here?”

“I can ask you the same thing,” Rey called back, stopping a couple of branches away from Margo. Shifting on feet to lean more against the trunk of the tree, she looked back up at the girl. “You know eventually the tree stops having branches and there are only two ways down.”

“Two ways?”

“You either climb down,” Rey motioned to herself and the branch she stood on. “Or you fall.”

“I’d rather fall than go with you!” Margo cried out.

“Are you sure about that?” Rey pushed her left sleeve higher. “Because speaking as someone who has taken the falling option,” she winced, lifting her arm with the scar up to see, “it’s truthfully the worst option.”

“You broke your arm!” she cried out.

“Yup—had to get it popped back in and everything. My caseworker at the time hated me for it,” she rolled her eyes at the thought of Luke. Part of her was relieved he retired, Poe her supervisor, yet she still reserved a soft spot for him. After all, he did personally look out for her, and it was his decision to assign her to Ben.

“He sounds awful,” Margo mumbled. “Maybe the place was bad?”

“Eh, it wasn’t. The couple just argued a lot,” Rey confessed with a bit of shame. Looking back, she was a tad bit melodramatic with the Kirks. But at least she got out and met—“But after him, I got a new caseworker.”

The girl frowned down at Rey. The term ‘new caseworker’ was touchy for her—with Poe’s promotion, it meant his caseload needed to be passed down as well. Which meant Margo was assigned to a new caseworker, that caseworker being Rey. Leaving Ahsoka’s group home, due to the woman’s illness, just happened to be the cherry on top.

“Were they mean too, like your other one?”

“No,” Rey shook her head, solemn. “He…he was the _best_.”

Despite well… _everything_ …Ben was not bad at his job. He tried, and tried a lot more than some other caseworkers. He checked in with her, always tried to make her comfortable. Sure there a few fuck-ups here and there, but most of the time it wasn’t his fault. It was the system’s fault.

Getting older, it was easier to separate the ‘Caseworker Ben’ from ‘ _Her_ Ben’, even though she knew it was wrong to compartmentalize him in such a way. It just made it easier to cope.

Because she learned early on it would always hurt to _think_ about him, but she soon realized it hurt like a wall of bricks to _see_ him. On a lonely New Years of all days. Acting like he was just ‘Caseworker Ben’—acting like he was _an old friend_ — helped a little for part of the night. But her romantic heart had a way to wedge itself back in, and bleed pain and hope recklessly.

So maybe she flirted a bit too much, acted a little too coy, let her eyes wander for the sake of wandering. Because why not? She was not going to see him again—all talk of seeing each other...it simply seemed like the right thing to say at the time, to continue pretending there was a chance for Ben Solo to love her to way she loved him.

Then there was his appearance that egged her on to just…be silly and flirty and casual. Not tear him to shred about how he fucking broke her heart.

He’d been a lanky, perpetual baby face, caring man with the warmest eyes when she left and somehow— _some fucking how_ —he aged like a fine wine and was undeniably handsome to the general population and not just her.

Really, it wasn’t fair.

“If I come down, will you hate me?” Margo asked, bringing Rey back from her daydreaming thoughts. “Or punish me?”

“Of course not,” Rey said honestly. “I just need you to come down so you don’t get hurt. I’d like to _not_ take you to the hospital today.”

From her vantage point, Rey watched as Margo’s lips twisted, disgruntled. But the tension eased off of her by the second.

“Okay,” she mumbled, starting to carefully climb down.

Exhaling a breath she didn’t know she was holding, Rey made her trek down. Once making it back to solid ground, she spotted Margo, at the ready to aid the girl if any issues came up.

But luckily nothing happened. Margo simply frowned at Rey as she slumped over to her backpack and small suitcase, all packed away for her departure.

“She’s one of the luckier ones,” Ahsoka muttered watching her, “she’s been with me since she was a toddler.”

“Why wasn’t she ever adopted? Babies and toddlers usually are.” Rey hoped her bitterness wasn’t too noticeable. She only gleaned so much for the girl’s file, she received it less than a couple of hours ago.

“Parents were in legal limbo for years—mom was an addict, dad was MIA.” Sighing, Ahsoka leaned on her cane. “She was only supposed to be with me for a couple of weeks, but weeks turned to months and here we are,” she said sadly motioning to herself and the nearly empty house. “Some of the older kids are staying as we transition it to new holders and operators, but the younger ones…it’s best they go to families while they still can.”

“It must be hard…to see her go.”

“It’s always hard to see any of them go,” Ahsoka held her gaze knowingly. “Even when you left.”

Rey chewed on the inside of her cheek, not ready to apologize for running. She might not ever be ready to apologize; she didn’t regret running. She did what she needed to do to start her life, and that meant leaving.

Margo came up to Ahsoka, giving the older woman a gentle hug.

Did it always look this sad—feel this painful to remove a child from a home?

Briefly she wondered if Ben, Luke, or Poe felt the way she felt, wishing they could do more, but incapable.

Looking away from the private moment, Rey went to unlock her car. With some force, she shoved her key into the slot, unlocking the driver’s side.

“It looks like a piece of shit,” Margo declared as she came to the passenger side.

“Oi! It’s my piece of shit and her name is The Falcon so please don’t be rude,” Rey scolded.

“You named your car?” the girl asked, throwing her few things in the back before hoping into the front seat.

“She was already named when I got her.”

Margo’s eyebrows furrowed. “I thought caseworkers weren’t supposed to curse.”

“That’s bullshit,” Rey answered, putting her key in the ignition. “You’re twelve, I know you say worse things at school. I know I did. So I’m not going to pretend you don’t.”

For the first time since meeting each other as caseworker and child, Margo allowed herself to smile.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Rey should have realized it sooner.

But of course she glanced at the address, not looking at the resident’s name. But when she finally rolled up to the building, she felt her heart stop.

She _knew_ this apartment building.

She stood outside this apartment less than three days prior. And she knew exactly who lived in there.

Biting her lips together, she doubled checked the address and—

Yup. There was his name.

But she had to put on a brave face and do her job.

Leading Margo out of the car and into the building, Rey attempted to be calm and collected. She needed to be for Margo—who honestly wasn’t paying attention to her at the moment, more enamored by the building she just entered.

Rey’s lips twitched. There was an old opulence to the Canthem Plaza, one that never seemed to fade with time. She recalled her own stunned moment upon entering the building, following Ben with half a mind.

Stepping into the mirrored and wood paneled elevator, Rey pressed the button for the ninth floor. Beside her Margo fidgeted, fiddling with a loose piece of hair by her face. Braiding and unbraiding the strands with ill practice.

“I’ve never been anywhere besides Ahsoka’s,” Margo confessed quietly.

“Trust me, you’ll be fine here and I’ll do whatever I can to keep you here.” With a firm hand, she squeezed the younger girl’s shoulder comfortingly. “You shouldn’t worry; he’s a very kind man.” _When he wants to be_ , her mind supplied readily.

Margo seemed warry and unbelieving, her lips down turning at the seemingly assuring comment. So much for getting on the girl’s good side.

Soon they arrived at the ninth floor, Rey leading the way through the once familiar corridor. Stopping at the correct door, she knocked and waited.

And waited.

“Maybe he’s not home?”

“He is.”

She knocked again.

And waited, until—

“ _Coming! Give me a sec!”_

The door swung open, Rey face to face with Ben Solo.

He faltered, confused. “Rey—”

“Hello, I’m Rey Johnson, I was told Poe Dameron contacted you about a placement,” she announced, forcing pleasantries.

Ben blinked, shaking his head—his perfectly dark and wavy hair making her gut do a lam flip-flop. “Uh, yes. Yes, he did. I thought he’d be the one to bring—”

“This is Margo Robinson,” Rey continued to barrel through, “she will be staying with you.”

Eyeing her carefully, Ben opened the door wider for the two. He flashed a quick, genuine smile to the girl, eyes darting back to Rey before looking back at Margo.

He was puzzled by her presence and Rey made no attempt to rectify the situation, or clear the air.

“I’m Ben,” he said to Margo, leading her further into the apartment.

An apartment Rey once called home in the depths of her mind. An apartment where Leia taught her how to braid, and she taught the woman to cook. Where she had dinner every night—her, Leia, and Ben together eating and laughing, talking and listening.

A place were she felt comfortable and let her guard down.

“This is the kitchen, I suck at cooking,” Ben said with a chuckle as he quickly gave a tour. “But I’ll let you pick take out and I promise my mac and cheese isn’t too terrible.”

Margo’s lips quirked—she  caught Rey watching and forced a frown.

So much for progress.

The kitchen looked relatively the same except  for a few new pots and pans and new refrigerator—or well, different refrigerator. The appliance already looked well used, probably replaced over the last eight years. And the coffee pot was different—still a coffee pot and thankfully not a Keurig—but nicer, sleeker. Not the slipping and sputtering mess Leia would keep for the sake of the fact she had the pot for years.

Rey and Ben hated that coffee machine, it made brewing coffee an unnecessary two person job. But some how seeing it gone…Rey’s heart felt heavy.

“…extra sheets and towels in the cabinet…” Ben continued to drone as Margo followed him down the hall. He opened the first door—her old room, his old room before hers—and nodded for Margo to go in. “And this is your room—”

“Only my room?” she asked, whirling back to him. Her brown eyes wide with wonder. “No one else? Just mine?”

“Yeah, only yours,” Ben answered gently and surely.

“ _Wow_ ,” Margo gasped, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

Light blue sheets and comforter covered the lower bunk bed, while the top remained stripped, awaiting another arrival if there were any to come. A dresser was pushed against the opposite wall of the bunk bed. The room wasn’t necessarily decorated per say, but filled and waiting to be put to use, decoration no doubt coming along later.

But seeing the look on Margo’s face and the understanding form on Ben’s, Rey wouldn’t be surprised if he’d figure out a way to just let her have her own room forever.

“You can get settled,” Rey said, finally finding her voice, “I need Ben to sign some things, and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Okay,” Margo muttered distractedly, looking out the window to the downtown life below. “Bye.”

Pursing her lips, Rey turned around and left the room. Behind her, Ben shut the door and followed her out of the hall. Silence weighed between the two as they came to the kitchen area, the only open space with some privacy in the apartment.

Opening her portfolio, Rey began to speak hurriedly. “I just need you to sign—”

“You’re a caseworker,” Ben interjected before any other words could be spoken. The terseness of his words struck her deep, a strange mix of shame and defiance pulsing under her skin.

Licking her lips, Rey avoid his piercing gaze. She shut her portfolio, and clicked her pen closed. Hugging herself, she leaned against the counter. His eyes watched her every move carefully, calculating, always analyzing her. He always did and never stopped.

She nodded once, focusing on the new coffee machine across from her. “Yes, I am.”

“My kid’s caseworker.”

“She’s already you’re kid?” she shot back, looking up at him. She tried not to flinch at the openness and hurt behind his all too expressive brown eyes. “You just love to mentally adopt everyone don’t you.”

He bristled at her words, sucking in one side of his cheek. Clearly refraining from spatting a few choice words at her. His hand clamped on to the counter, clutching for an anchor—or maybe just holding back from tossing something in the room.

“Why the hell are you a caseworker?” he gritted out, eyes narrowed on her.

“Because I want to be.”

“You have a fucking Master’s in Psychology—you can do many different things with that type of degree and you decide to be a _caseworker_?”

“Because I want to be a caseworker—there is nothing wrong with being a caseworker, Ben!”

“I know there’s nothing wrong with being a caseworker,” he spat, “but it’s not for you!”

“And you know what _is_ for me?” she asked, dropping her portfolio on the counter with a thud. “Because you talked to me _so much_ these last eight years?”

He inhaled deeply, his other hand clenching at his side. “Like you gave me the option! You were the one who ran away!”

“Okay, we’re just going to dive _right_ into that!” She shook her head with false grin, a glower overcoming her seconds later. “You can blame yourself for not speaking to me and for ‘running away’.”

“My fault?” Ben recoiled as though he’d been slapped. “I wasn’t the one who packed up my things, hopped into a car, and drove away! That was _all_ _you_!” he hissed. “And all that bullshit of not communicating? You were speaking to my mother—”

“ _Oh my god, seriously_?”

“You were speaking to my _mother_ and you never thought to, maybe, I don’t know? Get my number, my address, call me, text me, email me?”

“ _Yes_!” Rey shouted. “I did not want to talk to the fucking bastard who broke my heart, sorry I was exhibiting self-preservation arsehole!”

“I was worried! You left and nobody could find you! No one! Not even your _friends_ —do you know how _fucking_ terrifying that is to a teenager? Hmm?”

“I called!” she argued, her voice rising to overpower his natural bellow. “I called them and _begged_ them not to tell you because I can barely stand the thought of you let alone see you!”

“Then what the hell was the other night?” he asked, a crack in his words despite the heat and anger shining braving though. “All the talking, the catching up—”

“Pretend!” she said, regretting the words the moment they flew from her mouth. But she said them and need to follow through. “Pre- _tend_ ,” she broke the word, as if speaking to a child. “Because what the hell else was I supposed to do?”

A paused tottered between them. However, a flicker of aghast disbelief in Ben’s eyes filled the room, suffocating her.

“You’re such a fucking liar.”

“ _Excuse me_?” she uttered, stunned by the confident declaration.

Ben nodded once, throwing hands up in defeat. “You are—you are such a fucking liar because if I meant nothing, whatever the hell this mess is meant nothing—our friendship meant nothing, then you would have walked away for good and ignored me.”

“It’s called being polite,” she replied stiltedly.

“It’s called being delusional,” he took a step back, “and I am not going to believe any of this bullshit you are spewing because—because I know when to not lie to myself to feel better.”

“I’m _not_ lying—”

“Then why are you so adamant? Why are you still standing here arguing with me? Why the hell are you even back in town?”

His questions hit her in the gut, beat after beat.

And Rey knew when it was time to flee.

Reaching to her portfolio, she grabbed the papers and slapped them down on the counter. “Sign them and drop them off at the office—you know where it is,” she said pointedly. “I need to get going.”

Marching out of the kitchen, she paused when she saw Margo sitting in the living room pretending to read. By the stunned look on the girl’s face, one she tried to hide behind her book, she heard everything in the kitchen.

Rey hesitated—

_“Don’t get attached.”_

But…

_“I’ll never have you go through this alone as long as I am around.”_

Stepping up to the girl, Rey placed a hand on her shoulder.

Margo peeked up, a flash of shame. Rey ignored it, instead giving the girl a comforting smile. “He’s not upset with you—he’s upset with me. So take that—” she nodded to the kitchen, “—with a grain of salt. Because I’d still trust him with my life. Okay?”

The girl nodded.

“I left my phone number and email on your notebook, second to last page,” Rey said, squeezing the girl’s shoulder. “It’s for emergencies…but I don’t think you’ll need it.”

With those words said and Margo not making a peep, Rey decided it be best she leave. Excusing herself, Rey felt Ben’s eyes follow her—

Though she did not know if it was from relief or despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The line--“I’ll never have you go through this alone as long as I am around.”--was said in chapter 4 by Ben to Rey.
> 
> All the hurt came back, ugh. But things will get better!
> 
> BUT MARGO. SHE MADE A COME BACK. You guys will love her.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! Love discussing fic with readers :D


	13. Haircut Forms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

 

 

 

Ben and Margo fell into a pattern. A pattern to extremely similar individuals could fall into.

Mornings were busy, the two rushing around, both over sleeping. Luckily, they had the same destination—Ben working at the high school on the west side of campus, while Margo attended the middle school on the east side of campus— which made the morning commute easier.

Afternoons were simple, usually consisted of Margo working on homework at the library, waiting for Ben to get off at five o’clock. They’d pick up some take-out after he left the office, going to one of many establishments in their town, before going back to the apartment to eat. Dinner was a quiet affair, filled with the occasional polite questions—

_“Anything interesting happen at school today?”_

_“Saw a kid trip on the stairs.”_

_“Did you help them?”_

_“No. I’d be late to class.”_

_“Understandable.”_

—Or—

_“Did you make someone cry at work today?”_

_“I don’t make people cry.”_

_“That’s not what my classmates say…”_

_“Okay, sometimes I make people cry. But not today.”_

_“Good.”_

By evening, they were watching TV and arguing over who got to control the remote. Then by ten o’clock, they both went to their respective rooms and got ready for bed, to repeat the pattern all over again.

A simple, easy routine. One neither seemed to be too terribly bothered with. After all, it had only been the first few days. Things were bound to change once they became more comfortable with one another.

Soon enough, two weeks had passed by in a breeze and it was time for Rey to come in for an evaluation and check-up.

Only she rescheduled for the following week.

And then she rescheduled for two weeks later after that.

“She’s avoiding you,” Margo declared the following morning, sitting prim in the passenger seat.

“She’s _not_ avoiding me,” Ben argued, “Probably got a busy caseload.”

“She’s avoiding you,” the girl repeated with a sigh. “Because Rey seems good—”

“She is good.”

“And she seems like she follows through.”

“I suppose she does…”

“So it doesn’t make sense she fell behind on work. She’s avoiding you.”

“What makes you say that?” Ben countered, sparing Margo a glance while at a red light.

The deadpanned stare he received was answer enough. “Do you not remember calling her a ‘ _fucking liar’_?”

Ben flinched at the curse, it feeling wrong to hear a child say the phrase. “Don’t repeat that to anyone.”

She rolled her eyes, leaning against the door. “I’ve heard worse.”

“Well, she’ll have to stop by eventually,” Ben said, regripping the steering wheel. “It’s her job.”

“Or she can just keep rescheduling.” Margo fiddled with a piece of her hair, nose scrunched. Her long dark locks were getting longer, past her shoulders and nearing her waist. The poor girl _hated_ it.  He heard her curse enough in the mornings while she got ready. Ben knew he’d need to contact Rey for the forms soon if Margo was to ever get a haircut, rescheduled meeting or not.

“She won’t reschedule again, I’ll make sure of it,” Ben promised lightly.

Margo raised an eyebrow. “What can you do? You’re just my foster parent.

“What _can’t_ I do?” Ben was confident; he knew enough people in the local office, knew how to pulls strings to get things done. Eight years was nothing when you saw a retired supervisor during every holiday and the current supervisor liked to go out for drinks with him every Saturday night.

She frowned, not understanding. “I don’t know? A lot. Plus, Rey’s upset with you.”

Right there was _that_.

“Why is she upset with you?” Margo asked, finally addressing the elephant in the room. “I mean I get you use to be her caseworker—”

“How do you know that?”

“She told me,” she smirked up at him, dark eyes mischievous. “Said you were the best.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Ben faltered, feeling his heart rise at the comment. She really thought he was the best? He never thought he was, always feeling like a failure. But if Rey thought…well then maybe some of the hell the job brought was worth it.

Margo nodded. “Yup. Anyways, there is also the fact she was in love with you and you broke her heart.”

And any flutter he felt was immediately squashed.

“I—Um—How—”

“You two yell really loud and I have perfect hearing,” she answered. “I am also not an idiot.”

“Never said you were,” Ben assured her, pulling into the faculty parking lot. “But, you need to understand Margo,” he sighed, trying to find the right words, “Rey and I could not be a thing—I was her caseworker and she was seventeen,” Ben stressed, as he put the car in park.

Margo hummed, a sharp curiosity and understanding in her eyes. “You didn’t love her the way she loved you.”

Hands on the keys, Ben paused. He didn’t not expect the twelve year old to be so perceptive. “Um, yes. Exactly that—I wanted to adopt her. Make her part of my family.”

The girl’s face filled with wondered before shifting to a cringe. “That didn’t go well huh?”

“No.” Ben took the keys out of the ignition. “Come on, got to get in before were late.”

Without another word, Margo followed his lead.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Finding Rey was comically easy.

Or not, considering his old cubical was now _hers_.

Rounding around the corner, Ben saw her slumped against her desk.

 _Asleep_.

Her hand—the one with the wrist tattoo peeking from her sleeve— propped her head, a soft snore coming from her smooshed face. Locks of hair tumbled down, a short waterfall of chestnut locks getting caught in the blockade of her reading glasses. She the epitome of lack of slumber.

Part of him refrained from waking her. The beginning was rough. He recalled his early days of sleepless nights, arriving to court half awake, sometimes being a bit too moody to his co-workers, and having to make stops to pick up kids in the middle of the night. If anyone knew the struggle, it was Ben.

However, this was her _job_ and Ben Solo did not take being ignored lightly. She had not responded to any emails, text messages, or phone calls regarding their rescheduling. So he took matters into his own hands.

Loudly, Ben knocked on her desk, the hint of sound stirring Rey awake in a flurry.

Her eyes flew open, sucking in a sharp intake of breath. Eyes glazed over, she lifted her head to Ben and frowned, leering away. “What are you doing here?”

Not wanting to get into any other conversation he was not mentally nor emotionally prepared for, Ben went straight to the problem. “I need the forms I emailed you about—Margo needs a haircut and I can’t do anything until her legal parents sign off on it.”

“Her mother is in rehab—again,” she added with a bitter tone.

“I don’t care where her mother is,” Ben said, contrite and looming. “I have a kid who is cursing at her hair every morning because her curls get out of hand—she needs a haircut and I can’t do it unless I have the proper paperwork or I can get into legal trouble.”

“I— _Never mind.”_ Eyes scrunching up, she spun away from him and back to her computer. “I could have sworn I emailed it to you, but clearly that is not the case,” she muttered, typing away to find the right form. Clicking a few more keys, she spun back to the case on her desk—well the plethora of cases on her desk. “There sent it— _now leave_.”

Checking his phone, Ben frowned. “You sent me a consent to leave out of state form—”

“Shit, that’s not for you.” She scowled, turning back to her laptop. Several tabs were opened along with other documents and PDFs, she dancing between them all. With a few tapping and clicking, Ben’s phone buzzed again. “There—that should be the right one. _Leave_.”

He checked it and there it was the form, he just need to print it out, sign it. Then give it back to Rey, have her sign it, then she’d have to go to Margo’s mother, and after that have it authorized—

Fuck it was easier to take a kid to a hospital than give them a haircut. The ridiculousness of the system sometimes made Ben wonder.

“If I print this out, fill it out, and give it to you now, do you think you can have it signed in a week, or two?” he asked, a genuine question for the sake of Margo.

Rey tensed, hands ceasing their work. “A week,” she repeated slowly—her eyes then blew wide. “Fucking shit, I didn’t make to the meeting—our meeting this week,” she grumbled. “I didn’t even bother to reschedule this time— _shit_.” She bemoaned, shoving away her case files to check her desk calendar. And there written down in her sloppy handwriting was the meeting they were supposed to have the previous day—one Ben didn’t care to double check because he was sure he’d receive another call about rescheduling. “I think I am officially the worst.”

Unceremoniously, she dropped her head into her hands.

A soft groan turned sob came from her.

Ben winced.

Shuffling was heard from the other side of the cubical, no doubt one of her co-workers trying to sneak a peek at her emotional breakdown.

Because Ben was pretty sure this was what it was— _an emotional breakdown_. He’s seen enough from kids of all ages and a few adults here and there…but he’d never seen one as sad nor pitiful as the one before him.

Haggard and overworked, Rey seemed to slowly become a shell of what she had been when she first arrived. Her hair was limp around her face, missing a few washes and abused by dry shampoo. Her blouse was wrinkled and her shoes were kicked off. Makeup smeared and glasses slightly skewed. Not to mention her work space…her work space was a complete and utter chaos. Piles upon piles, as though everyone decided to load their overload on to her plate. Which wouldn’t be a surprise.

And now she was crying—in front him of all people—he who yelled at her weeks ago about being a ‘fucking liar’. Not that she wasn’t. But this…this required some emotions to be pushed away and locked in a box for a couple of hours because Rey shouldn’t be having a emotional breakdown two months into her job.

Stealthy, Ben grabbed her green pea coat and draped it on her shoulders. He then grabbed her purse, throwing her phone in and checking for her wallet. With some quiet coaxing, her got her to put back on her shoes and shut down her laptop, Rey listening without too mush fuss. Sill sniffling and crying throughout her efforts.

Covering her files and putting what he could away, Ben gently led her out of her cubical.

He passed by Jessika Pava’s desk, the woman a stronghold in the office. She was devoted to the work with the same gusto and harden exterior all these years and refused a promotion.

She raised an eyebrow at him, glancing at Rey who seemed to resort to attempting to swallow her cries.

“If anyone asks, she went for an early lunch.”

Jessika nodded once, turning back to her work.

Silently, they navigated the floor to the elevator. Rey’s gaze remained trained ahead as they dropped to the ground floor. Ben’s eyes darted between her and the floor numbers.

A quiet wave of relief came over them once the lift pinged, the two exiting the elevator.

Walking side by side, they walked out of the building and down the familiar route through downtown.

“It’s not there anymore…” Rey mumbled, scrubbing at her eyes. Her glasses hung on the collar of her blouse, carelessly dangling.

“I know,” Ben said as they came up to the former ice cream shop. “But it’s still the same place at heart.”

She didn’t argue, merely staring into the tinted windows of the coffeeshop.

“You also look like shit and I think a cup of coffee might help,” he added, opening the door for her.

Not a glare or sneer occurred, Rey simply walking through the offered door. Following after her, the two fell in line, coming up to order their drinks after a few minutes.

“I’ll take a latte and she’ll have—”

“Coffee. Plain. Black, whatever,” she muttered, with a quick glance at the menu. Her shuffle and disconnect spoke volumes, clearly overwhelmed by the choices and her work, all worries coming down at once.  Without another word, she walked off to find a seat.

Turning back the cashier, Ben forced a smile. “Just make it a dark chocolate mocha. She likes dark chocolate.” A fine small detail he learned eons ago, but one he still kept tucked away for safe keeping.

“Girlfriend having a rough day?” she asked, ringing up the order.

Ben didn’t bother to correct her, handing over his card. “Something like that.”

The cashier nodded sympathetically. “Happens to the best of us. I’ll throw in a free cookie. Sweets usually do the trick.”

Nodding in thanks, Ben took back his card and went off to find Rey as their drinks were prepared. Scanning the coffeeshop, he felt an sense of Déjà vu. Afternoons grabbing ice cream in the very same shop, Rey hurrying off to find a seat as he got their cold treats. His eyes then caught sight of her, sitting in their old spot—only it wasn’t their old spot. Their usual fifties style chairs and table were replaced with a long bar, spanning the entire length of the window. Brown and steel stools matched the counter, Rey swinging a dangling leg as she waited. Her hands fiddled, picking at the skin around her nails—a habit she never seemed to abolish.

Strange how everything changes, yet nothing does at all.

Their order was announced, Ben grabbing both the drinks and the cookie.

“Here,” he passed her the mocha and the chocolate chip cookie, “eat and drink this, maybe your mood might lighten up.”

He got a glare for that comment; a sign of progress from the crying and despondent mess he encountered moments earlier.

A ‘thank you’ was mumble somewhere between her sip of coffee and bite of cookie. Taking that as a decent sign, Ben sat down beside her.

Rey paused her eating, watching him guardedly. “ _I’m fmill uppet with mou,”_ she said, mouth full of cookie. She swallowed, taking a sip of her coffee. She didn’t even notice he changed her order, drinking the coffee greedily. “Just because you bought me coffee and cookie doesn’t mean we are okay.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Ben said, playing with the paper sleeve of his coffee cup. “But I am not here with you to be chummy-chummy.”

She raised an eyebrow at the phrase.

“I am here to make sure you get your shit together,” Ben told her bluntly.

“Excuse me?” she uttered, setting down her drink. “ _Get my shit together_?”

“Yes,” Ben said clearly, “Because you can’t be like this—crying in your cubical just because the work keeps piling. You’ll never get anything done,” he sipped his coffee thoughtfully, watching as people passed by on the street. “Didn’t you complete your hours? Shouldn’t you know this is how it is? It’s a lot of work with little gratitude or acknowledgement, because the system also screws us over despite us working for it.”

“Why the use of ‘we’ and ‘us’,” she question, tearing at the cookie wrapper, “you aren’t a caseworker anymore remember?”

“And _you_ won’t be one anymore either unless you suck it up and get your shit together.”

Her jaw tightened, a sharp stillness to her. Hazel eyes shifted from him to her coffee, then back to him, a debate dancing behind her gaze.

“Yes, I did my hours,” she said, answering his rhetorical question. “But it’s different when I’m the one calling the shots. These kids lives are in my hands and I can’t screw up, but it’s like working in an escape room, except I am the only one trying here while everyone else is caught up in their own agendas.”

“That’s life,” Ben scoffed, “everyone is _always_ caught up in their own agendas. It’s your job to make sure we all get on the same agenda—it’s not just you, it’s the kid and the foster parents and counsellors. We’re a team and you need to make sure of that.”

“I’m trying,” she groaned, dropping her head into her arms. “But no one gets back to me, and when I am waiting on other people to respond, I am getting another case, or one of them gets switched with another—”

“Stop, stop, stop,” Ben held his hand up, halting her. “Stop complaining—it’s the reality of the job.”

“But…” she shook her head, eyes welling, “I…I thought it would be different. I’ve seen it be different…and I’ve seen it be worse,” she confessed, fingers rubbing her eyes. “Everything just feels harder here, even when I know I have done work in worse conditions, in agencies with less.”

Seeing her defeated, at a loss, rubbed Ben the wrong way. He wanted to comfort her, offer her some sage words of advice, but all he had was reality and his experiences. Not much in his eyes.

“You made it seem so easy,” she mumbled, brushing and tucking her messy hair behind her ears. Moment by moment she was gradually piecing herself back together. For her sake or his, neither knew. Maybe it was both. “The caseworker thing…you made it seem effortless, like it was the most giving experience.”

He quietly winced, not believing her.

 _Effortless_? Ben struggled every step of the way, spent the better part of twenties in the office and in his damn car driving all around town just to make sure nothing was falling apart on his watch.

“It wasn’t easy.”

“I know that now,” she muttered, drinking more of her coffee. “How is Margo?”

“In need of a haircut,” Ben said, bring up the entire reason he came to her office. “But otherwise, fine. She asks about you.”

“Really?” Rey perked, stunned by the news. She shrugged pleasantly surprised, setting her coffee back down. “I thought she hated me.”

“So, so,” he answered, “she trusts you, so that says something.”

“I guess.” Biting on her lower lip, she looked back up at him, apologetic. “I’ll stop by tomorrow afternoon, do the usual check-up. And take care of the haircut form.”

“Good,” Ben said, tapping the counter. He spared a small glance at her, not quite pleased but feeling a shift of truce. “I still pissed at you,” he admitted. “For a multitude of reasons—"

“Same,” she supplied without remorse.

“But I’m free every Tuesday and Thursday at this time.” Ben inhaled deeply. He knew he needed to be the bigger man or else they’d both drown in this ridiculousness. “And I am always an ear willing to listen.”

“Listen?”

“Yes.”

She raised an eyebrow. Amusement glinted from her, yet there was a hesitance he knew all too well. “Are you offering to helping me?”

“I…” he shrugged, a little helpless. “I just remember what it was like being young, dealing with some of the shit this job throws at you and feeling there was no one to talk to,” he paused, feeling exposed, “No one to talk to who understood what I was going through.”

Her exterior hardened, sitting taller. Part of her reverting to childish tactics, while remember she was an adult. _His equal_ —not a child. “I’m not going to forgive you,” she stated calmly.

“I don’t expect you to and don’t expect the same from me.”

“But…I see what you mean.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

When they met for coffee the following Thursday, Rey handed Ben a copy of the approved and signed form.

“You can now let Margo get a haircut—you’ve actually been approved any future ones as well while she is in your care.”

“Oh, thank you,” Ben unable to hide his surprise, “That was quicker than I anticipated.”

“Well,” she shifted on her feet, a bit bashful, “I took your words to heart. It’s not just _me_ , it’s all of us working to make things better for a kid. So I’m trying to do my part.”

Ben’s eyebrows jumped up, humming in acknowledgement. “Good for you.”

Clicking her tongue, Rey slid into the seat beside him.

A dark chocolate mocha was passed to her.

She didn’t smile, but nodded at the gesture.

A good foot and half remained between them. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

He did the same before ducking his head away, focusing on the coffee in front of him.

Her foot kicked his, Ben peeking over at her with a stern frown. She mirrored his expression.

Without mercy, he kicked her back.

A short game commenced, a tiny snort coming from Rey when she kicked him slightly too high, Ben nearly knocking over his coffee.

Mirthful gazes held each other.

Then Rey looked away, the moment broken.

( _A young Rey, probably twelve, accidently kicked Ben when she swung her legs as she ate her ice cream. As she was about to apologize, a light kick back caused her to withhold her words._

_Looking up at Ben, she found him feigning interest in the ceiling. Whistling off key, he caught her gaze._

_She frowned at him._

_He frowned back with just as much fervor…_

_And kicked her lightly again._

_A spark of offend giggles came from Rey, she kicking back.)_

Not the same as old times, but something next to similar. Maybe something verging on to being _better_ than the old times.

However, that was getting ahead—

“Have you ever had to let a kid go back to their parents knowing you’re going to see them again in two months’ time because the parents won’t follow through?”

“Yes.”

“Shit,” she hissed, taking a big gulp of her coffee, “I’m going to need something stronger than coffee.”

Ben laughed loudly—clasping a hand over his mouth half a second too late. A few other customers sent him bothersome glances, annoyance radiating off of them.

He shrunk a little at the attention, a flush rising up his neck.

Yet her brief, hidden smile made it all worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben are idiots. Idiots who will learn to get along again, find a new normal in their friendship that could easily be something more, but idiots. You'll understand later.
> 
> Yes, foster parents need to get approval to let kids under their care get haircuts. It is easier to admit them into a hospital than to get a haircut.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! Love discussing the fic with readers :D


	14. Tuesdays and Thursdays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy :D

* * *

 

 

When he offered, Ben did not think Rey would follow through.

There was hurt, pain, maybe regret lined in their gazes. A tension of frustration and confusion pulling the strings taut in each interaction thus far since she showed up with Margo on his doorstep.

Part of him, the fantastical and romantic side he often ignore, wondered in New Year's Eve was a dream.

A figment of his imagination. That he didn't earnestly entertain the thought of something more lingering in the air as she walked away.

Yet she showed up like clockwork every Tuesday and Thursday. She had yet to miss one over the last three months.

Sometimes she'd rant.

Eyes alight with a fire he always wondered she possessed. Her words blades and sizzling as she articulated every flaw and opportunity for progress the system seemed to ignore.

Some days she'd be quiet.

Sip her coffee pensively. Grunt and mutter here and there. Enough to get through the hour.

And sometimes, she'd just talk. Talk about anything. Movies. Books. A random thing a co-worker said in passing. Sometimes she'd show him a funny meme, usually they involved Lisa Simpson from The Simpsons to some degree. Or dogs. She loved dogs. Had loved dogs for as long as he'd known her.

Ben had been disheartened to learn she never did adopt a dog. He hoped one day she would, preferably one that had a heart just as large as hers.

Their meetings never verged into anything too weighty or personal. Nothing like New Years. Work and trivial conversations seemed to be their unspoken approved topics. Ben wasn’t necessarily fine with that...but he'd take what he could get. He'd wait and listen, provide advice whether she asked for it or not and sometimes... And sometimes he'd catch her with a ghost of a smile or a twitch of the lips.

Suddenly his chest would constrict and it felt a little worth it. A little worth it to spend his longer lunches with a woman who seemed to hate him and miss him all at once.

However, she threw him for loop one afternoon. "I need your help."

Jaw working to find words, the only somewhat intelligent response Ben could come up with was— "What?"

"My car broke down this morning and I need someone to take me to the auto shop," she explained, a pragmatic air to her plea. "I have very few options and I am not going to call Poe to help again. His ego is inflated enough as it is."

"Uh, sure," Ben stood up, digging for his keys, "I already ordered for us—"

"I'll grab it, just bring the car around," she ordered, already striding to the pickup counter.

He blinked at where she stood—Rey was asking for his help.

Asking for his help for something beyond a work related matter.

Not to sound too pathetic, but he never thought the day would come.

When she glanced over to find him there, Rey scowled and waved Ben off. "Hurry, we only got an hour before you need to get back!"

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Take another left," Rey directed, checking the route on her phone again. "And then a right."

"It feels like I have been driving in circles." Despite his comment, he listened and took a left. "I didn't even know there was an auto shop this far out."

"Well..." She elongated the word, a wince edging through, "...it's not necessarily a real auto shop." Ben's eyebrows jumped. "But she can do it and charges a fair price—"

"You should go to a professional.”

“She’ll be a professional,” Rey paused, doing the math, “in a couple of years. She’s just saving up money right now to open her own place.”

Humming in disagreement, Ben took a right on to a familiar street. The Tico’s street.

“It’s the third house on the right,” she informed him, a faint giddiness in her voice.

With parking tight, Coming to a stop a couple of houses down, Rey dashed out of the car before he finished parking.

Then Ben saw it—sitting in the open garage was the Falcon. Old, banged up, but taken care of despite the years of torture his father put the old machine through.

 _She…she kept it_.

After all these years she kept the car. And it was her car—one she used every day to get to work. The car she used to leave, the car she used to get to and from campus while in college. His father’s car—the one time family car—was _hers_.

Logically, Ben knew she took the car. Han gifted it to her, even help her figure out the insurance and all the paperwork. It was legally hers to keep. But he assumed she’d sell it once it broke down on her one too many times. Or put the car in storage once she saved up enough for a new model, something more energy efficient than that guzzling death trap.

But, no.

She kept it.

And was getting it fixed.

For some reason, he found it to be the most endearing thing he had come to witness in months. Maybe _years_.

Shutting off the car, he got out, bracing himself to face the machine that provided an escape for the two people he cared most about.

“…I don’t know where to find a replacement—they don’t make these anymore,” Rose Tico stressed, motioning to a broken valve under the hood. “And someone completely altered the engine! I did some research and this isn’t the engine it came with—”

“That’s because my dad made the Falcon his pet project,” Ben interjected as he came to Rey’s side. Rose Tico’s eyes widen at the sight of him. She sent Rey a confused stare before looking back at Ben, waiting for further explanation. “He wanted the best features of twenty years ago to be in this car. He just didn’t take into account he’d give the car to someone and leave them with the heavy lifting of constantly updating.”

“Oh,” Rose uttered, looking between Ben and car. Her eyes brightened at an idea. “Do…do you maybe want to give me a hand then? Since you know this car—”

“Ben just came to be my ride,” Rey readily supplied, taking a protective step forward. “He’s actually on his lunch right now and is going to be taking me back since I’m out of a car.”

His eyebrows furrowed, surprised at her sudden defense and excuses for him. In fact, Ben was more so stunned she was speaking _for_ him.

Rose did not seem to notice this, merely nodding in understanding. “Well if either of you can get some more info on the car and it’s additions, I think I might be able to help a _little_ more.”

“Absolutely,” Rey declared. “I can do that. Thank you so much again, Rose.”

The petite woman shrugged, giving her old friend a smile. “No problem, it’s always nice to see you and fixing a car is just a bonus.”

The two chuckled as they shared their goodbyes, Rose not so subtly giving Ben a stern, curious glance. Walking down the driveway and to the care, Rey peeked over her shoulder and frowned. A small huff escaped her, she shuffling a bit closer to him until their shoulders occasionally brushed.

He tried not to think nothing of it. They were just walking, albite closer than most people would walk together when they were unattached, but walking nonetheless.

But her air and tone spoke of something else. An nervous edge to her. She’d been that way since they arrived at the Tico’s house.

“What was that?” Ben asked.

“What was _what_?”

“That,” he said, “back there. You were acting weird.”

“I wasn’t acting weird.” She scoffed, looking out the window. They were slowly making their way out of the suburbs and back into downtown, the midday traffic causing them to come to a standstill. “You were acting weird. You didn’t need to come out of the car.”

“I drove you,” Ben stated plainly, “and you were having troubles with the Falcon—I would have felt weird just sitting here when I could have helped.”

“How could you have helped?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, his shoulders rise and falling dramatically, “provide Rose a list of all the shit my dad put in that car—maybe I could’ve helped that way.”

“She doesn’t need _your_ help—she’s a practical genius she could have figured it out on her own!” Rey argued, leaning further away from him and into the passenger side door. “You don’t need to put your nose into my business,” she muttered to the window.

His hands tighten on the steering wheel, an burst of indignation marginally contained inside him. He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Well, it becomes my business when I am suddenly your chauffeur and you start speaking for me—”

Head falling forward, she groaned into her hands. “I wasn’t speaking for you! I was just telling her the truth!” She sat back up, hazel eyes focused and calculated on him. A frightening and silencing sight. “You _do_ have work. This _is_ your lunch break and you did _not_ have time to just prattle off information.”

“I would have if it could help you get your car fixed sooner—”

“ _Well I didn’t want you to_!”

“That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!”

“I don’t want you helping her fix the car, what is so wrong about that?” she shot back, her chest heaving. “What is so wrong about me wanting to keep _this_ between us—”

“Keep _what_ between us?” Ben asked, feeling his fighting a blind battle. “We are just…two people who— _fuck, I don’t know_ —two people who get coffee together every Tuesday and Thursday.”

Apparently that was the _wrong_ answer, Rey crossing her arms and looking straight ahead. Failing at school her expression she attempted to calm her breathing.

“I don’t know what you want me to say!” Ben shouted, about to rip at the steering wheel.

Traffic remained unmoving; at a standstill. Bumper to bumper. All the cars lined up and waiting. Yet nothing happened the long Ben stared out into the road.

Swallowing tightly, he peeked at her.

Only to find her looking at him.

Catching his gaze, she looked away.

Well, then.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he repeated, this time slower and softer. “Because sometimes…I think we’re friends again. And sometimes…” he raked a hand though his hair, a heavy sigh slipping out of him. “And sometimes we’re something completely different and I don’t know what that is and I don’t think you do either.”

A squirm came from her, the tension releasing from her shoulders ever so slightly.

“I mean, we have to _at least_ be friends if I drove all the way out here so you could check on your car,” Ben said with a forced chuckle.

“Maybe,” she admitted begrudgingly, “maybe we are?” A miserable shadow came upon her, Rey slumping against the passenger seat. “I didn’t know who else to call. It’s not like I have family to rely on.” Ben felt a pang at the word, though it faded fast as she continued. “And sure, I have ‘friends’. People I knew in high school that like to occasionally talk to me for a catch up or call when either one of us needs a favor within our realm,” she gestured to behind her, indicating that was the case with Rose, “but it’s just _me_. All the time.” Her voice cracked, her eyes finding his again. A bit of heartbreak and longing shining back at him. “And it fucking sucks to realize I have no one to turn to when I’m in a pinch, or when I can’t do something by myself.”

Ben licked his lips, his mind fumbling for an answer. An answer to help her, to bring her some comfort. But as he scrounged through every wise word he could say, he came up empty handed.

So, in a moment of defeat, he spoke from the heart. “Sometimes when we’ve been independent for far too long, we forget what it is like to be dependent. I think us independent people forget how to be open to dependence because you’re not supposed to go through life alone.” He paused, his gaze locking on hers. Both vulnerable for once and not shying away or throwing up a wall.  “No one is supposed to go through this life shit alone.”

Her face softened, as though seeing him in a new light. “You sound like you are speaking from experience.”

“I—”

A blaring horn rang out behind them.

Followed by several more.

“Shit-shit-shit,” Ben quickly started driving, before more angry drivers could start honking their horns at him. The lane before him moved speedily, the standstill now long gone and moving into steady flowing traffic. “Didn’t even realize…” he continued to mutter, the car behind him honking again.

Without remorse, he flipped off the guy behind him.

A string of curses were soon shouted back, the sound muffled by the cars and windows. Ben made haste to get into a different lane and drive on his way.

Chuckles spewed from Rey, she sinking into her seat as mirth consumed her. “Oh my god! You were holding up the lane—”

“Shut up,” he grumbled.

Her cackles continued. “Your face just turned this _shade of red_!”

“I said shut up,” he huffed, though felt his own smile begin to emerge.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“When do you get off work?” Ben asked as he walked Rey back to her office.

“Around five-ish,” she then rolled her eyes, “at least that is the plan.”

“Plan it then.”

She raised a curious eyebrow. “Plan it?”

“Yeah,” Ben nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Because I’m picking you up around five-ish and you’re going to have dinner at my place, with me and Margo.”

She chewed on her lower lip, ducking her head down, an excuse on her the tip of her tongue. “Ben, I—”

“No, you _are_ coming,” he stressed very clearly, “Margo and I are making spaghetti, which can turn out to be great or another night of take out.”

Rey laughed. “You never were a great cook.”

“Please Rey,” he asked once more, knowing she was still on the fence. “Please come and have dinner. I’ll even drive you back to your place after.”

Closing her eyes, she reeled herself into a reluctant nod. “Okay, fine,” she said as they came to her cubical, “since you _insist_.”

“Perfect.”

For a moment they stood, not quiet sure how to say goodbye. Meeting at the coffeeshop felt like a lifetime ago. All their previous departures involved a wave or a hesitant smile, but nothing more.

But something changed. A shift occurred, one both were aware of but could not put a label on just yet.

Because now Rey and Ben were making plans for _dinner_.  A homecooked dinner, one Rey never imagined herself to be subject to, especially at his place.

So Rey did what felt right—

She wrapped her arms around Ben and gave him a hug.

Their first hug in very long time.

And for moment, Rey felt at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone catch the passage of time? Three months have passed since the previous chapter.
> 
> Also, was Rey--dare I say--jealous of the idea of Rose and Ben being around each other? Maybe so.
> 
> We made some progress, but I think there is still much more growth in need with these two. And we'll get there. Trust me.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing fic with readers :D


	15. A Special Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Between this chapter and the previous, roughly five to six months have passed. Yeah, time flies.
> 
> Here is some fluff, a dash of angst, and a surprise! :D
> 
> Typos will be fixed later! 
> 
> Enjoy

* * *

 

 

Dinners became a thing.

Practically an _everyday_ thing.

One invite turned into multiple invites, to Rey casually talking about dinner during their Tuesday and Thursday meetings and different dishes she thinks they could make together—

 

_“A chicken marsala is simple and think Margo would really like it since it has mushrooms and white sauce.”_

_“She does like mushrooms.”_

 

Then _meal planning_ became a thing. Dishes and parts of recipes Margo or Ben could start on their own and Rey to help finish once she got off work. Most week day evenings they’d be crammed together in the kitchen, hovering over Rey’s shoulder as she explained the steps clear and concise.

Greedily, Margo soaked up the information, excited to take the reins whenever Rey passed the spoon to her. She’d followed directions as ordered, a small smile on her lips as she realized she made the dish correctly. Giggle and cheers came from the girls as they worked together, Ben still a failure in the kitchen, but willing to be an assistant to his two favorite ladies if so desired. But most of the time Rey would shoo him away to another corner of the kitchen as she and Margo worked diligently on their meal.

 

_“I’ve seen you burn water—I don’t want to anywhere near this stove,” Rey taunted in the kitchen. A stream of chuckles came from Margo each and every time, the two ganging up on him with the teasing._

 

Then somehow dinners, meal planning, and cooking together turned into going out for dessert on Friday nights.

Arguing over cinnamon rolls and debates over the best cakes in town became highlights of the weekend.

 

_“I think Rey’s right, the lemon is better!” Margo gushed, she and Rey sharing a devious glance._

_“Wrong and wrong!” Ben pointed his plastic fork to the two violently, “Chocolate is the best and none of you know anything about cake!”_

_“Chocolate is so…” Rey shrugged, “I don’t know…basic.”_

_Ben’s eyes went ablaze. “Basic? Seriously—it is a rich, warm flavor—”_

_“That is just too much sometimes,” Rey countered, Margo giggling behind her hands at the two. “It is—oh my god!”_

_A slather of chocolate cake frosting was wiped on her nose. The culprit, Ben, smirked at her as he waved the two frosting coated fingers at her._

_“Ben!” She cried out._

_Before either knew it she, smashed half her lemon cake on the side of his face. With force, she mushed the cake into his cheek and smeared it across his mouth. Ben shook her off a mix of laughter and shock blending together._

_“There—how’s that?” she asked, eating the cake off her hand._

_Licking his lips, Ben hummed, but did not outright agree. “Maybe you have a point about the lemon.”_

_Her eyes twinkled at the victory. A somersault rumbling within him at the sight._

 

Together all three would walk back to the apartment, departing separate ways once they reached the building. Ben and Margo inside while Rey went to the Falcon.

An oddly domestic, yet wonderful development…Despite the fact Margo was increasingly becoming the middle man in their little… _group_. Sure Tuesdays and Thursdays were _theirs_ , but all other outings included Margo. To the point Ben sometimes wondered if Rey only spent time with him in order to spend time with her case.

Ben tried not think too much of it.

He loved spending any time he could with Rey. It was no secret he adored her and missed her presence in his life. Margo reminded him every single time Rey left for the night.

Such as that very night—

“You were staring again,” the twelve year old taunted.

“No, I wasn’t,” he shot back, locking up the door with the deadbolt.

“Yes, you were,” Margo sang back, “with big wide eyes, like she hung the moon!”

“You need to stop reading romance novels,” Ben said bypassing her to the kitchen to finish cleaning up the dishes. “They are turning your brain to mush.”

“They are _your_ romance novels!” Margo reminded Ben. She skipped up to him by the sink, bumping his shoulder. “Remember I only have a couple of books—”

“Hey,” he flicked water at her, “None of that. What have I told you?”

“‘What’s mine, is yours’,” she droned back on cue, a sentiment drilled into her once Ben realized it was a bit excessive of her to be asking for permission to use or borrow every little thing in the apartment. She’s already been with him for nearly six months, and Margo occasionally still struggled to accept the concept. The concept being Ben wanted her to feel at home, wanted her to acknowledge the apartment was her home, and that maybe it could very well be her _permanent_ home.

By second nature, Margo grabbed a dish towel to dry off the dishes and put them away. A simple routine they’d had since she moved in all those months ago. One they never missed without fail. Short, dark, wavy locks bounced around her face as she worked, tonguing sticking out to the side in concentration. She glance up at him every so often, giving a bright grin.

A _concerning_ bright grin.

Her sharp, narrowed eyes caused him to be wary.

“You _like_ her,” Margo accused as she dried a plate.

“Who?” Ben countered, raising an eyebrow.

“Rey!”

“Sure, I like Rey,” Ben said, Margo’s eyes widening with delight, “as a friend. Which she is and she’s your friend too.”

The twelve year old groaned, dropping her head on the kitchen counter, her task now long forgotten. “No! You like her-like her,” she stressed. “Like she is your everything!”

“I am taking away the romance novels—no more Jane Austen for you,” Ben grabbed the dried off plate from the counter and placed them in the high cabinet.

An indignant gasp sounded from the girl. “You’re just saying that because you don’t want to admit you like her!”

“Because I don’t,” Ben said, turning to face Margo. “I don’t know why you have it—”

“Because every time she’s here you have this—this _look_ ,” the girl insisted, “Like she holds your heart in her hands and how does that _not_ mean you like her or love her?”

Ben chewed hard on his upper lip.

“And she’s always here—”

“You don’t like her being here?”

“I love her being here,” Margo said sternly, knowing Ben was trying to pull one on her. Living with each other for half a year did teach her a thing or two. “And she likes being here too. She’s always looking at you too—”

“No, she’s not,” he shook his head, getting back to drying the dishes Margo neglected. “Margo—kiddo—Rey is a grown woman. Any little crush she had one me is long gone.” He scoffed a bit, busying himself with wiping down the already clean counter. “I’m ten years older than her and was like family to her. If she did like this,” he motioned to himself, “then it is a fluke and there is nothing of it.”

The girl gaped at him, stunned.

A loud groan then tore through her. “UGH! YOU ARE THE _WORST_!”

Turning on her heel, she marched to her bedroom, leaving Ben in her wake.

“Margo!”

“Leave me alone!”

Ben realized, horribly so, he had a stubborn and determined preteen in his hands. This was merely the first of many arguments concerning Rey.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next few days were tense and everyone noticed.

Summer vacation meant Ben worked a shorter work day, working summer school and developing new course plans for the students he was assigned for the following school year. Of course, this meant Margo had tag along when he went to the office for the day, forced to sit with him as he worked. Normally, it wasn’t a problem. The girl knew how to keep herself entertained, reading and writing to fill the time. Sometimes she’d be asked to run an errand for Ben or any of the other counselors or secretaries in the office, everyone seemingly charmed by the girl.

However, this was not the case the days following their argument. Margo groaned and sighed the entire time she sat in his office, purposely being loud to annoy him.

And then there was the silent treatment. He’d ask a her a simple question, only for her to flat out ignore him or stare back confused, as though he spoke a foreign language.

His colleagues would chuckle at the display when they stumbled upon the two, calling Ben a _real_ father.

Ben on the other hand did not find Margo’s stubbornness amusing in the slightest. He understood _why_ Margo was upset—she was an emotional and romantic girl. Ben had sat through enough rom-coms on Saturday nights to understand the full force of Margo’s fantastical ideals.

But she _could not_ play fantasy or matchmaker between he and Rey.

And she _could not_ get attached to the idea of he being in love with Rey. Such thoughts led to others, such as marriage and being a big happy family, and he couldn’t promise those ideas to the girl. He couldn’t promise a potential mother when he himself wasn’t her father quite yet.

Margo hung up on the idea of romance between Rey and Ben would only lead to trouble for every one involved. She just needed to get over it, and if sitting through silent treatments until she was tired of his stubbornness was the way to go, then so be it.

Matters only seemed to get worse, the girl upping her tactics whenever Rey was around for dinner.

Margo would ignore Ben at the dinner table, she sending him small glares every so often. Pleasantly, the girl would ask Rey to pass the butter that was _obviously_ closer to Ben, refusing to interact directly with him.

Dutifully, Rey listened. Though her concerned gaze dance between the two through out dinners, aware of the tension. However on Thursday, she decided to tentatively broach a conversation that included both Margo and Ben.

“So….” Rey elongated the word, her voice low. “Do you have any plans for the weekend?” she asked a little giddiness in her voice. All three individuals at the table knew what was that weekend. All keenly aware, the youngest of the three had been dropping hints all the way up until her stand off with Ben.

All mentions of hints of the special day were dropped at an instant.

Ben’s eyes shifted from Rey to Margo, the girl glaring into her spaghetti. The twelve year old pursed her lips, acting disinterested in the conversation.

“No,” Ben answered Rey’s question, sending Margo a stern look in return. “No plans.”

Rey deflated at the news, a little offended. “Seriously? No plans? None whatsoever?”

Popping a meatball in his mouth, Ben shook his head slowly. “None.”

“But isn’t it Mar—”

“ _None_ , Rey.”

Openly, she frowned at him.

From across the table, Margo sighed—not her usual huffing sigh, but a genuinely sad sigh. “I’m full. May I be excused?”

“Of course, sweetie,” Rey answered before Ben could get a word in.

Smiling gratefully at the women, Margo marched off with sparing Ben a glance. The two adults watched as she emptied her plate and placed the dish in the sink. Without another word, she left the kitchen and went to her room.

Rey and Ben remained silent until her bedroom door shut.

“What the _hell_ did you do to that sweet little girl?” Rey demanded in a whirl.

“Why do you assume _I_ did something?” Ben asked, not entirely pleased over how quick Rey was to judge. “Little Miss Attitude is actually at fault here—”

“I don’t care what it is,” Rey held a hand up to stop any excuses, “all I know is her birthday is this weekend and you said you have no plans.”

Horror washed over Ben’s face, he standing up from the table. “Do you really think that lowly of me, that didn’t have anything planned this weekend?”

Rey’s raised eyebrow and penetrating silence was answer enough.

“I am not that lousy of a father,” he explained, grabbing his empty plate. “For your information, I have had her birthday planned for _weeks_ , her little spike of attitude is what’s fucking it up.”

“You have something planned?” Rey could not hide her excitement, her initial anger forgotten.

“Yes,” Ben peeked over to the hall.

Margo’s door was shut. Closed tight and the light was on. He could even faintly hear her music playing…

He turned back to Rey with a mischievous grin. “We’re going to Castilon and spending the afternoon at their massive indoor arcade.”

Her eyes lit up. “The one with the roller rink and carnival games?” she gasped out.

“ _Yes_ ,” Ben stressed, also excited about the idea, “the very same place she’s been begging me to take her to since she found out about it months ago.”

Gathering her plate and drink, she followed Ben to the kitchen, preferring to take their conversation from potential prying little ears. “Why don’t you tell her?”

“Because it’s a surprise,” Ben answered, setting down his plate in the sink and turning on the facet. “But she’s being a little shit right now, so it’s ruining the fun.” Grabbing the sponge and soap, he started washing the dishes. “I try to do something nice and I am still the bad guy.”

“You are _not_ the bad guy,” Rey scoffed, looking for a dish towel. Finding one, she joined him by the sink, bumping his shoulder. “She doesn’t even know you are planning this—hell, I didn’t even know you were planning this.” She frowned, peeking up at him sternly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you would have told her in a heartbeat,” he said with a knowing smirk. “You two are as thick as thieves. It’s a annoying.”

Rey giggled, whacking his arm with the towel. “You like it, you grump.”

“Whatever.”

“Why is she even upset?” she asked, drying off the first plate. “Sure, she’s moody. But she’s clearly upset if she’s been like this for days.”

Ben paused, biting on the inside of his cheek. He couldn’t tell Rey the truth, that was sure. So he found a round about way to tell her. “Let’s just say she stuck her nose where it shouldn’t be, I scolded her and she got upset.”

Rey tsked. “Ah, I see. It is a father-daughter dilemma.”

“I’m not her father.”

“That’s what you say,” she taunted, “but I have eyes. Fatherhood suits you well,” she complimented lightly, though the words caused heat to rise to his ears.

Ben cleared his throat, hoping his voice wouldn’t crack. “ _Uh_ , thank you.”

Unfortunately it did, causing Rey to snicker delightfully at the sound.

“Hopefully she get’s over it soon so we can actually enjoy the surprise this weekend.”

“Who says you are going?” he teased.

“Who said I _wasn’t_?” she countered cheekily. Of course she was going; it was a given at this point.

Sharing mocking glares with each other, the two resumed washing the dishes.

 

 

* * *

 

 

On Saturday, Margo’s birthday, Ben withheld all festivities.

 

“I think it’s a bad idea,” Rey argued the previous night when they went out for ice cream.

Margo had refused to get ice creaming, claiming she was lactose intolerant.

She wasn’t.

But neither Rey or Ben were going to argue with her on the matter.

“She wants to be stubborn, then I’ll let her be stubborn,” Ben defended, about to take a lick from his cone.

Only to find Rey already taking a large bite of his cookies and cream.

“Hey!”

“Sorry,” she mumbles, wiping the corner of her mouth. “You just had it right in front of me.”

“You don’t even like cookies and cream,” Ben reminded her, as they went back to join Margo at the bench a few feet away from the stand.

“But I like ice cream.” She licked her own chocolate chip cookie dough further cementing her point. “I still think it is a bad idea. What if she thinks you forgot?”

Ben scoffed. “That won’t happen.”

 

However, that was _exactly_ what happened.

 

The morning has been uneventful, Margo walking into the kitchen with a bounce in her step and staring up at Ben with big eyes.

“What’s for breakfast?”

“What we always have for breakfast on Saturday,” he said, sipping his morning coffee slowly. “Cereal and morning cartoons.”

“Oh,” she deflated slightly. Before perking right back up as though remembering he was right there. “Okay, can you get me down the _Fruit Loops_ , please?” she asked quietly.

Without arguing, he did as she asked, before leaving for the living room coffee in hand.

Silently they ate their breakfast as they watched _Star vs. The Forces of Evil_ , Margo sending Ben mini glares the entire time. Neither spoke, only for the occasional giggle or comments about the show.

Part of Ben wanted to wish the girl happy birthday, watch her face light up at his remembrance, but she still refused to break the attitude. But as the hours ticked by, Margo slumped further and further into herself, Ben realized maybe he made a mistake.

Maybe he should have just wished her happy birthday despite their apparent standoff. But with all her glaring and moping, he had no idea which reason if happened to be for—their argument, he not wishing her happy birthday, or both.

More than likely both.

But he felt he was in to deep now to suddenly tell her happy birthday. He’d have to stick it out until the surprise.

Around eleven in the morning, Margo finally got up from the couch and went to take a shower.

Once he heard the door close, he called Rey. “I fucked up.”

Her exasperated sigh did little to help ease his nerves, but she followed up with an, “Okay, we’ll fix this.”

And all worries vanished; because Rey was going to fix it and fixing was what she did best.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“THIS HAMBURGER IS AS BIG AS MY HEAD!” Margo yelped when her food was placed down in front of her, her mood doing a complete one-eighty since that morning.

Sitting across from each other, Rey and Ben shared a  relieved glance. Apparently food was the way to go to uplift the girl’s spirits, Rey stopping by and insisting on taking them out to for lunch, ‘for fun.’

Margo’s sneaky grin at Rey’s arrival gave a hint to the girl that _maybe_ they did have something planned for that day. Of course going to _Cantina Burgers and Shakes_ was not part of plan, but seeing his kid’s face light up was enough. And Margo could always use a bit more spoiling in his opinion.

Margo lifted the burger ready to take a big bite, Ben suddenly waving her to stop. “Whoa kiddo, how about we cut that in half so it doesn’t fall apart.”

She deflated at the concern, but passed her plate to Ben nonetheless. Across from him, Rey munched happily on her fries, a budging smile on her lips as she gazed at Margo.

His heart picked up pace, Ben nearly nicking his finger in the process. Luckily, no one noticed.

The three ate in companionable silence, the birthday girl humming happily as she chewed. This earned a few chuckles from Rey, she passing a couple of napkins to Margo as she was slowly getting messier and messier.

About halfway through the meal, in-time clapping came from the kitchens and grew louder as waiters joined along on the journey to their table.

“ _Happy-Happy Birthday_!” was sang amongst them as a little sundae was placed in front of Margo.

A little blue candle flickered before her, her eyes widening. Excitedly, she looked between Rey and Ben. “You guys remembered?”

“Yes!”

“Of course!” Ben assured her. Bygones be bygones, their little tiff meant nothing at this point, long forgotten between guardian and child. “Now make a wish, before the candle melts.”

Taking a deep breath, the girl closed her eyes and thought hard, brows furrowing. A second later, she blew out the candle.

Brief cheers were heard before the waiters went back to their tasks, the little moment gone and passed, Margo already digging through her sundae.

“Shit, I didn’t even record it,” Ben realized a moment too late.

Rey waved him off, setting down her phone. “No worries, I got a few pictures and video with mine. I’ll text it to you later.”

“Thank you,” he said, hoping she understood it was for more than the video, but for saving the day from a potential meltdown.

Cheeks flushing, she nodded once, smiling down at her nearly empty plate. Ben felt himself smiling back, finding her odd bashfulness… _adorable_.

“Um, I need to go say ‘hi’ to a friend,” she stood abruptly, her face still flush, “he works here—actually is the chef. I told him we were coming,” she explained hastily.  She only walked a couple of feet before said friend walked up to her and brought her into a big bear hug. The man held Rey close—closer than just friends in Ben’s opinion.

“Peanut!” he cried out.

“ _Peanut_!” she replied with just as much joy.

A stir occurred in Ben’s chest, his grip tightening on the crumpled napkin in his hand.

Margo quirked an eyebrow at him. Ben’s eyes narrowed. They weren’t going to start this shit up again when they just go back to silent, but good terms.

“Um, this is Finn,” Rey quickly introduced, dragging the young man over. He seemed bright and good-natured, holding his hand out for Ben to shake. Politely, he complied, forcing a smile. “And this is Ben and Margo.”

“When Rey said she was bringing her _family_ , I nearly flipped,” Finn said, preictally gushing. The flush became permanent on across Rey’s neck and cheeks, she wincing. “No offense but she never talks about her family—I mean, I’m the same way too. We’re both foster kids—”

The name and face finally clicked. “Finn Storm.”

The guy turned back to him, blinking in surprise. “Uh yeah—”

“I was you’re caseworker,” Ben said, a little in awe. “For a short while, towards the end.”

Finn’s eyebrows jumped. “Mr. Solo?” he gaped, frantically looking between Rey and Ben. “Mr. Solo is your Ben?”

Rey chuckled awkwardly. “I wouldn’t say my—”

“Mr. Solo was the best,” he explained, “if not a bit of jackass, sorry.”

Ben shook his head, a smirk on his lips. “None taken. I will admit, finding you at a gay bar when you ran off that one time is a highlight of my career.”

Finn laughed, a fully belly laugh, at the comment, earning confused glances from Rey and Margo.

“Such a small world,” Finn wheezed, shaking his head. “You know what—this entire meal is on the house.”

“What? NO—Finn,” Rey scolded, already reaching for her wallet. “We will pay—”

“No, no, no,” Finn insisted, “I was already going to do it, but seeing Ben and you two with your kid—”

“ _She’s not my_ —”

“ _Um, I’m her_ —”

Both Rey and Ben’s words were drowned out by Finn’s insistence and the chatter of the restaurant. He wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer. Margo beamed up at Finn, he ruffling the girl’s hair. “Think of it as a birthday present!”

Unable to argue against him as Finn was already walking away, Rey and Ben huffed.

“We’re leaving a good tip,” Rey declared, sitting back down.

“I like him,” Margo announced, Ben quirking an eyebrow, “he seems cool.”

“He’s alight,” Rey muttered, tucking the tip under the edge of a plate before she could forget. “A little too nosey, but alright.”

As Margo happily resumed eating, Ben caught Rey’s eye.

“ _Family_?” he mouthed, confusion pulling on his face.

She simply shrugged, turning to ask Margo about the sundae, effectively closing the door on the matter.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Two things Ben learned upon entering the roller rink—

  1. Margo knew how to roller skate _well_. Better than either he or Rey, and was already overlapping them.
  2. It was nearly impossible to hold a conversation over the sound of skates and booming techno-pop music.



 

“I think you did good,” Rey complimented, attempting keep her balance.

“WHAT?” Ben shouted back, the sound of Demi Lovato blasting through the speakers.

“I SAID I THINK YOU DID GOOD!” she shouted with a chuckle.

“Oh,” he mumbled, pushing himself a bit forward. “Thanks.”

“She loves this.”

“WHAT?”

“SHE LOVES THIS!” Rey yelled. Huffing, she rolled closer to Ben until their arms were brushing. Absentmindedly, he offered his arm to her, Rey gripping it tightly. “My goodness, I cannot keep yelling like this. I’ll lose my voice.”

“And the world can’t have that,” he quipped cheekily.

“Shut up!” She nudged him, not thinking of it. For a moment they both rocked and tittered, before finding their balance with each other once more. “Did you this is my first time roller skating?”

“I figured it would be,” he felt her grip on his arm slacken as they attempted to push themselves further along with the flow of skaters. “I don’t remember you going when you were younger.”

“I always wanted to,” she confessed quietly, “some of my friends in high school went but…” she shook her head. “I didn’t know how to do it, they all did, and I didn’t want to fall on my ass by myself.”

“So you’d rather fall on your ass with me?” he teased as they skated through the curve.

“I’d always like to fall on my ass with you,” she replied, “At least I won’t be alone.”

“You’re not alone,” he said, all jokes aside. Dropping her arm, he reach for her hand instead, grasping her surely. He needed her to know he was there for her, always would be there even though things

Hazel eyes meeting his, she blinked back softly. “Neither are you.”

Of course, neither noticed they’d slowed in the flow of skaters, a speed demon bumping right into Ben’s shoulder.

In a flourish of limbs and yelps, Ben fell back, dragging Rey down along with him. Her elbow rammed into his gut, Ben catching most of the brunt of the fall. Both laid still for a moment, stunned for a moment.

“Damn it, you had to speak it into existence,” Ben wheezed, the breath knocked out of him.

Half broken laughter coursed through Rey, she leaning heavily into his side. Hearing her laughter brought a full smile to his lips, unable to help himself but to join into her giggle fest.

Skaters maneuvered around them as they laid on the floor, two fully grown adults laughing like lunatics on the ground. Neither knew how long they laid there, the rest of the world fading away when with one another.

A sight of familiar mopey dark hair came into view. Margo peered down at them with a frown, more annoyance than concern. “Are you guys okay?”

Silently, holding back his mirth, Ben nodded.

“Yes,” Rey gasped.

“Then get up! You can’t be laying on the floor like that—you’ll get kicked out of the rink.” She waved at them to get up, offering a hand to Rey.

“I think Rey and I might be done with skating for the day,” Ben winced, wobbly standing up. Rubbing his back, he hissed. “We took a big fall.”

“No shit,” the girl muttered, earning a light scolding from both Rey and Ben for the swear. “People are staring, go! _Please_ —I’ll join you in a bit” she stressed, before taking off for another lap around the rink.

“Wow, already embarrassing her,” Rey said watching Margo take off,  “you are working fast on this ‘Embarrassing Dad’ job.”

Ben rolled his eyes, not bothering to comment on the ‘dad’ term. She’d been doing that more and more lately, choosing to refer to him as Margo’s dad, rather than foster father. It made him uneasy, considering nothing was official.

Listening to the girl, the two awkwardly skated their way to the rink exit, using each other for balance. Once out of the rink, they made their way back to the lockers to retrieve their shoes. From their spot, they could see Margo skating, catching up with some other boys and girls her age, easily making acquaintance with others. Neither Rey or Ben could relate, both a little too prickly for most of their peers growing up.

“It looks like she might take longer,” Ben mused as he tied his laces up, “Do you want to split a pretzel while we wait?”

Rey paused, foot halfway into her shoe, a little surprised by the suggestion. But it washed away within seconds, she nodding along happily. “Yeah, only is you promise to play some games with me. I saw some skeeball towards the back.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben breathed out, his heart thudding in his chest. “Let’s do that.”

She grinned, standing up from the carpeted bench. “Perfect.” She held her hand out to him, Ben taking it without second thought.

Yeah, for some reason being with her felt a little _perfect_.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“My legs are killing me,” Margo groaned, leaning heavily into Ben’s side.

After taking the train from Castilon, the three walked back to the apartment, considering the stations was within a few blocks of downtown. About a forty-five minute train ride, but worth it considering late night weekend traffic. The only downfall was the walking and carrying their belongings, Rey stuck carrying the giant teddy bear Ben won Margo at one of the carnival style games.

“It feels like they are going to fall right off,” Margo mumbled tiredly.

“Skating does that,” Rey teased the girl, ruffling her hair. “Wears you out a bit.”

Before reaching the crosswalk, Ben crouched down and motioned for Margo to get on his back. “Come on, hop on. I’m not going to listen to you complain the entire time.”

Not needing anymore convincing, Margo climbed on to Ben’s back, this not the first time she groaned about walking around town. Piggyback rides were not an uncommon occurrence between guardian and child.

Securely Ben held her by her legs as she hugged his neck. With one swift move, Ben stood up. A sleepy giggle came from the thirteen year old, she burrowing closer as the warm breeze rustled through the night. Ben slightly rolled his shoulders, checking over his shoulder to see if the girl was comfortable.

Within minutes Margo was lightly snoring on Ben’s shoulder, a dribble of drool pooling out.

Beside them, Rey smiled at the sight of the two. The father and daughter. Maybe not by blood, maybe not legally (yet), but emotionally. Rey had seen enough and heard enough to know Margo quietly considered Ben her father. Not so subtly hinted she wouldn’t mind living at the apartment forever.

Rey’s heart broke at the thought.

Because she didn’t know if Ben had any intention of adopting the girl.

But seeing them together, Margo asleep and Ben carrying her back home…She realized she needed to do all in her power to keep the girl with him.

Pressing the button for the crosswalk, Rey decided to bite the bullet. “So…do you ever plan to adopt?”

Ben froze, raising an eyebrow at her. “Are we seriously having this conversation now?”

“When else?” she shot back.

The crosswalk blinked with the ‘WALK,’ the two making their way down the street.

“I don’t know,” Ben said stiltedly, “When I don’t have the kid sleeping on my back.”

“Don’t avoid the question,” she reached over and brushed hair from Margo’s face, her waves flopping around as they walked. “I need to know if you plan to adopt.”

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Ben glanced down at her. A warm regret and softness shined back at her, a search for understanding.

Inhaling deeply, he looked back down their path then to her.  No escape from the question or looming conversation. “Would you be upset if I said yes?”

“Why would I be upset if you said ‘yes’?” Rey blinked dumbly up at him, a relieved smile twitching on her lips.

“Because…”

“Because what?”

“Because,” air was caught in the back of his throat, Ben struggling to get the words out, “because I almost adopted you.”

Pain threaded dangerously through his words, Rey feeling the lingering wound from Ben’s end of the situation in full force. His eyes roved her face, looking for an ounce of anger or remorse. Any red flag to warn him of impending doom, better yet impending distance.

“I didn’t want you to adopt me,” Rey reminded him gently, forcing herself to look away. “I thought I made that very clear.”

“You—you _did_ ,” Ben quickly assured her. “But that doesn’t mean there wasn’t hurt on both parts.”

“We’re going to really talk about this?” she said, hating how small her voice sounded.

“You were the one who brought up adoption,” Ben said, rolling his shoulders once more. While he’d been more active—Rey had seen the definition and bulge of his arms, a sculpting that had not been there a few years previous—walking with the dead weight of a thirteen year old for a few blocks could be strenuous. “Might as well clear the air.”

“I thought we could just let it all die in the past,” Rey muttered, shoving her hands into her pockets despite the warmer air. “Move on and forget.”

“No,” Ben said without missing a beat, “We’re not going to move on and forget _it_ happened. Take it from someone who attempts to forget all his awful choices and can’t for the life of him do it—you can’t just leave things in the past. They have a way of coming back if not addressed.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Rey kept a small distance away from him, though close enough for him to hear her quiet words. “I…didn’t want you to adopt me because…because well,” she hugged herself and the giant bear in her arms closer, squeezing her eyes shut. She felt like a teenager all over again, consumed with an absurd amount of feelings, with more than she could handle. But she wasn’t a teenager anymore, she was an adult. A fully grown adult and Ben’s equal. There was no need for fear. “Because I had feelings for you.”

“I know,” was all he said as they passed by a crowded pub. Only a block they’d be back at his apartment. “I know you had feelings for me. But I didn’t know at the time—

“I thought I was fairly obvious—at least that’s what everyone told me.”

“Maybe it was…” Ben said, hesitant, “but it wasn’t to me. And I’m sorry it wasn’t.”

Her eyes narrowed at the apology. “Don’t do that—say ‘sorry’.” She scoffed, earning a small furrow of confusion from Ben. “Because I highly doubt you would have done anything different if you knew of my feelings. You would have brushed them off—”

“I wouldn’t have brushed off your feelings—”

“But that’s what you did when I came to you that night,” she spat back,  “You brushed them away!”

A soft murmur came from Margo, the two adults stilling. When she turned her head away, remaining in the clutches of sleep, Ben and Rey sighed with relief.

Sharing a small glance, they continued on their trek, the apartment building now in sight.

“I wasn’t brushing your feelings away,” Ben muttered, taking a step closer to Rey. “I was setting _boundaries_.”

“But we didn’t have boundaries before.”

“But we _should_ have,” he stressed, a weariness in his voice. “We were…really close, Rey. Closer than any twenty-six year old and seventeen year old should have been.”

Her face scrunched up. “You’re making it sound like it was something bad.”

“It wasn’t,” he was quick to assure her, “At least from my perspective because like you always said, we are family. We’ll always be family in one way or another. But anyone else…or the fact it was apparently becoming obvious that your end of our relationship wasn’t platonic…” Ben sighed, turning to face Rey fully, “… _it wasn’t right_.”

The hurt teenager inside Rey griped. “Who would’ve cared what people thought—”

“How would _you_ feel if one of your cases—a kid who you saw grow up before your eyes—come up to you and kiss you? Then confess they have been in love with you since forever?” Ben asked, voice firm yet hallow.

Rey opened her mouth, but could not find the words.

She never saw the situation like that…she always thought Ben was…well she simply thought Ben did not return her feelings. All these years, she never care to go beyond the surface, hyper focused on how she felt, what she did, and what she lost. Never once did she wonder about Ben’s side of the story.

Luckily, they reached the apartment building, Rey rushing to open the door for him. As usual, Ben nodded to Threepio and Rey waved, the two acting as though they were not having a serious discussion in the face of the lobby manager. Stepping into the elevator, Rey pressed the seventh floor button, the lift jolting into action once the doors closed.

Pursing her lips, Rey stared back at their reflection in the mirrored elevator.

Ben rolled his shoulders and adjusted his grip on Margo, the girl out like a light. A droll stain sat on Ben’s shoulder, though he did not seem to mind. The giant bear in Rey’s arms felt heavier than before, but she still hugged it to her chest, protect the stuff animal at Margo’s request.

To an outsider, they’d look like a family.

A small, sweet family.

The thought made her heart constrict.

Because she wanted something like _this_ —not what Ben offered her all those years ago.

When the elevator dinged, Rey let Ben lead the way, she following half a step behind. Upon reaching the apartment, Ben silently motioned to his jacket pocket. Listening, Rey plucked the keys out and unlocked the door.

Upon entering the apartment, Rey reach for the lights only for Ben to shake his head. “Don’t bother, I want to keep her asleep as long as possible.”

He carefully walked through the dim foyer and living room, bright digital clocks on appliances the only source of light along with the nightlight in the hall. Rey followed him to Margo’s room, she depositing the giant bear down by the foot of the bed.

“A little help, please” Ben gasped, awkwardly leaning to the side to set Margo down. He looked a little silly and out of breath, the girl clinging to him like a monkey and refusing to let go.

Stifling a chuckle, Rey came over and gently removed Margo’s arms from around Ben’s neck. With some twisting and maneuvering, the two were able to set the girl down on the lower bunk of the bed. With practice, Ben removed Margo’s shoes and Rey helped get the girl’s light jacket off, both set to the side of her bed. Grabbing a throw blanket from the end of the bed, Ben draped the fleece over the girl.

A small grunt then came from Margo, Rey and Ben frozen mid-leave.

“Goodnight…” the girl mumbled as she snuggled deeper into her bed, “…love you guys.”

“Love you too, kiddo,” Ben whispered out to her, too far for Margo to hear.

Stepping back, he closed the door behind him and Rey, the two simply standing in the dark hall.

“She’s never said that to me before,” he confessed, leaning back against the door.

A short sniffle came from Rey, her eyes stinging. “I…I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me before.”

Neither said anything more, standing together in the hall until they could breathe a little easier.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I think I would have done the same thing,” Rey said as she poured water into her mug. The smell of English Breakfast filled her senses, calming her a little.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Ben raised an eyebrow, clutching his hot chocolate for dear life.

After Margo’s sweet and mumbled words, the two struggled to depart with one another, finding themselves fiddling around in the kitchen. Talking didn’t seem to be an option, at the moment, instead eating and drinking comfort food was the best mode of action. Without offering any to her, Ben made himself something to drink and choosing to eat an entire packaging of _Chip-Ahoy_ by himself. Meanwhile Rey busied herself with make tea and munching on pita chips, eating easier than addressing Margo, adoption, or their earlier conversation.

Of course Rey was disregarding their silent agreement by bring up the very topic she wanted to so desperately forget. Because Ben had a point—it was useless to forget and move on, especially the memory replayed in her mind for years. They needed to resolve the matter, even if it hurt.

“About what?” Ben asked, a reluctance in his tone.

“About…” she shrugged, “about what you did to me. About the whole case kissing you…”

“Rey—”

“I would have done the same thing,” she repeated, facing him but keeping a good distance. “Because even though I hate to say it, you did the right thing.”

He lifted his gaze to her, warm brown eyes watering. “ _Really_?”

Her heart ached at his disbelief. Did…did he think he done something wrong with turning her away?

“Yes,” Rey breathed, joining him at the table, her tea in hand. “Absolutely… I mean, what could you have done?”

A shaky exhale escaped him. “I know, I know,” he nodded once firmly. “I didn’t have much of an option, but to push you away. But _fuck_ ,” he wiped a hand down his face, eyes shining with unshed tears, “sometimes I thought I made the _worst_ mistake in my life because I pushed you away, pushed you away to the point you ran off. And it was _my_ fault.”

Her hand found his on the table. “You didn’t push me, I choose to leave. It was _my_ choice.”

Pressing his free hand against his mouth, Ben simply nodded. “I understand that,” he then gave a forced chuckle, “now at least. I understand that now. I mean, you’ve grown up. You are and you aren’t the same person anymore.”

“Is that a bad thing?” she winced.

“You’re never a bad thing,” he said, not quite answering the question. “It’s just different. But a good different,” he quickly assured her. “These last few months, just being around you again, they mean everything to me.”

Her face heated at his words, feeling her pulse quicken. “I…feel the same,” she admitted, hoping she didn’t sound too desperate, “I missed you. A lot.”

“Me too.”

“Sometimes I’d find myself reaching for the phone to call you, text you because all I could think was ‘Ben would understand. Ben always understands.’”

“I wish I was there.”

“I’m glad you weren’t,” she ignored the flash of shock and hurt on his face, “because I needed to be on my own. I needed to not….be around you?” The words were just not coming out right, she feeling Ben’s grip on her hand slacken.  “I mean, I needed to grow up, Ben.” She lifted her eyes to meet his, she suddenly hit with his longing and desperation, never realizing how troubled he’d become at the thought of her until that moment. “I needed to leave and grow up because I don’t think you’d ever let me do so if I stayed.”

Across from her, Ben swallowed, willing himself to keep looking at her.

Rey gripped his hand, waiting for him to return with the same fervor.

Apprehensively, he did.

“Am I wrong?” she asked, filling the silence.

“ _No_.”

“Okay.”

“….Because you’re right,” he gritted out, as though it physically pained him to agree with her on the matter. “I wouldn’t have let you grow up—I don’t even know how I would have treated you because I don’t love you in that way.”

“How do you love me?”

Ben did not speak nor look at her. Instead, he stood up and cleared his hot chocolate and cookies.

“Ben…” Rey sighed, standing up to follow him. He continued to ignore her, washing his used mug aggressively. “Ben, you seriously cannot say that and walk away—”

“I have thought about adoption,” he interjected before she could say anything more. “I have thought about adopting Margo. She’s my kid—”

“Don’t change the subject,” Rey shut off the facet, leaning over for Ben to look at her. “You said you couldn’t love in that way—”

“I say a lot of things—”

“And by that way you meant in a familial way,” she argued. “Then what way do you love me?”

“It’s late, Rey. You should go home,” Ben suggested tersely, walking away from her and head to the living room. Her belongings were in his hands, he ready to hand them off to her.

“No—I won’t,” she said, rushing to block his path. Seeing her jacket and purse, she grabbed them and tossed them back over the couch where she left them. “I won’t leave. You said I could stay on the couch because it was late—”

“And now I am saying the opposite.”

“Because you’re scared!”

Ben’s eyes snapped shut at her yelp. “I’m not—”

“Yes, you are. You are _scared_ , for some reason. And all because of a question,” she could not hide her incredulous. “If it means nothing—if I mean nothing, then you should be able to answer it!”

“Well, you don’t mean nothing, Rey! You’ve never meant nothing!”

“Then tell me what you mean—”

In a rush, he pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers.

And all other arguments, worries, and words ceased.

Because Ben was kissing her—desperately, eagerly, with every ounce of hope and fear. As though this were the only time he’d ever get the nerve to kiss her, to indulge in this moment with her.

As soon as it started, it ended. A sharp removal, on the verge of yank, Rey following along despite the separation.

She blinked widely up at him, Ben’s ragged breaths filling the silence.

Panic flooded his soft gaze, he on the verge of fleeing. “I—I shouldn’t have—"

Not giving him an opportunity to take any action, word, or movement back, she gripped the front of his shirt and brought him back down to meet her once more. Their mouths moved together, the sudden fear and potential awkwardness brewing in those fleeting second in between thrown out the window.

Gathering her into his arms, Rey found her own arms wondering around his shoulder for more leverage. To kiss him more fully, to feel him closer than before. Because this was Ben…Ben who always cared, who always wanted what was best for her, who loved her in a way he could not put together into proper words. She needed to be with him . To be with all of him, like she only imagined in faint daydreams.

Between breaths, she asked, “Um, _bedroom_?”

A muttered ‘ _yes’_ was felt against her lips, followed by Ben swiftly lifting her by the waist. Any potential yelp from her was swallowed, the two too consumed with the other to worry or think of anything else.

For once, Rey and Ben were on the same page, and neither were going to waste a single moment.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL.
> 
> That happened.
> 
> A lot happened. 
> 
> All I am going to say in regard of the ENTIRE chapter, actions and dialogue are important. Especially what is said of others. Not as much introspection in this one, but that is for REASONS.
> 
> But here is the real question--what will Rey and Ben be???
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	16. Secrets Too Important to Ruin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typos will be fixed later.

* * *

 

 

For years, Ben woke up at five in the morning.

For various reasons—

  1. He grew up with a mother who needed to leave for work early in the morning, so waking up early was the only option or he wouldn’t have a ride to school.
  2. He was the genius in college who always signed up for the 7AM classes.
  3. He simply liked the mornings because he could be alone with the stillness and quiet.



Mornings were safe havens, time to reflect. A time to make himself a cup of coffee and not think of the rest of the world and purely be himself. He liked his mornings, even when sleep was futile because the air was crisp and cool, a timeless sense of being surrounding him. Even when he’d been in relationships or been engaged, he’d be sure to not spend the night or vice versa.

Because he liked to keep his mornings for himself and free of any worry. And relationship brought for the lack of better words, a shit ton of worry.

However, this was the first time he woke up at five in the morning and rested awake with pure terror and odd sense of relief.

_Because he and Rey…_

Swallowing tightly, he turned over and watched her sleep. Arms and legs curled in like a ball, face smushed into the pillow. She faced him, less than a few inches away, the hand closest to him curled into and outstretched fist as though reaching out to him. Gently he rested his hand on top of her, rubbing soothing circles into her warm skin. A deep, heavy sigh came from her, Rey snuggling further into the bed, her bare skin brushing against his under the cool sheets.

Smoothed face, no worry lines or pursed lips.

Simple calmness.

Unaware and peaceful.

Oh, how he adored seeing her like this.

Part of him wanted to bolt out of the bed and leave—

Until he realized he was in his own apartment and he very well couldn’t do that, especially with Margo down the hall.

And another part of him—the part he indulged in the previous night—desired to hold her close and never let go.

When did he become such a sap? Then again, those were _his_ romance novels Margo possessed.

So Ben choose the neutral choice; he’d lay their next to her until she woke up because he had no clue what to do. And maybe Rey would have an idea because his all felt too much or too little.

The extreme would be to propose marriage right then and there.

The opposite would be to ghost her the moment she left the apartment.

Neither felt good in any way possible. Simultaneously every moment with her felt new yet familiar. Each touch, each lingering kiss, each gentle murmur. All new and exciting, with a comfort he never experienced.

He wonder if this is what love felt like because it was nothing like the novels he’d read or the movies he’d watch, or how his mother would describe it. There wasn’t a thrill or a chase.

There was simply a life with her and a life without her, both exceptionally different in odd ways. Because Ben realized he could live without her and not be terribly miserable. But he wouldn’t choose that option if he had a choice. No, he’d choose her.

And that was frightening, until it wasn’t. Because somewhere in the back of his mind, it made sense.

She being there, always listening and silently caring. Pushing him when he needed to be pushed, trusting him completely even when he felt his lowest. All the tangled mess of who they were did not determined what they were becoming, instead it merely enhanced their relationship in a way he never thought possible.

Rey and him made absolute sense.

And all Ben could do was lay in quiet acceptance.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing Rey noticed upon waking up was she was not in her bed, but she was in _a_ bed. She was supposed to be crashing on Ben’s couch for the night after coming back from Castilon, too late to drive after a evening full of monitoring a thirteen year old on a perpetual sugar rush.

And then the previous night came flooding back…

His hands _everywhere_ , his mouth _everywhere_ , he invading  her senses with each shared shudder and breath.

Briefly she wondered if she conjured the entire night. Her imagination far too active for her own good, yet the soreness setting in told her otherwise. The previous night was reality, far better than she could have longed for…but an unease set in her the longer she mused over the events.

She did not regret anything. But _Ben_ —

Ben was a coiling nervous ball of energy who oozed regret and guilty for the most unnecessary circumstances.

Knowing him, he’d find an excuse. Claim a misjudgment. Say it was a mistake.

Rey wasn’t too sure if her heart could handle any of those responses.

Realizing she’d have to face the matter sooner or later, she forced her eyes opened.

Only to find Ben staring back at her, fear and longing shining in his brown eyes.

“Hi,” he breathed, hand clutching hers like a lifeline. A good sign, hopefully.

“Hi,” she echoed, blinking away the drudges of sleep. “How are you?”

“Good,” he murmured, pressing his face deeper into his pillow, a bashfulness to his movements. His eyes refused to leave hers. “You?”

“Good.”

Biting his lips together, they quirked to the side. “Are we seriously attempting small talk after…”

“I suppose,” she said, a chuckle bubbling through her. Embarrassed, she ducked her head away. “We’re kind of awful at it.”

“No, shit.”

She screwed her eyes shut as another round of muffled giggles filled the room. She felt him shift closer to her, his cool nose dipping into the curve of her neck.

“I think we need to talk about what happened,” Ben’s words mumbled against her ear, a small shiver running up her spine.

“Or we can just…” she nudged her nose against his, her lips finding his, a seamless and natural reaction.

He pulled away reluctantly, staring down with wide awake eyes. “I’m serious, we need to talk about this. _Us_.”

Biting her lips together, she savored his proximity. Mentally preparing herself, she nodded once. “Okay…okay.”

“I want this to be something,” he confessed, holding her close to his chest. Her heart lifted ever-so-slightly at his words, the meaning setting in as her doubts subdued. “But we need to be _careful_.”

“With each other or this?”

“Both.”

Rey hummed quietly in agreement. “Then we should keep this between us,” she suggested, hoping he wouldn’t get the wrong impression.  “At least until we feel comfortable and secure in this—”

“Yeah, I’d—I’d like that,” he confessed, relief reflecting back in his eyes. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Just for the time being because this is important.” Admitting the gravity of their relationship and situation brought a calmness into her bones, realizing she was wasn’t the only one a maybe a little scared, a little excited, a little curious. Ben’s cacophony of emotions matched hers by tenfold if his eagerness to agree were anything to go by.

“I don’t want to ruin this,” he said quietly. He tenderly brushed away the flyway hairs from her face, fingers lingering and tracing her jaw. The caress caused her to lean into his touch, capturing his lips for a brief, chaste kiss.

“We won’t,” she promised, fully believing her words.

Softly blinking down at her, Ben’s eyes suddenly widened. “What time is it?”

“Um—seven, maybe seven-thirty— I think—”

“You need to get out of bed.” He shot away from her, rushing to find clothes.

Confused, Rey sat up, the timeless haze of the moment gone. “ _What_? Ben—”

“You were supposed to be sleeping on the couch,” he remined her, already wearing hastily thrown on pajama bottoms. A pair of jersey shorts were tossed to her, nearly landing on her head. “And instead you are naked in my bed.”

“I am aware,” she replied, a bit snappish.

“And I have a thirteen year old down the hall who should not know about this yet,” he concluded, shrugging on a t-shirt. Riffling around the clean clothes he had yet to put away, he handed her an old t-shirt. “So please, for the sake of both our sanities, get dressed and pretend to be asleep in the living room.”

“Right,” she breathed, his urgency and the thought of already getting caught, by a thirteen year old forcing her into action.

Putting on the clothes, she grabbed one of Ben’s throw blankets from falling off the edge of the bed. She swiftly wrapped it around her as Ben checked the hall for a curious little curly head. Once the coast was clear, Rey hurried down the hall to the living room. She landed on the couch, roughing it up a bit, giving the pretenses of sleep occurring on the usually perfectly placed throw pillows. Following a moment after, Ben headed to the kitchen and quickly got to work on coffee and breakfast.

By the time eight o’clock rolled around, a tired Margo shuffled out of her room and plopped herself on the couch beside Rey. None the wiser of what had occurred the previous night between Rey and Ben.

If the girl noticed the woman tense, she didn’t say anything, merely curling into a ball in the corner.

“I’m still tired,” she mumbled into the couch cushion.

Sitting up from her own curled up position, Rey squeezed Margo’s shoulder, and brushed away her moppy hair from her neck and face. “Why don’t you go back to sleep after breakfast? Maybe that will help?” she suggested, hoping she didn’t sound too nervous or insistent.

Margo hummed, already dozing back to sleep. Laying the extra thrown blanket on her, Rey eased up from the couch and went to the kitchen.

“She’s falling back asleep,” she announced, keeping her voice down. “Looks like yesterday took more out of her than anticipated.”

Standing by the stove with a sorry attempt of scrambled eggs, Ben huffed. “She can’t sleep in too late—she’ll be grumpy the rest of the day.”

Stepping over to him, Rey carefully pried the spatula from his hands. “Let me just take over this.”

“I know how to make eggs,” he insisted with a quiet rumble.

“Your pan says otherwise,” Rey motioned to the partially burned evidence, “Trust me I got this.”

“But isn’t it me who should be making you breakfast? Isn’t that the protocol for these things?” he teased, edging closer to her.

Peering up at him, Rey smirked knowingly. “I think we are well past the normal ‘protocol for these things.’ I know my way around this kitchen better than you and you live here.” Grabbing the pan, she dumped out the unsalvageable food. “Now go get me more eggs and I can make sure we can eat something edible.”

“Yes, Captain,” he called out, listening to her orders.

Cleaning off the pan, Rey could not help a silly grin.

Something about the moment felt right. As though she finally found where she was supposed to be.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Oddly enough, keeping their budding relationship a secret was a little _fun_.

More fun than either Rey or Ben expected. 

A fun in a, ‘we got something that is just ours and no one else’s’ kind of way. A special kind of secret they could play with and harvest together with no one else, young or old providing their unsolicited opinions on.

Their days were filled with fleeting, knowing glances. One’s that’d make Rey stomach flip-flop in silly somersaults and Ben’s chest constrict, the air knocked out of him each and every time.

Stolen moments late at night or early in the morning, where they’d have to be quiet. Where they’d simply feel the thud of the other’s heartbeat against their own, or the brush of breathe against skin. An exhilaration of want and receiving was padded by gentle and resilient longing, each kiss, touch, thrust, meaning more and more with each passing day.

Dates were nonexistent—life made it difficult for anything beyond the usual routine they already established, with just a few more hoops to jump through. But neither seemed too both by this, and if they were, it was never vocalized. They could be this— _together_ , spending all their free time together, spending time together with Margo, navigating a relationship that seemed to enter at a later stage contrary to it’s newness. Knowing each other for over a decade happened to alter the dynamic of a honeymoon stage, the two already well into domesticity from the start.

In response, they tried their best to acknowledge how fragile and important these first few months were to them, to each other.

Little thoughtful gifts found their way into their lives. Ben dropping off coffee and a healthy snack at her desk when she was busy. Rey packing him a decent lunch that was not take-out. A little bunch of daisies with a note tucked in her jacket before she left early in the morning. A personalized playlist sent to him in the middle of day when students were particularly awful. Sticky notes and text messages full of encouraging words and hinting at promises to be fulfilled later in day.

Despite this rather positive change in their relationship, Tuesdays and Thursdays remained the same.

“Seriously, how difficult is it to send a quick email back? I know he is just watching cooking tutorials on YouTube,” Rey griped over coffee. “Apparently Poe has a new fling—”

“Ew,” Ben muttered, knowing how over the top and excessive Poe could be with a new partner.

“—and apparently this guy is chef— _a fucking chef_ —and he wants to impress him. But he is using hours at work to do research when I need things signed,” she grumbled, taking a vicious bite of her muffin.

“Then force him to sign the forms,” Ben shrugged, “threaten him.”

She gave him a deadpan stare. “I’m not going to threaten my supervisor. He might be your friend, but he is the one who is on my case team.”

“Friend is a stretch.”

“He’s your friend,” Rey insisted. “Don’t be a jackass about it.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “Only a jackass to him because he is to me. What is that phrase—'treat others how you want to be treated’?”

She snorted into her mug, a wry grin on her lips. “I think you took that philosophy in the wrong direction.”

“Tomato, to _ma_ to.”

She shook her head, before becoming serious once more. “So have you thought about it?”

Both knew what _it_ was.

Ben sobered up, fiddling with a napkin. “I thought we only talked about work at these things.”

Her hands reached across the table, pinky finger nudging his. “Technically, it is work. _For me.”_

He sighed, looking out the window to the downtown mid-day bustle. “I do want to adopt her.”

“Then what is stopping you? I can get this figured out soon and then hopefully in a few months it will all go through. If you want to seriously adopt her, you need to start acting _now_.”

Avoiding her gaze, he chewed on his bottom lip. “I don’t want it to be _just_ my name on the document.”

Baffled by his response, she leaned forward and grasped his hand fully, wanting to be an anchor for him. “What do you mean—”

“I don’t want to adopt her by myself.” His warm eyes found her. “Because I haven’t done this by myself. You’ve been there the majority of the time—”

Her face crumpled briefly, catching the meaning of his words. “Ben—just because you adopt her by yourself, it doesn’t change things. We are still together, we are taking this _slow_ —”

“Really?” he countered. “Then you and I have two very definitions of ‘slow’.”

She scoffed, dropping his hand. “Well ‘slow’ for us.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned back into her seat, sitting taller. “I just don’t want her to get moved to another home without reason, or anything else when you care about her and you’re her home. This can go to shit fast if you don’t act soon.”

“It doesn’t feel right,” he admitted. “For it to _just_ be me, when you have been there every step of the way. We’re a _family_ —”

“If you are implying what I think you are implying, I am _not_ going to marry you, Ben.”

A thundering silence fell over them.

Rey stunned by her quick, panic induced response.

Across from her Ben gapped, eyes wide—hurt, fear, confusion, then remorse crashing in simultaneous waves in his dark gaze.  

In an instant, Rey realized she fucked up.

He snapped his mouth shut. “Okay then,” he said, voice empty. “I’m…going to go.”

Without another word, Ben stood up and left.

And Rey didn’t follow.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Margo—Dinner is ready!”

The girl rushed into the dinning room, skidding to a stop at her usual spot. She sat down, joining Ben, only to halt a second later.

Her eyes narrowed on the empty chair across from her.

Ben tensed, knowing the question was coming whether he liked it or not.

“Why are we staring dinner without Rey?”

Pursing his lips, Ben gave a listless shrug. He forced himself to mix his mashed potatoes with the gravy smothered stroganoff. “Because…because we just are.”

Her eyes narrowed on him, sitting up from her inherent slouch. “We never start without Rey.”

“Well, she’s not coming tonight,” he answered tersely. He fiddled with the fork in his hand, swallowing tightly. “Or ever, unless it is something to do with your case.”

“ _What_?” Margo hissed. She stood up from her chair, standing before Ben with wide, wild eyes. “What do you mean she’s not coming back?”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Margo— _kiddo_ —Rey and I…we decided it’s best to not see each other anymore. As friends or otherwise.”

He knew it was a lie, but how could he explain to a thirteen year old that the love of his life had zero desire to marry him. He and Rey had not spoken since their coffee break and when she didn’t show up at five-thirty in the afternoon like she always did, Ben put it upon himself to start dinner and eat with Margo. Just the two of them.

Apparently, the girl was having none of it.

“But you love each other!”

“Margo—”

“I’m not an idiot,” she spat, “I know she’s been spending the night here for months! Since June!”

Ben blanched, his eyes heating up soon after. Margo _knew_? She knew this entire time and never said anything? He was stunned the girl could keep her thoughts to herself for five months.

“Kiddo—”

“You guys are _so_ obvious. All the giggling and smiling and gifts and just—just the cheesiness of it all!” she exclaimed, glaring at Ben, no doubt believing it was his fault. “It doesn’t make any sense why you are breaking up! It isn’t fair!”

“ _How do you think I feel_?” Ben shot back, bristled over how his kid claimed it wasn’t fair to her. “I care about her Margo; I’ve always cared about her. If it was my choice this wouldn’t be happening. But you know what? What happens in life isn’t always our choice, sometimes it fucks you over.”

Before him, Margo blinked, staring at him. Her eyes watered and Ben feared she’d bolt—run away from him and everything in their life. Because all his relationships needed to get screwed over in one go.

Just as he was about to approach her, utter an apology for snapping, Margo charged at him. Her arms wrapped him in a warm, forced hug. Still sitting, Ben was able to hug her back with crouching, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry your heart is broken,” she muttered. “I really am.”

Closing his eyes, tears released from the pressure, Ben nodding against her.

“We can get ice cream to make you feel better,” she suggested, pulling away. “I know it won’t help a lot, but that’s what all the movies say to do, might as well give it a shot.”

Ben snorted, wiping his face with the back of his hand. “You know what? Ice cream does sound good.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Somewhere between six o’clock and seven, Rey found herself crying in a restroom stall at work.

No crying was adequate enough—full blown sobbing, snot running down her face and makeup smeared down her face was a better description.

She claimed she need to work on some paperwork, which was true. But by the time dinner time rolled around, she numbly walked to the rarely used fourth floor restrooms and cried.

Cried until she was hiccupping and unable to breathe because _what the fuck_ did she just do?

_She and Ben…_

Another unbearable sob broke through her, she thumping her head on the side of the stall.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she wept, wiping her face frantically with the back of her hands.

The clip of the restroom door opening silenced Rey’s wallows, she biting hard on the inside her cheek. She noticed a pair of heeled feet walk until stopping in front her stall.

“Yo, Rey—I feel like it is my due diligence to let you know no one uses the fourth floor restroom because it echoes and everyone on the floor can hear you,” Jessika Pava said on the other side of the stall door.

“Shit,” Rey hissed.

“Yeah…” Jessika dragged out. “I’m about as comforting as a cactus, but…the best I can off is sharing my bottle of wine I have stashed under my desk.”

“I’ll take that,” Rey hiccupped, her nose stuffy and ear plugged from her crying. “…thank you.”

“No problem, just get out of the restroom before someone thinks you’re dying or something,” she muttered, already turning to leave. Her heels stopped clattering as she reached the door. “Also, if this is about Solo—he’s dipshit, but he’s a dipshit with a heart of gold, unfortunately. Just…give it time.”

When the door closed, Rey released another pitiful sob.

Because Jessika was right—Ben was a dipshit with a heart of gold. And she fucking _crushed_ it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Who else have you dated?” Margo asked curiously, scooping another spoonful of her strawberry ice cream into her mouth. “Beshide Wey,” she said with her mouthful.

Ben chuckled, handing her a napkin from the cupholder. They were sitting in his car, eating ice cream and listening to Joni Mitchell on low. He wasn’t a Joni Mitchell fan but Margo said it set the mood and Richard Curtis would approve, so Ben listened. He lowered the volume slightly, catching the time—eight o’clock—and making note to make sure he was home by ten for Margo’s sake. She did have school the following morning.

“Um, a woman named Leslie,” he answered, poking his ice cream with his spoon, not quite eating it. “She was cool…had tattoos.”

“You have a thing for tattoos don’t you?” Margo nodded sagely, Ben quirking an eyebrow at her. “Because Rey has one too.”

“Rey just has a sunflower,” he clarified, “the stem has a couple of words, but I could never make it out. She always hid it away before I could read it.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t it work out with Leslie?”

Ben blinked, thinking.

Why didn’t it work out with Leslie? Well, she wasn’t a kid person. And Ben liked kids. She liked to live life on the edge—rode a motorcycle, liked to go hiking without a map, and preferred to go out in the late night, than for a cup of coffee in the morning.

She was fun—for about five minutes and then Ben found himself in a relationship he didn’t know how to end. Luckily after month eight she saw right through him and ended it, he having the easy job of accepting.

“She and I wanted different things,” Ben settled on, earning a look of disbelief but no arguments. “And then there was Jules.”

Margo’s nose wrinkled. “The one with the weird laugh?”

Ben snorted, recalling when they bumped into his ex a few months back. Awkward was just scratching the surface of the encounter. But Margo made it easy, Ben able to breeze by the interaction with little hurt. “Yeah, she kind of does have a weird laugh. But she and I also wanted different things.”

More so she belittled his job, also hated kids, and seemed to pressure for marriage within the first few weeks of dating. And Ben played along; he wasn’t getting any younger, and his mother wanted him to settle down with a nice girl, maybe finally have a family like he’d been wanting for some time. Maybe that would bring him happiness.

Of course that did not pan out, he apparently a heartless jerk and emotionally repressed.

He didn’t argue with her and let her walk away a few months before their wedding.

He didn’t regret not going after her, choosing to let that chapter of his life close since it brought more grief than joy.

“Anyone else?”

“A few women here and there,” he said, unable to think of any memorable faces. “A date or two, nothing more than that.”

“So Rey is the only one you really loved-loved?”

Being with Rey was easy, yet the most difficult endeavor in his life. She understood him too well, knew what every sigh and raised eyebrow meant without him ever opening his mouth. While she had a wild and fun side, yet she knew when and where to channel it. There was tenderness to all her interactions, her tough exterior a façade to all the softness hiding within her. While he didn’t need to try with her, he wanted to try—he wanted to be _better_ , he wanted to be _worthy_ , he wanted to be _loved_. By her.

It was a scary feeling.

And it felt worse to realize he may have gave a little _too_ much.

Too much of himself, because a part of him now felt hallow.

“Love,” he corrected quietly. “No past tense.” Margo frowned sadly at him. “But yeah.”

“Then maybe it will work out,” she said, hopeful. “Because I think she loves you too.”

“It’s a thought,” was all he said.

Digging into his ice cream, he effectively ended the conversation.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She wasn’t too sure where she was going, simply let he feet lead her somewhere. Anywhere. Most of the downtown lights were gleaming, the evening in full force at the eight o’clock hour.

Of course it led her to his doorstep.

With a weary heart, Rey knocked on the door.

“Ben!”

He didn’t answer. Knocking again and again until her knuckles numbed, Rey called for him again.

“I know you are in there!” she insisted, a croak to her words, throat sore from her crying. “ _Fuck_ —fine! If I have to talk to you through this door for you hear me then fine!” she heaved a sigh, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “I didn’t mean it the way it came out! It just—it just came out that way,” she whimpered, biting her lips together. “I meant, I didn’t want to marry you so you felt secure in adopting Margo and we could be this little family—fuck, we already are this little family. A paper saying we both are means nothing. We can figure that shit out later—what matters is we don’t lose each other. We don’t lose Margo—that is what matters, and I’m sorry I fucked it up and said I wouldn’t marry you—I didn’t mean it like that! Please, _please_ Ben. Please know I meant—I meant of course I’d marry you—I fucking love you, you dipshit and you aren’t answering the door,” she inhaled sharply. Another sob wheezed it’s way out her as she was met with more silence. “Why aren’t you answering the door?”

When nothing happened, Rey took a step back.

This was it.

This what pushed Ben over the edge, to finally shut her out.

And it was all her fault.

With a heavy heart, she walked away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The following morning, Ben listened to his messages as he made his pot of coffee. He still had a home phone and machine, he preferring to rely on old reliable landlines than have his cell phone blowing up throughout the day.

“Hey Ben, this is Poe,” he rolled his eyes, he knew the man for so long and he still announced his name on the recording. “Just want to let you know we will be switching caseworkers—” his mug nearly fumbled out of his hand, “—as per Rey’s request. She seems a little burned out these days. She say’s you’ll understand—whatever that means. Pava will be handling Margo’s case from this point on. You have her number, she should be give you a call soon…”

Poe’s voice faded into the background, Ben’s breath caught in his throat.

In a rush, he tossed the mug into the sink, it cracking and crumbling from the force.

Coffee forgotten, Ben left the kitchen. He needed to tell Margo about the switch.

And inevitably listen to his little girl cry.

Rey wasn’t just running away from him, now she was running away from his family.

And that hurt more.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhhh…..that happened.


	17. An Office Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but this has been sitting in my files for a week so might as well hand it over.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later.

* * *

 

 

 

_“What the fuck?”_

Looking up from her computer monitor, Rey recoiled at the sight of him.

Ben stood before, jaw set, eyes glaring down at her at the ‘entrance’ of her cubical.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, voice hoarse and low from her crying the previous night. She’d been unable to calm herself down after getting back home. A cool shower and a well worded email to Poe seemed to bring her back down from her emotional high, but Ben’s presence brought everything back full force. “I’m at work—”

“Answer my question: _what the fuck_?” Ben stressed, eyes bloodshot and face unshaved, stubble coming through. He was dressed in a worn-out sweater and jeans, clearly taking a day off from work by the looks of him. And the fact he was nearly yelling at her in her cubical at ten in the morning.

“You’d have to be more specific,” she shot back, pushing her glasses higher up her nose. “Because ‘what the fuck’? can mean several things.”

“Why’d you switch Margo?” he hissed, crouching lower to face her. “She loves you—”

“I thought it’d be easier all things considering,” she answered mechanically, avoiding his eyes. “Conflict of interest and all.”

“Fuck conflict of interest, we have been a conflict of interest since you showed up at my doorstep. Why now?”

“You know why,” she said gravely, turning away from him. “Leave me alone.”

Ben scoffed. “I’m pretty sure if anyone should be upset it’s me—but you know what, _fine_ ,” he huffed, running a hand through his hair. “Fine, Rey. You can be like this. Go right on ahead. But this the last time you pull this shit—”

“Stop talking to me like I am some child,” she spat, “I am an adult. I made a decision that seemed like the right choice for all of us involved.”

“You are fucking running away again,” he said without missing a bit, eyes watering. “You always ran away as a kid, and now you are running away as an adult because life isn’t going the way you want it—”

“Shut up,” she glanced around, knowing some of her co-workers were listening to them, “ _I am at work_.”

Ben ignored her comment, barreling right on through,“—well you can’t run away from me, or Margo. So you’re going to fix this—get her back on your caseload, see her on the weekends. I don’t fucking care—but you are not doing to her what you are doing to me, because she doesn’t deserve it.”

With those words, Ben marched back out of the office not sparing her a glance.

Sitting in her desk chair, Rey blinked at where he stood.

Something….something _didn’t_ make sense. She barely got an edge in word wise, but something about Ben’s furry didn’t make sense. Yes, most of it was projected towards her but…

So much internalized anger. Guilt.

“What…?” shaking her head, Rey stood up and gathered her belongings. Rushing past Jessika’s cubical, she shouted, “If anyone needs me have them call my cell, I’m working remote today—”

“Sure you are,” Jessika parroted back with a knowing tinge.

“ _I am_!” Rey called out as she beelined for the stairs.

Taking several steps at a time, she reached the ground floor and dashed out the building’s main entrance. Downtown was busy in the morning, cars going by and people walking about, heading to their own offices and business. Scoping the street, she spotted Ben’s broad shoulders, he heading towards the crosswalk to where his car was parked. Shouldering her purse higher, she followed him, keeping her pace slow enough where she wasn’t running but at least making ground.

When she was only a few feet away, she shouted for him. “Ben!” She stumbled, bumping into a few people before coming closer. “Ben!”

In the middle of the street, he spun around the two nearly colliding with one another. “What? _Rey_ —”

“Why didn’t you answer the door?” she blurted out.

“What?” Ben blinked down at her, puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

“Last night—I came last night and you ignored me—”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ben asked, pulling her away from the middle of the sidewalk. “You didn’t come to the apartment—”

“Yes I did,” she insisted, glaring up at him, “I came over last night and bared my soul—I told you I love you—”

His eyes widened before softening. “You love me?”

“Not the point,” Rey hissed, “you ignored me— _wait_ ,” she screwed her eyes shut. “You—you should _know_ this! I was practically screeching on the other side of the door.”

“That’s what I am trying to tell you,” Ben said, exasperated. “I wasn’t home last night—Margo and I left after dinner. We didn’t get back home until _after_ ten.”

Rey’s heart stuttered and the air felt trapped in her lungs. “ _What_?”

“You keep talking about how you stopped by last night—” Concern and panic shinnied in his eyes, the anger he projected to her fading fast, “—but as far as I know, you never stopped by—”

“But I did,” she groaned, dropping her head into her hands, “but you weren’t there!” Aggravated and embarrassed, Rey scrubbed her face. “Why do I have to be such a reckless bitch sometimes?”

“Whoa—”

Ben’s hands moved to lay on her shoulder, but Rey took a step back, still moaning over her own stupidity.

“You weren’t home last night, but I went there. And—”

“I need you to breathe,” Ben said, squeezing her shoulders. “You need to take a deep breath. Why don’t you come to the car and you can explain there.”

Both could feel the eyes of other pedestrians, uncomfortable with the stares.

Reluctantly, Rey nodded mutely, clasping a hand over his. “Okay, sure.”

Releasing his hand, she chewed on the inside of her cheek, pushing away the bubbling in her chest at the warm contact. Just because she was upset with him, it didn’t mean her emotions toward him changed—in fact, she felt them in tenfold, her awareness of Ben increased to an absurd degree.

Worst of all, he seemed unaffected by her.

Had he always reacted in such a way?

For a few more paces they walked side by side until they reached Ben’s car.  He unlocked the car, only to frown once he opened the door.

“What the hell?”

“What happen—”

“Where the hell is Margo?” he muttered, closing the passenger door in favor of the backseat. His eyes scanned the car quickly as the reality of the situation settled over him. “She was here minutes ago—”

“Why wasn’t she at school?”

Ben turned to Rey with a sharp frown, hands gripping the door. “Yes, I am going to send a _sobbing_ girl to school. I am not heartless.” He slammed the door closed, reaching for his cell phone in the process.

Her stomach sank at his words. She never wanted Margo to be hurt, hence the point of keeping her and Ben’s relationship under wraps. The girl wouldn’t be invested nor involved and a potential break-up wouldn’t break her heart.

However, that was clearly not the case with she _disappearing_ seemingly out of thin air.

He quickly called the girl—only to have it go to voicemail. He called again before finally checking the GPS on her phone.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he growled, ripping open the car door again. Digging through the back, he produced a slim cellphone—Margo’s cellphone. “That little—” He shook his head, screwing his eyes shut.

He inhaled deeply, then exhaled sharply. Rey subconsciously followed the same pattern as she attempted to evaluate the facts.

Margo was waiting in the car.

And now she _wasn’t_.

Her phone wasn’t on her, instead left behind. _Purposefully_.

And she left without a word.

Rey knew the tactics too well; she knew what happened the moment Ben recoiled.\

She knew because she had done the same exact thing numerous times.

“Ben, she ran aw—”

“Don’t say it,” he muttered, wiping a hand down his face. “I’ve dealt with enough runaways in my life. I know where to look, I know what to do,” he said plainly, climbing into the driver’s seat. Looking up from the wheel, he glared at her sternly. “What are you standing around for? Aren’t you going to get in and help me?”

Rolling her eyes at his snarky and petulant tone, Rey climbed in, attempting to calm down her panic.

She never had one of her cases runaway before. She never knew a pit of helplessness and determination could stir rapidly inside her.

“Call Poe—this isn’t like her to run off,” Ben ordered, handing over his cellphone. He pulled out of his parking spot, brows deepened and mouth in a firm line. “ And call Jessika too. Margo’s caseworker should know.”

 _Right_ —Rey wasn’t Margo’s caseworker anymore. An odd sense of relief hit her at the thought. Because she wasn’t there because she needed to be, but she _wanted_ to be.

“Okay,” Rey breathed, unlocking Ben’s phone. “I’ll call them.” She then rested her free hand on his bicep. “Ben—” he glanced at her, swallowing tightly. Panic reflected back at her, “—we’ll find her. Like you said, this isn’t like her. Margo couldn’t have gotten far.”

He sighed heavily, focusing on the road. Still anxious, still angry for many reasons, but calmer than he’d been moments ago. The air felt breathable once more as the tension eased carefully of his shoulders.

“I know, I know. I always find my kids…”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers :D


	18. Scavenger Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typos will be fixed later. 
> 
> If I haven't replied to your comment from the previous chapter yet, I will soon!
> 
> Enjoy.

* * *

 

 

Margo, like Ben, was a creature of habit.

She liked routine and became grumpy when plans were altered for the sake of spontaneity. For example, she nearly lost it when Ben and Rey decided to make lasagna on Tuesdays instead of their usual tacos. She still ate it, but she grumbled about the principle of the matter throughout the entire meal.

Needless to say, she wasn’t one to simply take off nor drift too far from her routine in her efforts to ‘runaway’.

“So she _was_ here?” Ben asked Ms. Erso, Margo’s English teacher. A favorite of the girl’s since she started middle school. “You are sure?”

“Yes…” Ms. Erso’s eyebrows furrowed, glancing between Rey and Ben. The teacher had a class in process, the eighth grades in their reading groups. “She came by to turn in her report. Said there was a family emergency but didn’t want it to be marked late, even told me you said it was okay, that you were waiting for her in the car,” she raised an eyebrow, concerned yet amused by their frustrated expressions, “Is everything alright?”

Groaning, Ben stepped away. Furiously he scrubbed his face, muttering intelligible words as he paced.

Turning back to the teacher, Rey forced a smile. “Um, we are actually looking for Margo. She’d been missing—”

“Don’t say _missing_ ,” Ben hissed from his trudging pace a few feet away. “She simply ran off—she thought this through and was deliberate—she fucking turned in her book report,” he deadpanned.

Rey crossed her arms, giving the English teacher and apologetic glance. “He is a little stressed out—”

“A little?” Ms. Erso checked her watch. “She was here thirty minutes ago. Dropped off the book report and then left. She didn’t seem to be in bad mood, relatively normal. If you give me your info I can call if I see her or hear anything.”

“That will be greatly appreciated,” Rey said as Ms. Erso passed over her phone. “Anything will help.”

“This doesn’t seem like her,” the teacher confessed, “I’m sure it is some misunderstanding and she couldn’t have gotten far,” she assured the two.

“That’s what we are hoping.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You are right,” Rey said as they walked back to his car. After asking a few more teachers—all informing them Margo dropped off her due school work—the two reached a dead end. None had seen the girl in over an hour, believing her to be with Ben. “This was deliberate. Not a reckless decision on the whim of emotions.”

“Not like you, you mean,” Ben shot back, unlocking the car.

Rey frowned at him from across the hood of the car. “I’m…an emotional person. I have always felt too much. I just ran to a place where I felt safe.”

Her flimsy defense was met with a smirk.

“I know.” He opened the driver’s side door, though didn’t enter. Instead he leaned against the opening, speaking to her from the safe distance. “If she’s being methodical, then we need to be methodical.”

“She’s not going to go where she feels safe. If she did that she would have been at the apartment, but she wasn’t.”

The apartment had been their first stop, searching through all the rooms, even asking Threepio to see the lobby security footage. Yet nothing. She never came by the building much to their dismay. Their next stop was Margo’s previous home, however no one at the group home had seen anyone of the girl’s description. By Ben’s suggestion they went to the school and his office, Margo a diligent student. It wouldn’t be too much of a surprise if she went to her classes as a way to get away from him and all the emotional chaos surrounding him and Rey.

Evidently a smart decision, but they’d just missed her by a mere half hour.

“But she would go to places she knows—she’s not an idiot,” Ben said, tapping his knuckles on the hood of his car. “I think I know where she might be.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Ah Margo,” the elderly man, Mr. Kenobi hummed. His bespectacled eyes focused on the two, though remained behind the glass case of cakes. “She came in earlier, bought a cupcake and ate it right there.” He pointed to the line of barstools. “Even got a soda-pop to go along with her lemon cake.”

“And you didn’t find it _odd_ a thirteen year old was out and about on her own?” Ben asked, bracing himself on the case’s counter.

Kenobi shrugged. “I’ve seen her come in all the time with you two on Fridays. Didn’t think anything of it. At my age, you’ve seen stranger things than a sad child buying a cupcake.”

Ben huffed, running a hand through his hair. A nervous tick he’d been doing every few minutes, along with a clenching jaw. Beside him Rey did not fare any better, chewing her nails to a nub and stomach churring in a nervous storm.

It was already past three in the afternoon—the later it got the more difficult it’d be to find Margo and the police would need to be involved.

And neither wanted that. Margo was being purposeful and deliberate for a reason, it was better they found her on her own and talk, rather than bring in law enforcement.

“I did chat with her though,” Kenobi offered after analyzing the two with quiet and sharp eyes. “I am not a heartless man to leave a sad child eating a cupcake without reason.”

Ben perked a bit at the development. “What did she say?”

“Ah—” Mr. Kenobi held a hand to stop him. “It comes at a price.”

“Are you serious?” Rey snapped. “We are looking for our missing kid and you knowing _something_ —I know for a fact you do and you won’t tell us?” She glared, nudging Ben away so she could meet the man’s stare levelly. “Are you shitting me?”

“It is at Margo’s request. And I gave her scout’s honor.”

Resting a hand on Rey’s shoulder, Ben decided to humor the man. “What is it?”

“To have a cupcake,” he answered, setting the red velvet cupcake in front of them “one for you two to share. On the house.”

Ben glared at the man. “You are going to tell us what you know with or without us ‘sharing’ a cupcake. I know what that little conniving girl is trying to do, and I am not here for it when I don’t know where the hell she is,” he argued, ignoring how his face heated at the thought of Margo attempting to set up a pseudo date for him and Rey.

Mr. Kenobi sighed. “She said you’d be stubborn, but it was worth a shot.” He grabbed the cupcake and began packaging it up. “Margo and I had a heart to heart. She mention how her parents were breaking up over a silly reasons. And while I am not one to judge relationships—lord knows I have had many awful ones— I also know when a child is hurting because of one.”

Ben felt Rey eyes on him, but he ignored her, favoring keeping his focus on the baker.

A weariness set into the old man’s eyes, shifting from Rey to Ben carefully. “I was once a father. My wife and I adopted a sweet child, bright eyes and an strong stubborn streak,” he smirked at Rey, “you remind me of her. Even got her hazel eyes. But my wife and I had our arguments, our own wants and desires for our lives becoming far different as time continued to pass. It put a strain on our relationship with our daughter—a daughter who no longer speaks with me and I have not seen in…” he sighed tiredly, “maybe three decades. You don’t want to lose your child to petty fights you might have with one another. She is the one who matters in the end.”

He pushed the packaged cupcake to them. “Margo’s at the train station.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I can’t believe you still took the cupcake,” Ben grumbled, turning on his blinker.

“I wasn’t going to just leave it when he told us where she was,” Rey argued, licking the cream cheese frosting. “I’m not rude.”

“I can argue otherwise.”

Silence lapsed between the two, the truth to his statement hitting too hard and Rey not bothering him with a response. A few moments passed before Ben turned into the train station parking lot. No trains were waiting to leave, the glow of the lampposts highlighting the vastness of the space.

“Where the fuck is she?” Ben muttered, squinting out to where the benches lined up.

Parking the car, the two hopped out of the car and marched to the ticket booth.

Without mercy, Ben knocked on the window, the person on the other side glaring.

“Have any trains left the station recently?”

The man frowned at Ben, pointing to the digital marque behind him, listing the train schedule. Ben’s eyebrows furrowed, attempting to reconcile the train numbers with their potential stops. Stepping forward, Rey forced a smile, attempting pleasant but more so coming off as demanding.

“Have you seen a girl thirteen, about five feet tall, dark hair with a backpack around here. We are looking for our daughter and she has kind of sent us on a wild goose chase,” Rey explained politely. “And we think since she is not here, she might have gotten on a train.”

The attendant raised an eyebrow. “How do you lose a thirteen year old?”

“Just answer the damn question,” Ben ordered, standing to his full height. “Have you seen her?”

“Sure, I guess,” his disinterest caused Rey and Ben to tense with annoyance, waiting for him to just tell them what he knew, if he’d seen Margo. “ A kid bought a ticket for the 703 train—it’s stops are Lakewood, Echo Park, Castilon—”

“Castilon?” Ben interjected. “Are you sure about that one?”

“ _Yes_.”

“She’s going to the roller-rink,” Rey said, it finally clicking in place why Margo went to the train station. “She’s going to a place she knows, we know, and where she was happy.”

“Yeah, _happy_ ,” Ben said, his eyes and voice distant. Turning back to the attendant, he asked, “When did it leave?”

“About fifteen minutes ago.”

“Are you shitting me?” Ben mumbled—of course they missed Margo by mere minutes, as if seemed to be the entire day. He sent a grateful nod to the man. “Alright, thank you.”

Without another glance to the station, Ben made his way back to the car, Rey hot on his tail. “Castilon is almost a two hour drive at this time,” Rey reminded him. “She might not even be there when we get there.”

“There is no where else for her to go, Rey,” Ben said, rubbing his eyes. “No where else. She’s never been to any of the other towns listed and she knows the route from the train station to the roller-rink, we’ve walked it with her plenty of times.”

“I just…” Rey found herself stuck admitting how she felt, even though she knew it was not what Ben wanted to hear, “I just can’t help but worry. What of we get there and she’s not there and then we will not have any idea of where she ran off.”

Sensing her fear, Ben stepped closer to her, hands hesitating on where to rest, whether or not to pull her into his embrace or simple keep the poorly managed distance they’d set between them. Less than a couple of days ago hesitation wasn’t an inkling or reaction, he’d give into his instincts. Hold her, comfort her. But words were left unsaid, a misunderstanding was left unexplained, and their kid was nowhere to be found. There wasn’t a balm to ease either of them except the presence of each other.

He settled for placing his hands on her shoulders, thumbs rubbing soothing circles. “We _will_ find her. Isn’t that what you said earlier? We will and then this—this hopelessness and worry that you are feeling— will go away because she will be there and everything will be okay again.” His voice carried a heavy breath, attempting to convince himself of his words, rather than her.

But it apparently did the trick.

“Okay,” Rey swallowed, nodding once, “Okay—we just need to get there and once we find her everything will be okay.”

Neither believed it when she echoed the words back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

For the first half hour, Rey and Ben remained silent, except for brief arguments and discussions over directions. She’d fiddle with the phone’s GPS, trying to find faster routes or backroads to get them to Castilon faster. Yet each time, Rey found they were already on the fastest route, road, and highway, no other options but sit in the car with each other for the entire two hours.

At some point Ben turned on the radio. He surfed through the channels before landing on an eighties station, some Madonna and then Queen played. Ben hummed along distractedly until “Missing You” by John Waite came through the speakers—

_Everytime I think of you I always catch my breath And I'm still standing here, and you're miles away And I'm wondering why you left And there's a storm that's raging Through my frozen heart tonight_

He shut off the radio.

Rey raised her eyebrows, mouth in a firm line. “Thanks,” she muttered, the meaning not lost on her. Curling further away into the passenger seat, she kept her gaze securely on the movie cars outside the window. Anywhere but him.

“You…you said you came over last night,” Ben began.

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t home.”

“I’m aware of that now.”

His fingers tapped a nonsensical tune on the steering wheel. Biting his lips together, he glanced at her.

She looked away, scratching behind her ear.

Well then.

“Well, what did you say? What did you want to talk about—clearly it was important.”

“I…” Rey’s lips twisted shut, she leaning heavily against the door. A little helplessly, she shrugged. “It feels stupid to repeat it because…well because I said a lot of things in the heat of the moment—”

“Like loving me?” Ben asked, knowing he cornered her.

For a brief moment, he believed she wasn’t going to say anything. Wasn’t going to reply; ignore the impending question.

Instead—

“No, I meant that,” she rolled her eyes, “Well, I mean that. I _do_ , you know.”

“Oh,” Ben breathed, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “That’s…nice.”

Rey’s gaze snapped to him, mouth working for words, but falling short. Something hopefully pleasant, or understanding. “Oh, fuck you.”

Or that too.

“All you have to say is ‘that’s nice’—I just fucking said ‘I love you’—I have _always_ loved you, and I can’t fucking stop loving you,” she said lowly, Ben able to hear the impeding crack in her voice, “and all you have to say is ‘ _that’s nice’_?”

“Well, what else do you want me to say?” Ben blundered out. “I’m driving and I didn’t think you’d say _it_!”

“What did you expect me say?” she shot back, sitting up and facing him as best she could with a seatbelt on the verge of choking her. “Nothing?”

“Yeah!”

“You’re a dipshit!”

“Well you’re sometimes a dumb bitch—who the fuck doesn’t check if someone isn’t home?”

“I was highly emotional!”

Ben scoffed. “That’s you seventy-five percent of the time.”

“That’s you a _hundred_ percent of the time,” she parroted back, fiercer. “I wanted to apologize and fix things because _yes_ , I know I said the wrong thing—”

“No,” Ben elongated, shaking his head dramatically. “You said the right thing! You finally said what you have been thinking—you don’t want to marry me, you don’t see thins going anywhere, this is a dead-end—”

Rey gapped at him, hands clutching her seatbelt for dear life. “I said _none_ of those things! That’s you telling yourself that—because that’s what you always do! You tell yourself the bad and the negative things that can happen rather than the good! What we have is _good_ , and why can’t you fucking see that?”

“Maybe because I want more,” Ben confessed, feeling out of breath, “I want more and I know you’d _never_ want it.”

“You don’t know that—”

“Yes, I do,” he insisted, his voice raspy from held back tears. “You…you want adventures. You want to focus on your career. You want someone to go on these experiences with you. And you deserve to do all that. But me,” a self-deprecating chuckle bubbled out of him. “Is it so wrong to say I want to settle down,” he rolled his eyes at the term, “I want to get married, I want kids—I’ve always wanted those things, and no one ever seemed to think I did and it’s because I only wanted them with one person, and it just took me so fucking long to realize that person was you. You are my person I want everything with, but you don’t want that, and I have to accept that.”

The GPS pinged.

Rey glanced down at the screen. “We missed a turn.”

“ _Fuck_.”

“It’s rerouting.”

“Okay,” he huffed. After a moment the GPS listed a new set of directions, the automated voice announcing the reroute.

“You never asked me if I wanted those things—you just assumed I didn’t,” Rey said, glancing up at Ben.

His face pinched, confused. “But you said—”

“Yeah, I know what I said. It’s been playing in mind on loop since it happened,” she interrupted, tired of Ben speaking. He was only digging himself into an unnecessary hole, and Rey needed to pull him out of it before he completely disregarded her opinion all together. “I meant…I didn’t want to get married so adopting Margo could be easier. I want to get married because it feels like it’s the right time for _us_ , no one else but _us_. It just came out the wrong way and I fucked up. Which led to more fuck ups—”

“No you didn’t fuck up— _I_ fucked up,” Ben argued, understanding washing over his face.

“Can we just both agree we were wrong, both of us, and never intended for any of this to happen—I mean the argument and misunderstanding?”

Ben exhaled deeply. “Yeah…yeah.” He swallowed, glancing at her. “And for the record—I do love you.”

She smiled tiredly, the pain from earlier easing away as her eyes met his. “I know.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The rink was rather empty except for a few people here and there, the sound of  Ah-Ha’s “Take On Me” flooding into the room. Upon closer inspection, Rey and Ben spotted Margo skating at her lonesome, a figure in a kaleidoscope of colors. Her curls bounced as she propelled herself forwards with each stride, proficient at skating in the rink after a few more visits throughout the summer.

It took everything in Ben to not charge towards the girl and rip her from the rink and into his arms and never letting her out of his sight again.

Calls were already made, those involved aware Margo was found and safe. Ben letting both Poe and Jessika know ‘yes’, he wanted the girl to stay with him despite her little stunt, even mentioned how he wanted to start the process of adoption.

Rey stood by his side for the entire call, a silent support.

Coming up to the rink, neither Rey or Ben joined Margo, deciding to wait until she noticed them. They’d let her have a few more moments of fun, of joy before Ben threw down the gauntlet and grounded her for a month.

But her sentencing wasn’t going to happen that night, nor the next day.

They had some things to figure out—together, like a family.

 

 


	19. Running Towards Not Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Typos will be fixed later.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

 

 

 

“But I was doing the right thing!”

“Yes, because doing the right thing involves running away!”

Margo huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Burrowing deeper into the couch, Margo refused to look at Ben and Rey. The couple glanced at each other, knowing this was going to be more difficult than either anticipated.

A few days had passed from her little _excursion_ , the three having much needed discussions over the weekend. Painful and long discussions involving future plans, as well as wants and desires as individuals and a family.

And while Ben ignored the elephant in the room—Margo _deliberately_ running away—as Sunday night came to a close, he knew he needed to dole out some more ground rules and punishment. Margo could not go off thinking she needed to pull some stunt to get their attention; Rey and Ben did not operate by those standards, communicating healthily with the girl since she walked through the front door.

“No afterschool clubs and no hanging out with friends for two weeks,” Ben said, putting his foot down. Margo didn’t seem too bothered by this, as though expecting the grounding. “And no internet for a month unless it is school related.”

Margo groaned, dropping her head into the cushion beside her. “But I was helping!”

“By making us worry?” Rey asked, scooting closer to the girl. “Because while I understand—and Ben does too—that you believe what you were doing was right, it was terrifying for us. We had no idea where you were or who you were with. This could have gone south exceedingly fast.”

Margo’s stern bravado faded as the reality of Rey’s words set in—she was a young girl running off on her own, without a cellphone on her and roaming around downtown and another city she barely knew. Anyone could have snatched her, harmed her, and no one would be the wiser if she wasn’t found. A tiny, “ _oh_ ,” came from the girl, her eyes apologetic. “I didn’t think of that.”

“Yeah…” Ben muttered, standing tall before her. “We didn’t want anything bad happening to you, kiddo.”

Her eyes watered, bright brown eyes shining with a relief Ben had never witnessed from the girl. With a burst of energy, she leaped off the couch and wrapped her arms around his middle. Ben’s arms hovered over Margo, at a loss over her burst of affection. She was never an overly touchy-feely girl, neither was Ben. But something about having her hug him, after all the worry and pain of the few days previous…Ben found himself hugging the girl back fiercely, blinking away a few tears of his own.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I didn’t think you’d show,” Ben said as Rey pulled up the chair across from him. Their two drinks were set before him, he carefully nudging the Dark Chocolate mocha in her direction.

“It’s Tuesday and my lunch break, why wouldn’t I be here?” she countered, shucking off her coat and tucking it on the back of her chair.

“Because…I honestly don’t know.” Ben scratched the back of his neck, feeling a bit foolish for thinking otherwise.

Rey watched him dubiously, picking up the coffee. “We talked about this…”

“We talked in the car and we talked about Margo, and her future with us,” Ben clarified, “We talked about the ‘us’ in the future. But…nothing about _this_ —the ‘us’ now.”

Under the table she nudged his foot with the tip of her boot.

He didn’t budge a smile.

Rey sighed, leaning back. “Well, I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Ben said back confidently. There wasn’t a hesitance or sliver of regret for either of them, the statements mere truth, a genuine glint behind their gazes and words. “But we broke up.”

“For less than a day,” she reminded him with an eyeroll. “I don’t think it necessarily counts since it really was just an argument.”

An argument with a couple of words and a variety of assumptions involved with both sides of the party. So yes, an _argument_.

Ben inhaled deeply, matching her gaze. His hand captured hers, encapsulating her hand within his. A silent protector, as he’d always been. A warm thumb brushed her knuckles, following the familiar groves in a subconscious pattern. He knew her inside and out, but sometimes she still felt she never gave enough. Some part of her was holding back despite her best efforts. “I want to marry you. I want us to have a family together, and Margo be part of that family.”

Rey swallowed, gripping his hand back. “I know…I want that too.”

“But?” Ben implored.

“But…I think we need to try to actually date each other,” she confessed quietly, “Not fall into this secretive domestic relationship we found ourselves in—I think we need to try to go out without Margo and do the…”

“The _fun_ part of dating?” he finished, understanding reflecting in his eyes. “Don’t get me wrong the secrecy was a little fun in the beginning,” Rey nodded along with a teasing smile, “But I _do_ think we kind of rushed into being in a relationship.”

“I want you to meet my friends, I want us to go on stupid dates, I want to meet your parents—”

“You’ve met my parents,” Ben said with a chuckle, finding her growing enthusiasm infectious.

“You _know_ what I mean,” Rey hissed, though her budding smile contradicted her. “Meet them as your girlfriend. I want to be your girlfriend before I become your wife. Can I have that?” she asked, a bit bashful. “Can I have a little of the romance—I’ve never really had it before, and I only want to experience it with you.”

Ben realized as her bright hazel eyes begged for empathy—for him to understand what she meant desperately—he never wooed her.

He _never_ romanced her.

There was never a _chase_.

There was just a fumble of misunderstanding, rushed and ill-timed ‘I love you’s, and a flourish of affection that rolled up into their sorry execution of a romantic relationship.

 _Rey deserved more_.

Ben always believed she did, but to hear her say it in so many words…it was a wake-up call.

He’d always have her love, but he would miss the moment to relish in the newness of this new stage of their relationship if he didn’t try. If he didn’t embrace what and where they were, instead of looking at where they were going.

He need to stop looking at the past and the future, but live with who she was in the present. Because he was in love with that woman and wanted to keep her by his side for as long as she’d have him.

“Of course you can have that—I want you to have those moment.”

“I want _us_ to have those moments,” Rey corrected softly, “ _We_ deserve it.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“And I told your father he needed to just replace the damn tire, but did he listen?” Leia groaned, a thump heard from her end of the line. No doubt lightly banging her forehead on some surface, a habit she formed whenever her husband was being particularly intolerable. Ben more often than not exhibiting the same habit when Rey was driving him up the wall, he far too much his mother’s son in some cases.

“Sounds like Dad,” Ben hummed, busying himself with the coffee pot. “But did you guys finally get out of Canada?”

“Yes,” Leia declared happily, “We are now in a lovely RV park just North of California. Near the Oregon border.”

“Good, good,” Ben muttered, carefully measuring the coffee grounds with his measuring spoons. At the kitchen table, Margo rolled her eyes at him. She thought it was silly he used exact measurements for his coffee, telling him it was pointless and all tasted the same.

Yet Ben swore he caught the girl using the same measuring when he asked her to get a pot going.

“But anyways, what did you call me about? Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, making some Halloween plans? Isn’t that tomorrow? Are you taking Margo trick-or-treating?”

Ben sighed quietly, not wanting his mother to hear. He wasn’t a fan of Halloween, never had been. Mostly due to the fact he never went trick-or-treating as a kid, his parents too busy when he was younger to go on outings with him.

The plan—as it had been every year for the majority of his adult life—was to set a bowl outside his door and watch Halloween movies, whether that be horror or something family friendly. _The Great Pumpkin_ was always his last viewing before he hit the hay for the night, the rest of the ‘holiday’ unremarkable.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he dressed up for Halloween.

However…Rey and Margo were on a mission to change his mind about the holiday by forcing him to go trick-or-treating with them, in costume.

He was a reluctant but agreed to be the gardener to Rey’s sunflower costume—a simple sunflower dress with a sunflower hat. Cheesy, but it was the only couples costume she liked and Ben couldn’t say ‘no’ when she beamed at him with unbridled joy.

And Margo’s costume…Ben wasn’t too sure what it said about him or her sense of humor, but they thought it’d be fun to have her dress up at the little salt girl from _Morton Salt_ because Margo had a tendency to be ‘salty.’

Margo adored the idea, Rey…she smiled and nodded along not quite getting it, but she was happy if the kid was happy.

“Uh, yeah the girls and I are going trick-or treating,” Ben answered, “which will be fun, if I don’t end up coming down with the flu of something—”

“ _YOU WILL BE FINE!”_

Ben winced, sending a glare to the girl. She shrugged, turning back to her breakfast.

Leia chuckled at Margo’s shout. “Good. The kid can see through your bad lies; you need that.”

“I was calling,” Ben stressed, ignoring both his kid and his mother’s comments, “because I wanted to know your Thanksgiving plans.”

“Oh,” his mother hummed, surprised, “nothing set in stone yet. Why?”

“I thought it’d be nice if you came and met the girls.”

“You’re fostering more than one kid?”

“Uh, no,” Ben coughed, glancing back at Margo. She was clearing her plate from the table, a rush in her step to go off and get ready for school. “I am actually seeing someone. I, uh, have a girlfriend.”

“ _Oh_.”

And then—

“HAN! COME HERE! BEN HAS A _GIRLFRIEND_! HAN—GET OFF THE ROOF. _MY GOD_!”

Ben pulled the phone away from his ear, more shouting heard from both his mother and father. Arguments and bickering never seemed to end with them, their little never ending road trip awful and god-send all wrapped in one.

“A girlfriend?” Han huffed. “I thought your last one— _what’s her face_ —dumped you?”

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. His father never bothered to learn anyone’s name unless they meant something, and clearly none of Ben’s ex’s meant anything to his father. Not that he should be surprised. “That was a while ago—I am seeing someone different and I really think you two will like her.”

“ _Really_ ,” Han remarked dryly. A grumble and hush from Leia was heard, the two undoubtedly huddled over the phone with each other. “You know what—I’m tired of this. There is no one—”

“ _Han_.”

“No one who is gonna make you happy, Son,” Han insisted, exasperated. “Not like—”

“Han! I swear—”

“I think he should know and at least try—”

“ _Han Solo_ —If you tell—”

“You should try to get in contact with _Rey_!” Han declared, earning a cursing from Leia. “As far as we know, she is now a fully grown woman, with a job and career, and she is only person I can think of you tolerating longer than a couple of hours.” Ben blinked tiredly at the brash words, his father terrible with communication, a gene Ben unfortunately inherited. “I’m just saying it is worth a shot to reach out to the girl—at the very least become her friend again. You two…you two were important to each other.”

A scuffle and mumbles were heard from them, Leia shooing Han away. “Son, I’m sorry—You know your father.”

Ben cleared his throat, deciding it best to start talking about his relationship. They deserved to tell people and be excited, Ben feeling a little giddiness as the words fell from his lips. “Well, I guess the good news is the person I am seeing _is_ Rey.”

Silence followed until—

“Son!”

“Are you _shitting_ me?”

“And you want us just to come for _Thanksgiving_ —we’ll get there as soon as possible!”

“No, no, no—that’s not—”

His parents hung up.

Biting his lips together, Ben thumped his head against the cabinet. He wouldn’t put it past his parents to be packing up their camp site and hightailing it his apartment. Arguably, they loved Rey more than they loved him. Sure, they fucked up a couple of times concerning her—Han in a major court case on the other side of the country the main cause of said fuck-up—but they still loved her. To pieces. And always wanted the best for her…

It was a little reassuring for his parents to think he and Rey were the best for each other.

He smiled to himself at the thought.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask since it was so haste,” Poe Dameron announced stepping into her cubicle, “Are you sure you are okay with Margo being moved to a different caseworker? I know you two got close—you’re like Solo in that way,” he joked, though there was a tension in his shoulders, awaiting the worst.

Looking up from a file—she had to attend court later in the afternoon—she sent her supervisor a reassuring smile. Pushing up her glasses, she nodded once. “Yes, I think it is best she sticks with Jessika. Especially since the paperwork the adoption has started to go through.”

Poe’s eyes narrowed. “That’s confidential information. You shouldn’t still be going through her forms and files if she is with Jessika now. And I am just asking because…well because I don’t want it to be that you are coving tracks for something else Margo may have done—”

“No, no, no,” Rey insisted, “Margo is a wonderful child, and is fine. The runaway incident was a one time thing. Not going to happen again.”

“Then why the switch?” he asked, genuinely curious. “I am trying to make this place better, and I want to understand why certain caseloads work and don’t work with some of my caseworkers.”

Rey sighed, understanding Poe’s concern was coming from a good place. He was dedicated to making the system better, not only for children but his overworked caseworkers. The only way to properly fix a machine is to understand why all the parts function as they do, understand what makes them tick.

“Um…it’s actually a little personal,” Rey confessed, lowering her voice. “You see, Ben and I are…” she waved her hands around, hoping Poe would catch her meaning.

He blinked dumbly at her.

“Got into a fight?” he guessed.

Rey rolled her eyes. “No! He and I are, ya know…” she waved her hands again. She received the same reaction. “Ugh—Ben and I are seeing each other and we agreed I shouldn’t be Margo’s caseworker if that is the case.”

His eyes widen, a pleased smirk forming half a second later. “Huh. You and Solo? Makes sense…in a very weird but comprehensive way.”

Rey frowned at the comment, but didn’t have the energy to ask more of it. “Well, yeah. And I can’t very well be Margo’s casework if I…” She shrugged, not wanting to say it to possibly jinx herself.

“Become her mother,” Poe supplied knowingly. “It’s smart and mature of you to do that.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m happy for you guys.” Poe sighed, leaning an arm against her cubical wall. “Wow, _you_ and _Solo_. I honestly didn’t think he had it in him.”

“Alright, this conversation is now over,” Rey announced turning back her work.

“Come on, humor me. I’ve known the guy forever—I’ve known you since you were kid! I mean, I did think at one point, when you came back that _maybe_ ,” he shrugged, “didn’t think it actually would.”

“Stranger things have happened,” Rey reminded him, pointedly turning back to her work.

“But you and Ben—”

“ _Poe_ ,” Rey hissed, “I am saying this as the girlfriend of your friend, not your employee—please keep your questions and comments to yourself, _thanks_.”

“Right—right,” he nodded, taking a step back. “But I need to know—did you always like him or—”

Rey turned to him, ready to throw him out the window with his probing. “Poe!”

He held his hands in defense, scuttling away. “Going, going!”

After he was gone, Jessika peeked over their shared wall. “Hey—just so you know I am happy for you, even if stupid over there is nosey about it. If it makes you feel any better, he’s nosey about everyone.” The older woman then _smiled_ —a genuine smile, Rey had never witness from her colleague. “I am happy you and Solo figured things out. With all the shit you’ve gone through in your life, you deserve someone who truly loves you, all of you.”

Rey faltered, stunned by her sincere words. “That’s…oddly kind of you, Jess. Thank you.”

Her smile fell away, her tough exterior back on with ease. “Yeah, it’s a one time thing. _Don’t_ expect it to happen again.”

“Right, got it,” Rey said, grinning back the woman. “This conversation never happened.”

Jessika smirked, dropping back down behind the wall. “ _Exactly_.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I look stupid.”

“You look _great_ ,” Rey insisted, grabbing her and Margo’s coats. Unfortunately the weather took a turn for the worst, more wind and rain than anyone expected on Halloween. Yet that did not stop Margo, Rey, and Ben from going trick-or-treating much to the latter’s displeasure.

“I…” Ben frowned at his reflection. Standing before the entry-way mirror, the warm light made his appearance more lighthearted and pleasant than he felt at the idea of going out. Though he had to hand it to Rey and Margo, they did not do a bad job finding all the pieces to his costume. He was wearing dark green overalls and outdoor boots, his beige shirt rolled up at the sleeves. He felt silly, too tall for such a costume, yet Rey and Margo beamed happily at him. “I…guess I look _okay_.”

“You look awesome!” Margo cheered, hugging his hat closer to her. She insisted on holding so he wouldn’t ‘accidentally’ forget it. Ben liked not covering his hair, his one vanity, and had argued up and down against the hat. However, Margo did not budge, claiming it ‘completed’ the look. “None of my other friend’s parents dress up for Halloween, so you are already winning in my book!”

Well, if that was the case… “Then they’re losers and were the coolest parents out there.”

Huffing at his lame joke, Margo grabbed her bucket and umbrella, and started to make her way out the door.

Rey was a half-step behind her, poufy sunflower dress bouncing around her knees, when Ben pulled her back.

“Hey, what—”

He planted a firm kiss on her lips. Momentarily stunned, her hands began to reach, wanting to bring him closer…only for the embrace to end nearly as soon as it started.

“What was that for?” Rey asked, looking up at him with surprise, breathless. Not displeased, merely confused—random bursts of affection were unlike him.

He hesitated, before a boyish grin emerged. “Just because I can…and I want to,” he confessed, a bit bashful as he finished. Panic flashed in his eyes. “I—I thought since you want to be romanced—if it was too weird—”

A sweet kiss on the cheek silenced him. “I _love_ it,” Rey reached for his hand, squeezing lightly. “I just didn’t expect it because we’ve always kept everything tight lip, behind closed doors,” she peered up at him, a mischievous glint in her hazel eyes. “But I wouldn’t mind more of this ‘Spontaneous Ben’.”

He smirked. “Oh, really? Well I think—”

“Please stop flirting—I have candy to get!” Margo called out by the front door, effectively breaking the moment.

Blushing like two caught teenagers, the two rushed to catch up with the girl. No need for Margo to tease them than she already did.

Once the door was locked and bowl of candy on the chair out front was set, the three went on their way out the building. Hopping and skipping with the energy of a toddler rather than a thirteen year old, Margo led the way down the street. Diligently, Rey and Ben followed her, hand-in-hand, only a few steps behind.

Rey’s _left_ hand in his right. The left hand connected to the curious left arm with her secretive tattoo. One she hid and held close to her chest, one she always hid behind long sleeves shirts and blouses she seemed to favor. The same left arm she broke years ago…

Sensing his opportunity, Ben lifted their intertwined hands up and twisted Rey’s left forearm to his face.

Rey hissed, swatting at him. “What the hell—

Ben recoiled after reading the scrawl of her meticulously hidden tattoo. “What does that even mean?”

“Just because I am a flower, doesn’t mean you need to pull me,” she teased, though the crease of her brow told him she was annoyed by their rather uncomfortable position.

He dropped her arm, it flopping back at her side pathetically. “Your tattoo—what does ‘I’m on your side even,’ mean?”

She blinked watching him carefully, mouth pinched closed. Neither said anything, Rey’s expression softening as the reality of his puzzlement settled. “You _really_ don’t know?”

“Know what?”

She exhaled shakily, eyes watering slightly. “That’s—that’s what you told me the first day I met you.” Wiping under her eyes with the pads of her fingers, Rey chuckled a little at the sight of her tears. “I’m not crying because I am upset,” she was quick to defend, “I just…always get a little emotional thinking about that day.”

“Why?” Ben breathed, the rest of the world holding still as Rey compose herself. He was faintly aware of Margo waiting for them a couple of feet away, but she remained still, as though aware _something_ was happening, though not sure what.

“Because,” she sighed, a watery giggled finding a way out. Her eyes met his. “Because everything changed that day.”

 

 

_"I am not some five year old you can taunt with sweets because you feel sorry for me," she interrupted, snappishly. Head held high, she sat taller, attempting to match his height. She failed spectacularly, though that did not deter her. "I know all the tricks and tools you guys do. You're not my first case worker--"_

_"But I plan to be your last," Ben told her in earnest._

_Her next words died in her throat, the girl faltering at the revelation of his words._

_"Oh," she uttered, dropping her gaze back to her lap._

_"So I think it's best we try to get along," he suggested quietly as a few people passed by in the hall. The offices were uncomfortably busy at this time of day, Ben sinking into himself subconsciously. Looking back down at the girl, he tried his best to be optimistic. "I'm on your side," he reminded her, patting her shoulder lightly._

 

 

Ben felt the air knocked out of him.

“This grumpy guy told me he was on my side and…” she blinked, smiling up at him, “and no one had ever been on my side until that day. And the world was suddenly less lonely.”

“So…you got a tattoo of that?” Ben asked, raising his eyebrows. He was both flattered and befuddled by the idea. While he'd been aware they left a permanent impression on one another, it never occurred to him she'd remember the day. She'd been a kid and it was a stressful twenty-four hours for her.   

Rey groaned, turning away from him. “Yeah, I did,” she stressed, a shrug to her shoulders as she crossed her arms. “Because I missed you and was lonely and I got it while drunk—”

“Oh, that is so much _more_ assuring.”

“And it’s just for me. No one else. Not you or whatever—for _me_ to remind myself there is—or was-- someone by my side. That I am not alone in all this.”

Ben’s joking grin sobered, he serious and earnest once more. Carefully, his hand trailed the length of her arm, feeling the twisted skin of her scar. The pad of his fingers reached her tattoo, then to her palm, committing the trail to memory. He grasped her hand once more.

“You’re not alone.”

“Neither are you.”

She held his hand fiercely, no intention of letting go any time soon. 

He swung their clasped handed between them, his eyes only for her. “Do you want to get ice cream after this?”

“I do!” Margo interjected, clearly tired of waiting. The girl grabbed Ben’s other hand. “But I’d really like to get candy first!”

Rey chuckled, letting Ben and Margo pull her along to their first destination.

For once, she did not feel like the small forgotten child, bounced from home to home. Nor did she fell like the girl sitting in her lonesome with her broken arm, every fiber of her being begging her to run away.

Instead, she felt she was running towards her future, the belonging she sought ahead.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...this is TECHNICALLY THE END.
> 
> We got two little epilogues after. I feel I owe to all of you for all the angst we endured with this fic. :D
> 
> Let me know what you'd like to see in the epilogue and *maybe* I'll included it ;)


	20. Epilogue Part 1: Seven Years Later...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ME: I AM GONNA KEEP THESE TWO EPILOGUES SHORT.
> 
> ALSO ME: *WRITES OVER 7K WORDS* I LIE OKAY?
> 
> Typos will be fixed later!
> 
> Enjoy :D

* * *

 

 

Ben was a weird, but nice guardian.

Margo came to this conclusion within the first two weeks of living with him.

He cared a little too much, but knew when to give Margo her space. He also listened.

Ben was probably the best listener Margo had ever met and will probably ever meet. And he had a weird memory, always remembering the little things, making it his job to make sure he knew her well enough and she wasn’t neglected.

He even told he to tell him if it seemed he was being forgetful of her or got into workaholic tendencies.

She didn’t understand the stern request, but she didn’t argue on it. Let him be the moody, paranoid grumpy man he loved to be.

After a couple of months Margo didn’t want Ben to be her ‘guardian,’ but her _dad_.

Because she realized he was really _good_ at it. She heard enough from her friends at schools about their parents, and was startled to learn Ben went above and beyond. And he genuinely cared—not that Ahsoka didn’t…but Ahsoka was older and getting sick for the latter part of Margo’s stay. Not to mention she watched over numerous children; it was easy for the girl to get swept under the carpet with all the bodies and voices in the group home.

She knew best to not tell him; she didn’t know if he even wanted to adopt, let alone adopt her.

However, that didn’t mean she didn’t drop hints to her caseworker, Rey.

A caseworker who seemed to maker her foster father turn into a puddle of goo and fumbled words whenever she was in the vicinity. At least, he acted that way when he thought no one was looking.

But Margo was always watching.

And she knew Rey and Ben were something more than friends and…Margo could not help but fantasize about them actually getting together.

Getting married.

Adopting _her_ together.

Rey and Ben being her _parents_ …

It was a silly little dream she toyed with forever.

Until it somehow became a reality—

 

“ _Margo_! I told you to clean the living room—I know at least Nana and Pop-Pop are coming in less than a half hour and I tripped over a pair of your shoes!”

Hiding from her mom and dad in her sisters’ bedroom, Margo barely lifted her head from her laptop, focusing on her paper. A paper that she was supposed to finish before Thanksgiving, but procrastinated until the last minute. She could not help it that she despised her general ed. history course, Ancient Greeks—who the fuck needed ancient Greeks when her major was still a beautiful _undeclared_ her sophomore year of college—and regretted taking the course and wanted to completely mark of the semester all together because of how hellish it seemed to be getting.

She didn’t need to pass—she could just become a hermit and hide in her younger sister’s bedroom for the rest of her life. She was sure her mom and dad would _love_ that.

A head popped over from the top bunk, long brown hair draping down in a curtain. A silly little smirk formed on the six year old’s lips, Margo glaring at the girl.

She usually adored Lilly, the second youngest in the home. She’d been with them for two years, and as far as Margo knew, was in the process of being adopted. But she wasn’t going to start calling the girl her sister just yet…adoptions had fallen out before and their little family knew anything could happen in the process.

“You’re in _trouble_ ,” the girl sang. Her giggles revealed a missing top tooth, she tauntingly sticking the tip of her tongue through it.

Margo grimaced. “Get down, you’re going to fall hanging like that.”

“Ben’s upset with you!” she sang out again, for some reason finding it funny Margo’s dad was annoyed with her lack of cleaning.

As though being summoned, the bedroom door opened revealing a frustrated and exhausted Ben. “Margo, I called you—,” his eyes narrowed on her laptop, “are you _still_ working on that paper?”

“Uh…”

“Yup!” Lilly proclaimed, swinging her head back up at him.

A flash panic shined in his eyes, Ben coming over and lifting Lilly off the top bunk. “Yeah, squirt let’s not hang off the top bunk. I’d rather not have broken bones,” he warned earnestly, however Lilly seemed to barely take his words as a grain of salt. The six year old happily wrapped her arms around his neck, preening at the attention.

Margo rolled her eyes.

“I am almost done.”

“Like you were almost done yesterday?” Ben asked knowingly. “Off the laptop now, help clean up.”

Groaning, Margo shut her laptop and followed her father out of the room. “I was seriously almost done,” she defended.

Ben raised an eyebrow, but no longer remarked on the apparent never ending paper. Taking a step ahead, he led the way down the stairs. He grumbled at the sight of a lingering soccer jersey hanging on the banister. “ALEX! GET YOUR UNIFORM!”

A thud was heard from upstairs, the twelve year old boy popping out of the far left room. His light brown hair flounced around, barely put together despite ordered to look _nice_.

Ben held the jersey up insistently.

The boy’s blue eyes squinted and then shook his head. “Not mine—it’s Levi’s!”

“I swear,” Ben huffed under his breath, “then get it for your brother!” Alex opened his mouth to protest only for Ben to beat him to the punch. “I don’t care that it is not yours—I just need it gone!”

“Ugh! Levi!” Alex shouted out, marching back to his bedroom.

Shouting and grumbling was heard, until a nearly identical boy popped out. They should’ve known it was Levi’s—he was the messier twin despite both Alex and Levi being exceptional messy individuals. It drove Margo and Rey up the wall.

Ben tossed the jersey to the boy.

“Thanks, Dad!” Levi called out, dashing away.

Satisfied, Ben continued his journey down the stairs, Margo hot on his tai . “I need today to go well—this is the first time the _entire_ family will be together for Thanksgiving in years.”

“Even Uncle Luke?” Margo asked, eyes widening.

“Yes, even that old bastard.”

“What’s a bastard?” Lilly asked innocently.

Margo and Ben glanced at each other in panic. Neither want to give the true definition or how it was an insult a six year old should not know. Leave it to Ben to accidently call his uncle a bastard in front of an impressionable child.

“Um, a fuddy duddy,” Ben answered as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

“ _Oh_ ,” she sighed knowingly, nodding along. “Got it!” she tapped her forehead, eyebrows furrowed.

“Why don’t you help Rey with the table, huh squirt? I think I left her alone too long.” He carefully set the girl down on the floor, the taking off without much more prompting.

He nervously glanced around, rubbing his hands on the front of his shirt. “Like I said I need this to go well…”

Margo’s face scrunched, she looking up at him, puzzled. “Why are you on the verge of a freak out? It’s just Thanksgiving—”

“ _I’m proposing tonight_.”

Her next words fell short as a girlish yelp and squeal came from her. “What-what—you mean you’re _really_ going to—”

“Yes, now shh!” he hissed.

While they were clearly head over heels enamored with each other, Rey and Ben…did things their way, as always. Seven years, three adopted kids, several foster children in and out of their home and one baby later, the couple had their hands full and marriage never seemed to happen despite the two essentially being married in every way _except_ signed to a piece of paper. No one ever commented on this tiny detail, the two recognized as domestic partners legally.

However, it was no secret the two _did_ want to get married. Both Rey and Ben were romantics at heart, and Margo had heard the discussions and wistful thoughts from the two numerous times. Life and time just never seemed to be on their side.

Until apparently _now_.

“When are you going to do it?” Margo asked, giddy at the thought.

Ben stuffed his hand into his pockets, rocking a bit on his feet. He reverted to a nervous dweeb at the thought of proposing. “After dinner, before dessert.”

“In front of everyone?”

“I—”

The doorbell rang.

“Agh! Ben—Margo— _someone_! I need help in the kitchen!” Rey cried out from further in the house.

Huffing through his nose, Ben took off towards the kitchen, the sound of the youngest’s cries echoing. Left in his wake, Margo went to open the front door, instantly brought into a warm hug.

“Margo, sweetie,” Leia cooed into her ear, giving a tight squeeze. “It is so good to see you.”

“Not causing any trouble at that damn school of yours?” Han’s gruff came from behind his wife. He reached in for a hug as well, bumping a frowning Leia out of the way. “It’s so far, no one can keep an eye on you.”

“Yes, so far,” Margo added with eye roll, “Twenty minutes and carpool with my dad is _so far_.”

After much badgering and insisting, Ben finally decided to go back at get his Masters in Psychology with a fast track to a Ph.D in Family Counseling and Therapy. Only he happened to be going to grad school at the same university Margo attended undergrad. Though the two’s paths rarely crossed on campus, if ever, there’d be the occasional professor or TA who’d see her name and ask if she had any relation to ‘Ben Solo.’

Her answer was usually a muttered ‘he’s my dad’ and nothing more. Apparently her dark hair and relatively grumpy attitude sealed the assumption correct, despite the two not being related by blood.

Han chuckled, he and Leia stepping further into the house, greeted by two boisterous twins. “My two favorite guys!” Han cheered, charging in to tackle the two.

Shaking her head, Margo smiled. The twins had somehow became the apple of Han’s eye. He’d argue all his grandkids were the apple of his eye, but everyone knew it was different with the boys— _'making up for lost time’_ , Leia explained with a sage nod. Guilt seemed to do a number on the Solo family, but at least it manifested in them becoming better individuals…even if it took _years_ to get there.

“My goodness, I swear winter is the worst time of year to be here,” Luke grumbled. He came hurrying into the house after his sister and brother-in-law, shivering from the down pour.

Dutifully, Margo greeted her uncle with a hug and shut the door behind him, hoping her disdain for him wasn’t too obvious. She was aware her father had a love-hate relationship with Luke; it took all her will power to not their history cloud her judgement.

Smiling and nodding politely seemed to do the trick around the nosey and opinionated man.

“You guys can hang your coats on the tree,” she motioned to the corner of the foyer, “and put your stuff down around here—”

The doorbell rang again.

“Margo, kiddo, can you get—”

“Already on it, Dad!”

Opening the front door once more, Margo’s eyes widened at the young man on the other side.

“ _Eli_?”

He smiled, a bit bashful by her near yelp.

And Margo ungracefully said—“What the hell are you doing here?”

His smile fell, he hugging the tray of what looked like pumpkin pie close to his chest. Former moppy hair of chestnut curls were now cut close into a wave and he was dressed in a flattering black peacoat rather than his loved-but-tattered brown corduroy and fleece jacket.

He looked like an adult. _A real adult._

Margo felt small in his presence.

“Uh, yeah,” he uttered, a bit bluntly, “Rey and Ben invited me. Like they do _every_ _year_ , Margo,” he explained slowly, clearly not understanding why she was acting like a dear caught in headlights.

“I just thought…” she shook her head. “I mean, aren’t you supposed to be in Nevada or Colorado or something?”

Just as he was opening his mouth to reply, a bubbly blonde came ambling up beside him, crowding under the dry front porch.  The rain was starting to come down harder, a flash of lightning far off on the horizon. “Hey, I grabbed the—” her words fell short when she saw Margo. “Oh, you must be Eli’s sister!”

“Fos,” she started to correct without missing a beat.

“Favorite sister! Margo is my favorite sister. _Not that it matters_ ,” Eli stressed between clenched teeth before beaming at the blonde beside him. “Hayley this is Margo, my sister. And Margo this is Hayley, my girlfriend.”

Margo flashed a fake smile, ignoring the drop of her gut at the words ‘sister’ and ‘girlfriend’. “Charmed.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“No, no, no,” Rey chided, prying the large spoon out of the toddler’s hands.  “Rine, we do _not_ hit each other with utensils.”

The two year old blinked at her, only to reach for the spoon once more with a whine. “ _Oon_! _Oon_!” Catharine called out, little hands opening and closing insistently. Her wide hazel eyes widened as the spoon was moved farther and farther out of her reach, lips pouting just like her father’s at the realization she wasn’t getting the spoon back.

Huffing, Rey set the spoon on the counter, balancing Catharine on her hip. From the confines of the kitchen she could hear Ben setting up the table with the help of Lilly as well as a few of their guests arriving. The food was already prepared, she, Ben and the occasional kid or two who decided to venture into the kitchen for a snack, pulled it all together in the span of a day.

And while Rey knew she’d eventually need to leave the kitchen…

She was prolonging the inevitable.

Her dear, lovable grump of a partner was not as clever as he thought.

Three weeks ago she found the ring in his night stand. She had a headache and knew Ben always kept an extra bottle of Aleve in the back of his beside drawer. Thinking she grabbed the bottle she’d been surprised to find a ring box instead. The antique pearl ring had been his grandmother’s, she had seen it in plenty of pictures Leia had shown her through the years. Though usually worn around her neck and attached to a chain, Rey recognized the piece of jewelry the moment she laid her eyes on it.

And now he invited everyone—absolutely everyone—over for Thanksgiving dinner to make a show of it.

While she appreciated the thought, Rey would have preferred a private proposal if anything.

Just him and her.

She liked it when it was just him and her, because it never seemed to be just them these days.

It was nonstop— taking care of a crying toddler, handling another fight at school, shuffling the boys around from one activity to the next, going to work, and making sure their college student child wasn’t collapsing in on herself with work-school- _and_ -extra-curriculars. No that Rey minded—she loved the kids, and they were more than the family she dreamed of having.

Her life was more than anything she dreamed of ever having.

But that didn’t mean it was fucking exhausting.

So Rey would have been fine with just her and Ben doing _anything_ without the kids.

Even if it was shopping at _Costco_.

Actually a shopping trip to _Costco_ would have been perfect—they always had deals on wine and the free samples could fill her up. No meal necessary.

“Mama,” Catherine whispered between her hands, giddy.

“Yes Kitty-Cat?”

“I love you,” she mumbled, wrapping her little arms around Rey neck. With great flourish, she pressed a sloppy kiss on Rey’s cheek.

“I love you too,” she smirked at her daughter, “but you are _not_ getting that spoon back you little tease!” She tickled the toddler with her free hand, the little girl collapsing into fits of giggles.

“No, Mama!” she yelp between breaths.

“I hear the little princess!” came Han’s voice from the other side of the kitchen door.

“ _Pop-Pop_!” Catharine squealed, wiggling out of Rey’s arms and charging straight to the dinning room. Her little orange and brown dress flounced around as she took off, her dark curls following the same pattern.

Rey sighed, realizing she could not longer hide. She’d have to face them all sooner or later.

Taking a deep breath, Rey walked out into the dinning room only to be cornered by Margo almost instantly.

_If she could ever catch a break…_

“Why didn’t you guys tell me Eli was coming?”

Rey’s brows furrowed. “I didn’t know he was coming—hell, I didn’t even know Luke was coming.” She waved to the older man, he sitting by himself and already reading from a book he brought along with him. She refrained an eyeroll at the sight.

“Well, he is and he brought his girlfriend,” Margo explained, motioning vaguely behind her. She shuffled from foot to foot, arms crossed over her chest petulantly.

Upset; clearly _upset_ over the news of Eli arriving.

Both Rey and Ben had their suspicions. But she wasn’t going to say anything unless her daughter came to her seeking confidence or advice. Ben went about a similar mode of action, the issue seeming to cease all together when Eli moved away for school a couple of years previous.

“Well, Eli is part of this family—”

Margo’s face soured. “Not really.”

Rey raised a stern brow at the girl. While Eli was never adopted, he refusing the idea when Rey and Ben brought it up to him (at the time he was aging out of the system in less than a year; it felt pointless in his eyes) he was considered family. Always invited, always included. To hear Margo mutter otherwise…Rey knew it was from a wounded heart, but the girl still needed to be reminded of his place in their lives. “He _is_ part of this family, adopted or not, and we always invite him. I don’t see how this is a problem.”

Without having a retort, Margo marched off to the table.

Of course Thanksgiving couldn’t be simple could it?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Ben’s palms couldn’t stop sweating.

Discreetly, he wiped his hands on the back of his sweater.

Thankfully, no one noticed.

He tried to focus on what’s her name—Hayley— was saying. She happily greeting everyone as though they were her own family rather than Eli’s. Ben was mildly annoyed with her, but he couldn’t very well say that, choosing to smile and nod politely.

“I’m sitting next to Pop-Pop—”

“No I am!”

“No I am”

“Me—not you!”

“Whoa,” Ben called out, interrupting Hayley as his focus leapt to his twin boys. “Both of you can sit next to him. One on the right and the other on the left. Got it?”

Grumbles were heard from both Alex and Levi, but they shuffled around to find their spots. Once the two were seated with an empty chair between them, they resumed their usual chatter, the argument long forgotten.

Sometimes it was difficult to believe the two were once separated, most families not wanting to foster two young boys, let alone twins.

Initially it was just Alex, barely seven years old and facing the sudden loss of his parents. It wasn’t until a couple of meetings with his caseworker was it revealed the boy had a twin, alive and placed in another home. The boys only saw each other at school, making it a little more bearable, but not in slightest ideal. Thankfully, their teams worked to get them back together after the emergency placements. With both Rey and Ben pulling some strings, a little less than a few months passed before Alex was able to join Levi again. And they were able to stay with each other since, their adoption securing them in one home and family.

“I’m sorry the twins get like that sometimes,” Ben apologized, turning back to Hayley with a forced smile.

“It’s alright,” she chuckled, waving it off.  “I was just saying that your wife must be a trooper to have this many kids and all spread out in ages—my mom had one and was done.”

Her comment puzzled Ben. “Oh, Rey and I aren’t married.”

Hayley’s momentary confusion melted into understanding. “Oh, are you guys a blended family then? Eli never mentioned—”

“Hey Hayley, come meet Uncle Luke,” Eli insisted, dragging his girlfriend away.

“Talk to you later Mr. Solo,” the girl called out, already starting to listen to Luke prattle off about some topic. Ben swore it was birds, birdwatching his Uncles latest hobby in his retirement.

Ben blinked at where the girl stood, thoroughly confused. She seemed to think…

He brushed the thought away.

There was no way Eli didn’t tell her he was in the foster system. He recalled the boy proclaiming it at every turn, as though wearing his circumstance proudly on his sleeve.

“Hey there,” an arm looped around his. Looking down, Ben found Rey smiling up at him. Eyeing him up and down, she nodded in approval. “You clean up nicely. No coffee stains _or_ grass stains.”

Ben smirked. “I _can_ not be disgusting believe it or not.”

“I believe it,” she teased, “it’s just a rare sight. I like it though. I think Shirt-and-Tie Ben needs to go away and be replaced by Professor-and-Dad Sweater Ben.”

“I’ll put more sweaters on my shopping list.”

“Perfect,” she grinned up at him, placing a kiss on his cheek. Pulling away, her dancing eyes became a bit somber. “Do you think we can chat real quick, before we start dinner—”

“Why—what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Rey was quick to assure him, “I just…want a moment alone, since I think it is going to take tooth and nail to get them all out later,” she added with a small chuckle. A _forced_ chuckle.

His lips twitched down.

He didn’t believe her. Something was clearly wrong and she wasn’t saying anything.

“I sit with Pop-Pop!” Catherine cried out, seeing her brothers on either side of Han’s chair. She was wrapped up in her grandfather’s arms, looking down at the twins with a stern brow and pout, arms crossed over her chest.

Han looked up at Rey and Ben with panic, the kids starting to argue with each other. “What am I supposed to do? I’ve never been this popular!”

Ben scoffed at the outcry. “Kitty-Cat, why don’t you sit with Mama and Daddy?” he offered the toddler, already coming around the table to pick up the little girl.

She shook her head defiantly. “No!” Her eyes began to well, Ben’s chest constricting. He was never good with tears when it came to his little Catherine. She looked too much like Rey with those big hazel eyes and stern brows.

“Dad, she _always_ sits with Pop-Pop,” Alex was quick to interjected. “Cat just needs to stop being a baby!”

“Shut up, Alex,” Margo chimed in across from him. She helped Lilly sit down, the girl needing a little booster seat to sit properly on her chair. “She’s a _literal_ baby.”

“I’m not baby!” Catherine cried. “You baby!” She pointed a brutal finger to Margo.

There was a collective sigh from Margo, Levi, and Ben. Catherine was in the phase where she hated being called ‘baby,’ even though she _was_ the baby in the family. The only person she seemed _okay_ with calling her a ‘baby’ was oddly enough Lilly. The girls were close, Catherine toddling after the older girl and the two playing dolls together, Lilly patient enough to happily with someone younger than her.

“Kitty-Cat,” Ben said warningly, picking the girl up from Han. Begrudgingly she let him, but glared. “Let’s not get upset—you can sit with Pop-Pop later.”

Han nodded gratefully, not liking to be caught in the middle with the kids. He tried his best to spend time with them equally but left it to the children to hash out amongst each other. Which was awful and poor judgement of Han, leaving Ben or Rey to settle debacle of who spent time with who.

Out of the kid’s clutches, Han took off to go help Leia with drinks, his mother becoming naturally becoming a hostess despite it not being her home. Not that Ben was complaining—it was nice to have someone else take over for a moment.

As Ben carried her back to their spot, the toddler curled into him and muttered, “You baby.”

He snorted. “I know I am.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Margo tried not to glare at Hayley.

Key word: tried.

But it was difficult as hell. The girl practically perfect in every way; hair neatly comb and full of life, make-up put together without a single smudge, and laughing prettily at all the right jokes.

No wonder Eli liked her.

Margo could not help but think how she hadn’t washed her hair in three days, dousing it in dry shampoo, only bothered to put on eyeliner and mascara, and snorted until wine almost went up her nose at one of Alex’s fart jokes.

She was glad Hayley was practically on the other end of the table, roped into a never ending conversation with Uncle Luke. Margo was caught sitting with all the girls in the family, placed between Lilly and Catherine. Unfortunately, she was sitting across from Pop-Pop, who continued to make faces at her.

Lilly tugged on Margo’s sleeve. “Go-Go, can you get me more sweet potatoes, please?” she asked.

“Of course, squirt.”  She patted the girl’s head before heading over a couple of seats down.

Reaching for the sweet potatoes—placed towards the head of the table by her dad and Rey—Margo noticed how fidgety her parents seemed to be. Her dad kept on dropping his fork and her mom seemed to look everywhere but Ben, forcing a bright smile to anyone glancing her way. However she went right back to worrying her bottom lip when she thought no one else was looking.

Rey’s left hand fidgeted, her thumb rubbing her ring finger—

Margo’s eyes widened

_She knew._

Of course Rey knew Ben was going to propose. He was transparent and wore his heart on his sleeve, not to mention the two knew each other forever. Rey couldn’t even keep Ben’s surprise fortieth birthday party a secret, spilling the beans within the first week of planning.

Margo still hadn’t completely forgave her mom for that.

“Um, Mom can you pass the sweet potatoes to me?” she asked.

Rey perked up, “Hm, oh yes,” she muttered, handing over the heavy dish.

Biting her lip together, Margo knew she was going to get an earful later but decided to bite the bullet—

With discreet agile grace, Margo _accidentally_ dropped the serving spoon on her dad’s lap.

“Shit!”

A smattering of orange sludge covered Ben’s dark denim pants, effectively stained in an instant.

Rey grimaced while Ben silently seethed.

“Sorry Dad!” Margo was quick to interject, setting the sweet potatoes down beside hers and Lilly’s plates. The six year old’s eyes widen at the sight, digging her fork into the dish before anyone could protest.  “We can clean it in the kitchen,” she said hurriedly, nudging him along. “And it will all be okay!”

Struggling to contain himself, Ben exhaled sharply.

“Dear, just listen to her,” Rey insisted, shooing him to go. “Take care of it now and it could be easily fixed. I’ll keep an eye on the girls.”

Lilly sent him an innocent grin, continuing to eat straight from the dish. Meanwhile Catherine enacted a quite play with her food, her mashed potatoes and turkey talking very seriously to each other.

Ben sighed. “Alright, alright.” He followed Margo into the kitchen with a grunt.

Upon entering, Margo whirled back around to him, panic coursing through her. This night wasn’t going to go at all as he planned and Ben was definitely going to lose his cool.

“Mom knows you are going to propose,” she hissed.

Ben paused, frozen still by the words. Disbelief, followed by agony coursed through his eyes, to eventually accepting the blunt fact Margo threw at him with little prompting.

He groaned dropping his face in his hands. “ _Fuck_.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Oh, excuse me, need to get the little ones some more turkey,” Rey muttered, coming over to the other end of the table. While she knew she could have passed the plates over to have turkey cut for the kids, she was hesitant, knowing how Lilly and Catherine liked their food cut and arranged. Rey wasn’t in the mood to handle any tantrums or meltdowns that day.

Eli’s girlfriend, Hayley—one Ben told her about with great disdain— scooted to the side, grinning up at Rey. “ _Hi_ —I don’t think we got a chance to meet in all the dinner commotion. I’m Hayley.”

Balancing plates and serving spoons, Rey stressed a smile to the peppy girl. “Uh—hi, I’m Rey and while I’d love to chat, I’m kind of on mom duty right now.” A nice simple way to shut down any conversation because Rey was already exhausted just being in the girl’s presence.

“I just got to say, you look wonderful for having this many kids,” Hayley complimented. “And you look so young too!”

Rey frowned at the girl, turkey long forgotten. Her eyes narrowed on her. “How…how old do you _think_ I am?”

“Aren’t you in your for—”

“Mom! Let me help you with that.” Eli jumped to take the plates from Rey, she frozen into a stupor.

At a loss for words, Rey blinked dumbly at him as he severed more food.

Eli had never in his life called her ‘mom’.

And it was strange to say the least. Passing her a plate, Eli led the way back to other end of the table, the boisterous laughter from the twins distracting the room from the growing apprehension and disappointment looming on Rey.

Once the plates were set back with Lilly and Catherine, the latter placing a kiss on Eli’s check as thanks, Rey grabbed him by the bicep. “You. Me. Hallway. _Now_.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“What do you mean she knows?” Ben hissed, running his hands through his hair. “I was carefully. So fucking careful!”

Margo whimpered, slumping against the kitchen counter. “I don’t know! But she does and I can tell because—because Mom doesn’t know how to _not_ be emotional!”

Her father ignored her in favor of pacing the length of the kitchen. His hair askew and his thumbnail being bitten to the numb from his nervous energy, on the verge of full blown panic.

“I wanted it to be a surprise because she deserves to have a romantic surprise!”

Margo rolled her eyes at the term _romantic_.

Her parents were the most disgustingly simple romantic people on the planet. Thoughtful gifts, hugs and PDA galore through out the house. Bragging to other people just how wonderful the other was, but also being deeply private.

It was fucking ridiculous, especially when supposed _romantic moments_ upended themselves on their head.

Like now.

“Yes, Dad. Proposing in front of our entire family,” she gestured violently to the door, “is so romantic?”

“It is!”

“It’s _not_!”

“Then what do you suggest?” Ben asked lowly, dropping his voice so no one outside could hear them. Honestly, it’d be impossible considering Alex and Levi never seemed to not be loud, Lilly liked to hum and sing to herself loudly, and Nana and Pop-Pop argued like it was going out of style.

If anyone heard them, it’d be a miracle.

“I don’t know,” Margo shrugged, “something where maybe Catherine won’t accidently pee her pants and Pop-Pop won’t wolf whistle?”

Ben stood taller at her words, his excitement from earlier extinguished. “Okay…okay.” He nodded along, hands on his hips as he considered her suggestion. “Maybe something private?”

“Private okay—just need to get her alone and do it later.”

Margo sat up, alert. “You still want to do it today? Why not hold off, wait until, I don’t know— _tomorrow_? When everyone is gone?”

A sad smile formed on his lips, her father simultaneously light and heavy as he came to his answer. “No. I have to do this _now_ ,” he stressed, a weariness hanging of his shoulders. “Today because I am tired of waiting. And your mom is too. We’ve wanted to get married for a while, but timing is just…” He shook his head with an eyeroll.  “And you’re right Rey deserves a private proposal—even if it is at, I don’t know—a _Costco_.” He paused, snorting. “She would actually like that with all the free samples there.”

If that was the case, Margo just needed to find a way to get Rey and Ben out of the house…

And then it hit her.

She rushed to the freezer, swinging open the door.

They didn’t have ice cream.

Margo spun back around, greeting her father with a mischievous grin. “Want to take mom on a walk downtown to pick up some ice cream for dessert?”

Her father’s boyish grin was answer enough.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Eli—what is going on?” Rey asked, bumping his shoulder. He flinched before smiling, he nearly knocking into the banister. They sat side by side on the stairs, Rey hugging her denim clad legs close to her chest, while Eli kicked his legs out. His petulant pout reminded her of a five year old rather than the twenty-two year old he claimed to be. “Either you are lying to your girlfriend, or she is a nut.” Rey shrugged. “I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Please tell me she is _not_ a nut.”

Eli slumped, leaning against the banister. His 5’10 frame looked awkward bunched on the stairs, but he made do with the space. Far more comfortable speaking there than anywhere else.

He shut his eyes tight, refusing to look anywhere. “I’m a liar, Rey.”

“I surmised that much,” she said softly. She rested her hand on his shoulder and gave a squeeze. “But I knew that already.”

Eli was a case Rey took home. A case she shuffled around in her favor and had to convince Ben to take despite Margo’s adoption finalizing less than a year before and the chaos surrounding getting Alex and Levi reunited.

_“I have a young teenage daughter to think about—I can’t just bring in some seventeen year old boy who could cause harm.”_

_“He’s a good kid, Ben. Trust me—he just needs to be somewhere until he ages out. Low maintenance. And I think it would do you and him both good. Please.”_

And Eli was an overall decent kid, who ended up staying with them far longer than either Rey or Ben anticipated. Sure he had a tendency to fib, but it was mostly about his feelings and previous home lives. Private, personal, and closed-off. He struggled a bit in school, though with some extra tutoring he was able to pull through and attended a community college. The plan was for him to continue staying with them once he finished his two years and transferred to the local four year university; a way for him to save money while still working and helping around the house.

That is until he randomly decided to pick a different university a couple of states away and leaving without little discussion other than—‘ _I need to go out on my own for bit_.’

Rey and Ben both knew he was running away.

From what? Neither knew, but they had their suspicions.

“I…” he screwed his eyes shut, inhaling deeply. “I just didn’t want to be known as the ‘foster kid’ or ‘charity case’ at my new school.”

Her heart went out to him—she understood the pain well. Attending Naboo University was wonderful; she wouldn’t trade the experience for the world. But she did know what it was like making friends and discussing her past with her peers. Explaining how she didn’t technically have a family, bounced from home to home. How she was a _no one_ and had _no one_.

It was that second month of college did she get her tattoo, needing to remind herself she wasn’t alone despite what the voices in her head and her fellow student might have said.

“So…maybe I lied,” he confessed, hands fidgeting. “Maybe I said I had a mom and dad and bunch of brothers and sisters, who all loved each other because it was easier than saying otherwise.”

Eli’s eyes remained shut.

Rey sighed heavily, removing her hand.

“And let me guess…the lie perpetuated with this girl?”

“Yeah.”

“And you like her a lot don’t you?”

Eli opened his eyes and nodded silently, eyes welling. He inhaled sharply, the threatening tears gone and eyes relaxing. “But I can’t tell her the truth now. She’d break up with me.”

Rey latched her hand on his, sending him a comforting, motherly smile. “Oh, if she really likes you and came all this way, I highly doubt that.”

He didn’t grasp her hand, but nodded mutely. Glancing over to the dinning room, he frowned. “Margo hates me huh?”

Rey winced at the pain in his voice. “Well, you have purposely visited when she isn’t around and only stayed a day for the last two Christmases. I think saying she is upset is an understatement.” Choosing her words carefully she said, “But I don’t think she could ever hate you.”

Her comment did little to him, Eli emotionless. “Okay….because I do care about her. She’s practically my sister, even if she doesn’t want to be,” he said forcibly.

Rey wasn’t too sure if he was attempting to convince her or himself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

With Margo’s help, Ben was able to convince Rey to go with him to the convenience store a few blocks over. Neither could bare to part with downtown Chandrila, relocating to a townhouse a couple of streets away from Ben’s old apartment. Getting to work was a bit easier for all parties involved, and luckily their favorite convenience store was still a simple walk away.

“You know what—screw the kids,” Rey announced, plucking a pint size tub of chocolate chip cookie dough from the back fridge in the store. “I am getting myself my own personal ice cream because Margo didn’t do shit and swear Levi ate half of the gravy by itself when I wasn’t looking.”

Ben huffed through a snort, grabbing the two other tubs ice creams on their short list. Apple pie alamode was an option for dessert, but they obviously needed to grab the vanilla ice cream to complete the treat. He then grabbed a sherbet for Alex’s dairy sensitivity and cookies-and-cream to satisfy the masses.

“You can do whatever you want, Sweetheart,” he assured her as they walked by the to-go food aisle.

Rey snatched a plastic fork, already popping off the lid of her _Ben & Jerry’s_. She ate a spoonful, humming delightfully to herself. “Yes—yes. This is true happiness right here.”

“What eating ice cream?”

“Eating ice cream and being with you,” she corrected, licking the back of her spoon. “Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“Well, aren’t you the charmer.”

“I try,” she winked at him an near instant flush rushing to his cheeks.

Rey cackled at the sight.

Together they ambled through the rest of the short aisles, stopping at the wine section.

“Oop! There it is!” Rey cheered, pointing to the gross five dollar wine she favored forever ago. “I haven’t had a glass of that since—”

“Since you started dating me,” Ben interjected with chuckle. He picked it up, frowning at the poorly written ‘Italian’ label, none of the words correctly written or punctuated. “I think I made it a deal breaker. I wanted you to at least start drinking eight dollar wines. You know, make you a _real_ adult.”

She clasped a hand on her forehead, face scrunching with joyous embarrassment. “That’s right! Gosh, that was what? Seven—eight years ago?”

Ben smiled down at her, eyes softening. “Something like that.”

Shoving her spoon into her ice cream, she snatched the bottle with her free hand. “This has more alcohol content than your prissy stuff,” she remarked, grinning down at it. “Weird to think we stumbled upon each here of all places when—”

The next words died in her throat when she saw Ben down on one knee.

It was a miracle she didn’t drop the wine bottle then and there. With some sense she set it down on the shelf, eyes locked on Ben and only Ben.

He blinked up at her, his brown eyes already watering without yet uttering a single word. Biting his lips together, he swallowed, fumbling with the ring box for a moment. His hands must have been clammy—his massive, warm hands were always clammy when he was nervous. “Rey, I—”

“Yes,” she breathed out. “Yes, _yes_ of course you fucking idiot!”

He paused, face crumpling in gruff laughter and tears. “Let me finish, god damnit!”

“Right, right—” she waved him to continue, “Shit, sorry. Go, go, before I say something else.”

“Okay,” he breathed, shoulders relaxing as he stared up at her once more. “Rey, I love you—”

“I love you too,” she interjected, grinning through a stream of blurry tears.

Ben sent her a stern frown.

“Right sorry, shutting up.”

He cleared his throat once more. “I love you—I have always loved you in some way, even when it was not the way you wanted and yet you still loved me. But I knew the moment I met you, you were going to be in my life for a _long_ time. We have seen each other at our best and at our worst—”

“How fucking long is this speech?” Rey asked, attempting to wipe her face with her shoulder. “Because I have ice cream and I really don’t want it to melt—”

“Will you marry me?” Ben blurted out, teeth gritted and frustration blooming on his face.

“ _Yes_!” She crouched down to his level, dropping her ice cream in favor of pulling him into a firm kiss. “Yes, yes, yes,” she mumbled between breaths, hands latched tightly to his coat.

A soft sigh came from the back of his throat, before he pulled away. “I should probably give you the ring…”

She helped him get the ring out of the box, and Ben slid it on her finger with ease. The pearl and small diamonds surrounding created a simple elegance to piece. A perfect fit for her.

A pitiful sigh came from Rey, her engagement ring and fiancé momentarily forgotten. “I dropped my ice cream.”

He chuckled, holding her close and away from the dripping ice cream. “We’ll get you another one, I _promise_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY. They are gonna get married :D FINALLY.
> 
> Also, the KIDS. BECAUSE ALL OF Y'ALL WANTED THE KIDS AND YOU KNOW WHAT HERE IT IS.
> 
> If you didn't catch the ages
> 
> We have Eli who is the oldest, but technically not adopted and he has an *odd* relationship with Margo, 22.
> 
> Then Margo, who we know and love and cherish :D, 19 (she's all grown up *sobbing*)
> 
> The twins, Alex and Levi, 12. They are loud, soccer players, but also really thoughtful when they aren't being annoying.
> 
> Then Lilly, 6, who will soon be adopted and is a little sneaky one.
> 
> And the youngest and only biological child from Rey and Ben, Catherine at 2 and she is sassy.
> 
> A lot can happen in seven years, except apparently, MARRIAGE.


	21. Epilogue Part 2: A New Year's Eve Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS.
> 
> The LAST chapter.
> 
> Typos will be fixed later! Enjoy :D

* * *

 

 

 

“Has anyone seen Rey and Ben?” Leia shouted up into the house from the first floor.

With the curling iron still attached to her hair, Margo dragged the cord all the way to her bedroom door. Sticking her head out, she shouted back, “NO!”

“ _HAVEN’T SEEN THEM_!”—came another voice from down the hall. It sounded like Alex, but it very well could have been Levi. The two sounded too similar from a distance.

Unclasping the curler from her hair, Margo huffed at her reflection. Leave it to her parents to miraculously _disappear_ two hours before their wedding. Neither went through the traditional motions, sleeping in the same bed and staying in the same room for the majority of the day until it was time to get ready. Ben was supposed to be getting ready in the guest bedroom with Han but who knew if that actually happened.

With a violent tug, the cord released from the wall. Margo tossed the curler to the ground, not bothering with keeping her area clean when guest were due to arrive in a half hour and she had still get to put on her maid of honor dress. Shaking out her curls, her hair fell into soft, short waves. Grabbing a few pins, she tucked her hair securely behind her ear and put on her pearl earrings. Her parents were going for a vintage inspired wedding, ivory, lace, and pearls decorating the roof top terrace, the deep forest green accenting.

“Go-Go!” Lilly called from the ensuite bathroom. She peeked open the door. “I need help with my dress!”

Fixing finishing touches on her make-up, Margo hissed under her breath. She wasn’t going to catch a break with both Lilly and Catherine relying on her to help get dressed. Luckily Catherine was dressed first and put down for a nap, not to be woken until an hour before the ceremony.

Rushing over, she zipped up the back of Lilly’s dress.

A knock on the door sounded, before it was flung open by Nana Leia. “Margo, sweetie, have you seen Rey or Ben I—you’re not even ready!”

“I’m almost ready,” Margo countered, blowing a loose piece of hair from her face.

Patting Lilly’s shoulder, she let the girl run off to her bed. She pulled out a book and began reading, blocking out the rest of the world.

Rushing over to the door, she smiled brightly at Nana Leia, hoping to calm the woman down with her forced can-do attitude.

Nana Leia frowned at her, not believing Margo a bit. “I can’t find your mother or father anywhere—their rooms, the rooftop, the kitchen—nowhere. I tried calling their phones and loe and behold they left them _here_! Knowing those two, who knows where they could have ran off.”

“I’ll look for them!” Margo shooed her grandmother away and out of the room. “I’ll go look for them right now—”

Leia eyed her pajama pants and oversized sweater cautiously. “But you need to finish—”

“I can just throw on my dress later, it’s fine.” She grabbed a pair of slipper boots and shoved them on, bouncing from foot to foot. “Just make sure the girls don’t get dirty and twins are ready. I need them to look nice up until pictures after the ceremony!” she ordered grabbing her keys from the vanity counter. “It shouldn’t be that hard.”

Margo dashed out of the room before Leia could argue.

She nearly collided with Levi. His light hair was placed in all the right places, even his one wonky curl pushed back into submission with gel. A loose tie hung around his neck, blue eyes begging her frantically.

“Go-Go can you help me with my tie—”

“Google it!”

“I tried!”

Refraining a yelp of ‘no!,’ she grabbed the tie and did her best looping. “There—have someone fix it up for you, okay?” She patted his chest and head down stairs a faint ‘thank you’ heard after her departure. Taking two flights down, her grandfather and other bother Alex calling after her as she passed their floor, focused on her task. Mentally, she cursed her parents for getting a townhouse, the amount of stairs ridiculous and the compactness of the entire home aggravating at times.

Such as now.

Other people both wedding party and guests flittered around the first floor, Margo seeing flashed and peeks of her Uncle Luke, Jessiak Pava, Rose Tico and Poe Dameron, along with some vaguely familiar faces throughout the living room area.

Yet none of her parents—it was worth a shot to check.

“If I was Rey or Ben, where would I go?” she muttered, bypassing the room and heading into the kitchen area. Caterers hurried around the room, keeping the food for their late appetizer style dinner warm until after the ceremony, the rooftop effectively cooling the food despite heaters. Screw her parents for wanting a New Year’s Eve wedding.

She was immediately shooed out by Finn, he the chef despite being a wedding guest.

Tempted to scrub her face, Margo faltered, not wanting to ruin her make-up. She marched past the kitchen area into the dining room—

“I’ve seen the way you’ve been acting these last few weeks.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“The constant looks, the avoidance—”

“Yeah, she and I aren’t close anymore.”

“But you use to be and it’s obvious.”

Margo scurried back before either Hayley or Eli could see her, she hugging herself to the wall.

“I can forgive you lying about your past—I understand you were scared and nervous. It’s a year later and I am still here. Any other girl would have broken up with you in a heartbeat.”

“I know and I’m sorry about the lying and I appreciate—”

“Stop—just stop. I get it. But I need to know what happened between you and Margo.”

“Nothing happened between us. We just grew apart.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“But it’s the truth.”

“And what _really_ is the truth when it comes to you, Eli?”

The sound of heels on the hardwood floor alerted Margo, she ducking behind the drawing table further down the hall. Peeking over the edge, she saw the fleeting flashes of Hayley’s bouncy blonde hair as she entered the living room.

Deciding the coast was clear, Margo slowly stood up. With quiet steps she attempted to walk past the dining room to the front door, needing to look for her parents apparently further than their own house.

“How much of that did you hear?”

Margo spun around, eyes screwed shut. Of course Eli heard her—he always did listen. “Um—you want the truth or a lie?”

She heard a tired scoff, no wanting to open her eyes and truly face him. “The truth.”

“Egh…” she tilted her head side to side. “Majority of it.”

“ _Shit_.”

“Yeah…”

Figuring it must be awkward for Eli to talk to someone who refused to look at her, Margo slowly opened her eyes. He stood before her in a well fitted and tailored suit, his dress shirt also black, like all the other groomsmen. The forest green of the tie complimented his warmer complexion, the baby’s breathe and daisies brightening up the dark colors of his suit.

He looked… _nice_. A bit more like Eli than she’s seen him the last few weeks.

“Why aren’t you dressed?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her Slytherin pajama pants. “The wedding starts in less than an hour.”

“Yeah—and the bride and groom are missing!” she hissed, coming closer so no one else could pry into their conversation. “They are nowhere to be found and no one can get ahold of them!”

Eli’s face paled. “Missing? You mean they _ran away_?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes! And I need to find them before we have angry guests on our hands.” Realizing she was wasting time speaking with him, she left for the entryway. She shrugged on her coat and quietly exited the house without anyone noticing. She didn’t even know where to start—her father was a creature of habit but her mother…well her mother could coax that man to go _anywhere_.

The relief she felt upon going outside was seeing both their cars were still parked, her parents taking off on foot.

Margo only got a few steps before hurried feet followed after her, Eli coming up beside her. “It’d be useless for you to go on your own. Better to search together,” he justified before a question could come his way.

Frustrated and not in the mood to counter his logic, Margo ignored him and marched on ahead.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Ben I don’t think adding another napkin on top of me will protect this dress anymore than the other twelve you’ve layered.”

Fiddling with the napkin in his hand, he frowned. “I’d like to at least _try_.”

“I’ve been fine so far!” she countered, hugging her coat closer to herself. Her tea length wedding gown was mostly covered by the coat, but Ben was paranoid. He feared their little coffee adventure before the ceremony—why the hell did they agree for such a _late_ ceremony—would cause Rey to spill coffee on her gown.

She didn’t, drinking her coffee with little hesitance or caution. Just like she always did.

With the chaos of the day, both were exhausted and they had yet to be wed.

A little escape was needed, planning on getting back within thirty to twenty minutes before the ceremony. Before anyone went off looking for them. Their usual coffee shop was only a ten minute walk away from their home and it wasn’t as though anyone could start the ceremony _without_ the bride and groom.

Upon arriving to their usual place, they received a curious look from the young, new barista but didn’t get any questions otherwise.

Rey had her dark chocolate mocha and Ben had his caramel (he was feeling a bit adventurous) latte.

“I think I was about to lose my mind with all those people in our house,” Ben muttered, resorting to ripping the napkin instead of using it.

“Dear, we only invited twenty people.”

“Twenty, plus family. It’s _a lot_ of people.”

Rey snorted. “Most weddings have at least two-hundred. I think we are on the lower edge of that scale.”

He scratched at his jaw, leaning further back in his chair. His fingers clasped and unclasped his cufflinks, a bit stiff in his suit. He hadn’t worn a full three piece suit in ages and he clearly wasn’t a fan. If it was his choice they’d would have been married in whatever they damn well pleased. “We should have eloped.”

“Your mother would have killed us.”

“But it would be a death well-earned and worth it,” he declared, drinking more of his coffee.

She couldn’t argue with him there. “Then let’s just not show up.”

Ben paused, mid-sip. He chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “You’re joking?”

“I could be,” Rey shrugged, “I could _not_ be.”

“You’re joking,” he said, sure of himself. “We’ve been planning this wedding for a _year_. We convinced our close family and friends to give up their New Year’s Eve to spend it with us.”

When she didn’t respond, his eyebrows went up to his hairline.

“Rey— _sweetheart_ —I bought a suit! You got a gown; the kids are all dressed up. It’d be _stupid_ and _selfish_ if we didn’t show up.”

Her red painted lips smirked over the rim of her cup. “I know.”

He opened his mouth to list another slew of reasons, when it finally donned on him what she was doing. “I see what you are doing.”

“Do you now?” she teased.

“Yes.” He set his coffee down and reached for her hand. “While I am not excited about everything else concerning this wedding, particularly everyone watching us declare our love for each other, I am excited to marry you.”

Grasping his hand back, her smile softened. “I am too. We just have to get through the ceremony and it will all be over and we can just steal the cake and hide.”

He grinned cheekily. “That does sound like a good plan.”

Rey leaned forward, holding his hand with both of her own. Her eyes found his and all nervousness they felt throughout the day melted away. “Look on the bright side; if this all goes to hell and you and I fuck up the vows we are already legally married. Certificate and all. You’re stuck with me _Mr. Solo_.”

“There is no one I’d rather be stuck with _Mrs. Solo_.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You should just tell her.”

Eli’s head shot up, stunned by her blunt statement.

“What?”

Margo shrugged, hugging her coat closer as they walked down the familiar downtown strip. Neither had seen Rey or Ben through the various shop and storefront windows. Clipped replied and tense silence filled their journey, Margo aggravated by how they were walking on eggshells around each other.

They were both adults—they needed to act like it and talk like adults.

“Tell Hayley what happened between you and I.”

An exasperated sigh escaped him. “Nothing happened—”

Margo stopped, turning to face Eli straight on. “I kissed you. And you didn’t kiss me back and told me you didn’t like me with a few _other_ choice words.”

He might have told he’d never, in a million years see her as anything other than a sister. And maybe it sung seventeen year old Margo, but she moved on.

Well, she didn’t technically move on to another person. But she emotionally moved past the moment, moved past thinking Eli loathed her very presence and hated her. She moved past thinking of him with hurt in her heart.

Eli went rigid as she hashed out the events, staring at her like a deer caught in headlights. “But I don’t want to tell her.”

“Why not?” Margo frowned. “She’s your girlfriend.”

“Because…Because that is between us—you and I. No one else needs to know about it,” he admitted quietly. “Our relationship—whatever it is—is between us and no one else—”

“But you love her,” Margo reminded him, “if you love her, she deserves to know. To at least have sound mind.”

Eli didn’t say anything, his eyebrows furrowed. He turned on his heel and continued to walk ahead, Margo trailing behind. From behind, she watched him plow ahead, almost completely bypassing the little hole in the wall coffeeshop.

Her parents _favorite_ coffeeshop.

Ignoring Eli’s call for her, Margo marched into the shop. A tingle-ring sounded from the door, the few patrons inside glancing her way—

And then she saw _them_.

Rey and Ben—giggling with one another, drinking their coffee, holding hands. Bundled up in a corner, not paying any mind to the rest of the world.

_Except each other._

Margo stilled, taking in the moment.

Ben’s eyes remained on Rey as she spoke, shining with an unsaid smile. Always watchful, always in awe, as though he never wanted her to experience pain or suffering. To keep the calm and rambunctious joy with her for as long as possible. A completeness encompassing them.

Briefly, she wondered if everyone loved the way her parents did…or if it only happened to a lucky few.

It wasn’t until her dad caught sight of her, did Margo move back into motion.

“Margo? What are you—”

“I’ve been looking for you!” she chimed in before either could explain themselves. “Nana Leia has been looking for you and—” she glanced at her watch, “your wedding starts in a half hour.”

The couple attempted to appear sheepish though failed when chuckles broke through their sorry demeanor.

“I told you they’d come looking soon,” Rey warned, earning an eyeroll from Ben. She turned back to Margo. “We’ll walk back right now.” To further prove her point, she stood up and helped Ben clean up their mess.

Margo picked up some forgotten napkins, tossing them as she followed her parents out of the coffeeshop. Her parents clung together as they left, the cool evening air hitting them. Rushing up to the storefront, Eli paused when he saw Rey and Ben.

“Hey—where were you guys?” he asked a bit out of breath. He walked on ahead of Margo, not noticing she wasn’t following until a few moments earlier.

“Pre-wedding date,” Rey explained, hugging on to Ben’s arm, “my idea. Nothing for anyone to get into a fuss about.” She smiled at Margo and Eli, urging her husband on to lead the way. “No reason to get upset. Let’s get going so we aren’t too late. Margo still needs to get dressed.”

Margo’s eye narrowed at the statement, pushing ahead of the group. After all she needed to finish getting dressed as everyone so _loved_ to mention.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“There you are!” Hayley called out upon seeing Eli enter the house. Rey and Ben were ushered away and up further into the house, while Margo ran off to Leia to take care of some scheduling bumping for the night.

She rushed over to him, a deep crease in her forehead as she watched the chaos of the others play out around them. Shaking her head, she turned back to Eli confused. “Where did you run off? I was looking for you.”

Eli smoothed his suit, looking anywhere but Hayley—instead his eyes betrayed him and landed on Margo.

Her arms waved around as she animatedly explained the situation to Nana Leia, the older woman equally as exasperated as Margo on the situation. Dark curls bounced around her face as a hearty laugh came from her, the stress and worry she wore for the last few weeks melting away.

He felt a little light at the sight.

For the last few weeks, he’d been witness to a frantic and over excited Margo, she rushing around to make her—their parents night special. Doing anything and everything in her power to make it perfect. Well, Rey and Ben standard of perfect, which was a hit or miss all things considering. He’d somehow became her right hand man, followed by the plethora of the younger eager siblings. Whether if it was to help set up or make calls, Eli was there to help.

Spending time with her…it reminded him why he cared about her. Held compassion for the girl who cared too much and gave too much of herself to others.

Hayley caught the direction of his gaze, her jaw tightening.

She cleared her throat.

He dropped his gaze back down to her.

“Eli—”

“I’ll tell you the truth.”

Her expression fell, closing herself off.  “Can we not do this now?”

“No,” Eli interjected, resting his hands on her shoulders. “I need to tell you because you asked and it is bothering you. And someone smart recently told me if I love you I should tell you.” He lead Hayley over to a private corner, where no one would have a mind to listen in on them. Taking a deep breathe, he continued, hoping he was making the right decision. “Margo and I…she liked me. A lot, in a romantic way, not….” He exhaled sharply, keeping his eyes on the speck on the wall rather than Hayley. “Not in a familial way. And I panicked and shut her out. Because I didn’t know what to do.”

Her face relaxed, a little surprised. “That’s it?”

Eli recoiled, feeling as though he bared his soul, only for Hayley to not react as he expected.

She was speaking, though Eli was only faintly aware of her words, caught up in his own thoughts and emotions.

He _wanted_ her to be upset. He wanted her to huff and puff and yell at him. To be _angry_ and tell him how he was _wrong_ and to fight for him. He wanted her to tell him off, instead she was kissing his cheek and telling him she _forgave_ him.

 _Again_.

Forgave him for being harsh to his foster sister but ultimately glad he made the right decision.

Standing there, watching her hurry off with the other guest, Eli wasn’t too sure how he felt—but it surely wasn’t _right_ nor confident in his decision.

His eyes lingered on Margo, she rushing up the stairs without sparing a glance at anyone else. On a mission and moving with purpose, the least of her concerns were _him_.

For him it was the quite the opposite, she in the forefront of his mind. Something that was simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating. A matter he’d have to face eventually—

But that was a conclusion and a choice he’d have to make at another time.

He had a wedding to witness.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Silently, the married couple swayed together to the low tones of ‘Lovesong’ by _The Cure_ , fulfilling their duties as bride and groom with their first dance.  The song was Ben’s pick since Rey picked the cake much to his chagrin, but she couldn’t have picked a more perfect song. Leaning her head against his chest, she closed her eyes, holding him close. A soothing thrum echoed against her ear, Ben’s humming consuming her senses.

She knew he could sing, a talent he hid well, however his _humming_ …

His humming brought a comfort she never knew existed until she was wrapped up in his arms. He’d hum against her neck, her chest, her back, words and lyrics muttered with quiet conviction only meant for her.

She felt serine at the fact Ben was humming as they swayed to their ‘first dance.’

Cracking open her eyes, she found her gaze landing where the kids sat. Alex seemed put out and bored, his tie already lost. His twin, Levi, remained wide-eye as he’d been throughout the entire ceremony, captured by the festivities. Meanwhile Lilly danced in her seat to the music, her dress flouncing with each wiggle and happy squirm.

Standing next to the table was Margo, a sleepy eyed Catherine in her arms. She swayed along with the music, watching with a small smile. Eli sat on the other end of the table, Hayley beside him—yet his eyes remained on Margo.

Rey sighed. But there was little she could do on _that_ matter. Margo and Eli would need to figure that out on their own.

Not to far off was Han and Leia, the former with tears in his eyes, watching with a proud smile.

If she didn’t have all eyes on her, Rey would roll her eyes at Han’s theatrics. He rooted for them the longest, he no doubt feeling personal pride for his son and her getting their shit together after all this time. Leia was no better, sniffling and smiling through it all, quietly scolding the kids if they got a little too loud.

Poe and Jessika watched, both with their own good natured smirks. Kindred souls and oddly enough, best friends as time passed. Rey wouldn’t be surprised if the two had a bet running on when she and Ben were finally going to tie the knot, amused by the pairing for what seemed to be an eternity.

Rose and Finn, a surprising couple Rey never saw coming from a mile away, were sat at the same table along with a bemused Kaydel—the girl who called Rey and Ben’s relationship eons ago and never let Rey forget it. The group of girls had reconnected after Rey found herself settling down, making an effort to get together once a month.

Her eyes drifted to all the faces surrounding them—friends who became and family to the family she created for herself, to the family who wanted to keep her forever and somehow got what they wished. Just not in the way maybe everyone expected.

“It might be silly to ask…but when did you know, or thought you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me?” she murmured against Ben’s chest.

A heavy sigh escaped him. “That’s a long answer. A two part answer.”

Lifting her head, she met his gaze. “I have the time.”

His smirk softened, his brown eyes gentle and earnest. “I knew I wanted to marry you after New Year’s. Nine years ago…” He chewed on the inside of cheek. “I just has this… _feeling_ —a fucking scary feeling, where my gut leapt to my throat and all I wanted to do was run after you—that I wanted to _marry_ you. That you were _it_ for me, no one else compared once I saw you again.”

 

 

_“I guess this where we part ways,” she announced, leaning back against the lamppost. Peering up at him from the rim of her glasses, she smiled—genuinely smiled. “We should do this again some time.”_

_“Roam downtown in the cold? Absolutely. Once I get feeling back in my lungs and feet.”_

_Her chuckle filled the air, she stubbornly hugging her paper bag closer to her chest. “I meant talking—hanging out,” she added with an eyeroll. “It’s weird to think we spent time apart.”_

_Ben nodded, licking his lips as he burrowed one hand deeper into his pocket. “It feels like no time has passed.”_

_“Now that is a lie,” she declared, standing up straight. “I felt the time pass…I just think time stops for bit when were together.”_

_An air of warmth bloomed in his chest at her words, his thoughts akin to hers._

_A soft breeze came through, brushing her short chestnut hair in disarray. Yet she did not dare fix it, matching his gaze with a mischievous glint. Part him urged to tuck each strand back into its place, however he refrained with all his control._

 

 

“And the second part?”

A large boyish, bashful yet confident smile bloomed from him. “The moment I met you, I knew I want to make you happy for as long as I could. I just didn’t know that meant until death do us part.”

Her hand grasped his harder, Rey unable to find the words to say. Instead, she held his gaze, hoping her welling eyes spoke the words she struggled to utter. Relief, gratitude, love…

Faintly, Rey heard someone call out for the count down, a few minutes until midnight.

“How about you?”

A watery chuckle bubbled from her chest, she leaning against him firmly, their swaying slowing. “Well, ten years ago if someone told me I’d be married to Ben Solo, I would have laughed in their face,” his jaw dropped, mildly offended, “but then cried that night because…because I love you. Always had and always will even when I hated you. Because you were the family I ever wanted and needed,” she inhaled sharply, an apology in her eyes. “And I ran away.”

His lips pressed against her temple, a silent acceptance and forgiveness he repeated whenever their past came up.

“But it’s okay,” she said readily, “because this is the version of our I lives I want. It’s better than anything I could have imagined.”

“It’s the version I want too—it’s a version we get to have despite it all,” Ben muttered, brushing away a loose strand of hair from her face. “It’s a life I only want to share with you.” His hand dropped away, resting on her lower back. “But let’s promise to keep the running away to a minimum—it’s going to give me gray hair if we keep this going.”

A boisterous laugh came from her, Rey curling into Ben’s chest. “Okay, okay—no more running away.” A devious glint shined in her eyes. “Unless it is with each other, because I have to admit, earlier was fun.”

“It was wasn’t it?” Ben said with a twinge of playfulness. “Might need to integrate some more ‘runaway dates’ into our plans.”

She bit her lower lip, looking up at him. “I like the sound of that.”

A sharp chime came from the historic Methodist church a few streets down, the bells ringing in the new year.

“Happy New Year, Rey,” he said wrapping both his arms around her waist. His eyes watching her, the rest of the world fading away.

Pushing herself forward, she threw her arms on to his shoulders. Her grin brightened her face, a simple and lasting joy filling her from head to toe. “Happy New Year, Ben.”

Their lips met for a sweet kiss, ringing in the New Year and the next chapter of their lives.

 

 

 

 

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwwwwwweee.
> 
> Rey and Ben married and with a family of their own! As it should be! 
> 
> And Margo and Eli? Well, I will leave that up to all of you. You lovely readers can decided for yourself how their story places out. However, I don't have intentions to continue this universe, as I am satisfied at where I am leaving it.
> 
> A sweet ending for an angst riddled, rollercoaster of a fic!
> 
> THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU to all who have read this fic! For going with me on this journey and sharing you hopes and dreams for this little cast of characters and holding them dear to your heart. All your kind words and love for this fic helped me reach the end and give it the ending it deserved! So thank you so much for sticking through and being wonderful readers :D

**Author's Note:**

> And thus it begins :)
> 
> Expect weekly updates.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated; love discussing the fic with readers.
> 
> Follow me on twitter @intpslytherin97


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